tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23893764892148847482024-03-14T02:56:26.274-07:00Meriwhen the RNMeriwhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14031030238818079477noreply@blogger.comBlogger609125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2389376489214884748.post-27041456772949706312021-04-23T08:39:00.008-07:002021-04-23T08:39:45.641-07:00The "B" wordAnother post that may be TMI though not gross. Consider this your warning.<div><br /></div><div>Still here?</div><div><br /></div><div>OK.</div><div><br /></div><div>I had my follow-up with the women's health nurse practitioner (unrelated note: I can never spell the word "practitioner" correctly for the life of me. I suppose I better learn to do so, especially if I'm going to become one. </div><div><br /></div><div>She was an older woman, grey hair with purple stripes. What's not to like there?</div><div><br /></div><div>It's also different from having a female gynecologist/practitioner. I usually have males...again, not because I prefer male practitioners, but because I have no preference and usually get scheduled with males. So I'm not used to someone who could personally relate to things that I am experiencing instead of finding ways to explain them. Such as my trying to explain to my male physical therapist what ovarian cyst pain felt like.</div><div><br /></div><div>We discuss my history and ultrasound results at length. She brings up various treatment options. One option is hormones, as in an intrauterine device releasing them. As I finally have been able to get my melasma under control (read: it's not getting any worse), I pass, and I don't want it to flare up.</div><div><br /></div><div>The next step up is fibroid removal. This can go one of two ways: remove the fibroids themselves, or just remove it all, i.e., hysterectomy. </div><div><br /></div><div>Well, I've had fibroids removed in the past, and they've always come back. I've had all the kids I'm having. I've already been surgically out of the gene pool for several years. And I'm no spring chicken, seeing as my 50th is only a couple of years away. So why not just take it all and be done with it? I tell her that these fibroids have been giving me grief for many years, and I would like to propose a trade: they can take my uterus and put it in a jar and give me a box of hormone replacement therapy patches. </div><div><br /></div><div>She doesn't blame me for that decision. However, it's beyond her scope to go much further in this discussion, so she has to refer me to a doctor. But there is one test that she would like to do first. Apparently, my endometrium is, in her words, on the "high-end" of normal thickness. It's 1.1cm. So she would like to do an endometrial biopsy just to be on the safe side. </div><div><br /></div><div>Fair enough. I agree. I didn't realize that it would happen then and there. It HURT. And yes, that was with numbing cream. Following that, I decided that I deserved the night off of work. So I asked her to write a medical excuse note for me so I could stay home. </div><div><br /></div><div>I can get my follow-up with the doctor the following week. A male doctor, but I don't particularly care. What I am amazed by is how fast things have been getting accomplished during this whole time. My medical plan isn't always known for its speediness in its referrals. So the fact that I went from zero to a second specialist appointment within three weeks is mind-boggling. It also makes me wonder if the universe is trying to tell me something...</div><div><br /></div><div>Nah, I'm probably just being paranoid.</div><div><br /></div><div>I go home, fill in the family, and go camp out on the couch. I then make the mistake of looking up information about endometrial biopsies. </div><div><br /></div><div>NOW I'm paranoid. And am going to be a bit of a wreck until these results come back.</div>Meriwhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14031030238818079477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2389376489214884748.post-20140521269318885592021-04-17T09:34:00.004-07:002021-04-17T09:38:31.304-07:00In which Meriwhen discovers why she is bikini-challenged<p>No, it's not what you think. And this may enter into the TMI area, though nothing gross.</p><p>You've been warned.</p><p>Still here?</p><p>So here we go.</p><p>In 2019, I developed back pain and toe numbness of unknown origin. I lost weight (40 pounds!), and it didn't improve things. So I entered physical therapy, which helped...until 2020. COVID came along, and I had to catch it, so I was laid flat for a week. Over the year, I somehow injured my back, then my foot, then my ankle. Three separate incidents, Then there were the joys of finishing up graduate school. </p><p>All told, I ended up regaining 27 of the 40. OK, life happens.</p><p>I follow up with my doctors to make sure there's no permanent or irreversible damage. I work with my physical therapist to get them back and foot up to speed to exercise again. I start weight training, going low and slow to rebuild my strength without reinjuring myself. I pay better attention to my eating habits and lose 10 of the regained 27. And the pain went away. </p><p>Life is good again, birds are singing, squirrels are dancing happily...</p><p>Until the pain is back with a vengeance. As in I'm-sleeping-on-the-couch-because-I-can-prop-my-back-up-against-something-hard-all-night vengeance. I don't know what could have triggered it. Perhaps it was a tango with a combative patient: I had been on the psych medical unit a lot recently, and those little old ladies are the ones who usually injure me... generally as I'm helping them with their ADLs. Perhaps I overdid the weights: I did start a new cycle of training with heavier weights. Maybe I'm sleeping the wrong way...who knows?</p><p>My poor PT can't think of what is causing it either. I guess I'm going to be the death of him. He modifies my PT exercises, and I plow along with my best friend naproxen at my side.</p><p>At the start of April, I began feeling a familiar pain in my left side. It feels like the ovarian cysts have returned. I have to go to my PCP for a physical for school later on in the month, so I'll wait to address it with her. Meanwhile, I just do the best I can around all the pain--back and side--until it finally got so bad that I had to stop weight training. </p><p>*sigh*</p><p>My PCP orders the pelvic ultrasound and refers me to gynecology. Surprisingly, I can get an ultrasound appointment scheduled for the following week. Usually, these things take up to a month. Even more surprising, I can get my follow-up appointment the week after. </p><p>So yesterday, I go for the pelvic ultrasound. Anyone who has a pelvic ultrasound knows the joys of that: having to have a full bladder while they press on it for the first half of the exam. If you're female (as I am), you also get a vaginal probe, which actually is nowhere near as bad as the bladder pressing. It's not on my top-10 list of things to do, but there are far worse tests that could be done.</p><p>The first part of the exam goes as expected. The second part should all be downhill, right?</p><p>Except it's not. </p><p>It hurts. BAD.</p><p>Seriously, thanks to three pregnancies, one being high-risk, I've had a lot of pelvic ultrasounds in life. I've never had one that was painful. And it wasn't the sonographer's technique; it was me. She wasn't hurting me. I was hurting. I never wanted an ultrasound to be over so fast.</p><p>I needed to recover from this. I go home, get my little one (who, by the way, is now 6' and wears a size 13 shoe), and we go to Sephora. His idea. A son after my own heart.</p><p>On the way back, my test results are posted to my web portal—good news: no ovarian cyst. But the fibroids are in full force. </p><p>I've always had fibroids. They grow and shrink. I had them removed once, and they came back, so I didn't bother to have them removed again. My providers and I just monitor them. Usually, they don't bother me, and I learned to live with them. But according to the write-up from my PCP, I should follow up with gynecology because these fibroids may be the reason for the back pain.</p><p>Really? Let's meet the players.</p><p>A couple of fibroids are embedded in the uterine wall, the larger of two measuring 3 cm x 3.5 cm x 3 cm. It's practically a square. There is also a fibroid on the outer posterior wall of the uterus that measures 7 cm x 7 cm x 6 cm. My uterus is apparently 10.2 cm x 6 cm x 6.8 cm. So this fibroid is almost (not quite) as large as my uterus. </p><p>And this explains why I have a lower belly pooch that I just can't get rid of, making me bikini-challenged. It's not adipose tissue; it's my uterus being pushed to the front by a belligerent fibroid.</p><p>What were you expecting, a rant about my thighs?</p><p>So here I am, still cuddling with my best friend naproxen, looking up treatment options for large uterine fibroids. I may restart the weight training if the pain permits; otherwise, I'll just stick to the stationary bike and treadmill. </p>Meriwhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14031030238818079477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2389376489214884748.post-62287138963158902392021-04-06T20:28:00.001-07:002021-04-06T20:28:11.862-07:00I forgot to mention how the orientation went...<p>The NP program orientation went well. </p><p>What I found interesting was that an overwhelming majority of my classmates are already NPs in some specialty, just not psych. I think it was only three of us who were not NPs. I think there was another MSN-Ed in there with me. I'm not sure what the other MSN specialized in. </p><p>I bounced this finding off of my DNP-to-be coworker/friend, and we speculated that this was due to one a couple of things. First, given that there have been more than a few cases where non-psych NPs were being disciplined by BONs for dabbling in psych when they shouldn't have, these NPs wanted to pick up psych certification so they wouldn't fall into that trap. Or they probably saw easy money in psych and wanted to get in on it. To my joy, one of the psych education directors let them know in no uncertain terms that psych was not easy.</p><p>In that vein, I also found it interesting that only a couple of us had a significant amount (more than 5 years) of actual psych nursing experience. Most of the NPs had only a couple of years, and it was more from working with psych patients than actually working as a psych nurse. For the long-term ED nurse, same thing: he's worked with psych patients for many years, but not actually as a psych nurse. For the bonafide psych nurses, someone else (a non-NP) had five years in psych, and I was the most experienced in psych at 10+. </p><p>But despite orientating together, all of these people are not my actual cohort. Well, some are. The cohort system is kind of confusing. </p><p>The non-NPs are part of my cohort, and there are a couple of NPs who have to take some/all of the 3Ps, so they would also be part of my cohort. But everyone else has already started the psych NP core classes today. Any of them that can't find preceptors for their clinical hours will have to drop back to the fall classes, and then they'll join my cohort. </p><p>One of my coworkers, who is already an NP, supposedly started today. Though I'm not sure if he had found a preceptor. So there's a chance he may drop back to join my cohort in the fall. Another coworker also supposedly started today, but he's doing the full MSN. Because of that, I think we are technically in the same cohort, and we'll be meeting up in July. Or maybe we're not because he's in the degree program and I'm in the post-grad certificate program. So so confusing.</p>Meriwhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14031030238818079477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2389376489214884748.post-65993191358044673552021-04-06T20:01:00.003-07:002021-04-06T20:01:32.100-07:00I forgot how expensive textbooks were<p>The last time I had bought textbooks was when I had taken the emergency nursing preceptorship course in 2015, and that was one textbook at the cost of $60. With WGU, the cost of e-books was factored into the tuition, which was never a concern. </p><p>I don't begin classes until July, but the NP program had published the textbook list for the three courses I am taking that term. I decided to take a look-see and put them on an Amazon wish-list, so I can start picking them off over the next three months. I'm glad I did because it was a bit of a sticker shock. </p><p>$740. In all fairness, this is the total price if each book was a new print copy. Now, I could--should--look at how I could reduce that whole bill.</p><p>Obviously, the first way to do that is to rent textbooks as opposed to purchasing them outright. I'd have to decide which ones would be worth the rental as opposed to the purchase...the physical assessment texts may be good candidates for this. I already have a set of them from the RN-BSN program. To be honest, it's not as though physical assessment techniques radically change as human body parts aren't radically changing. The only area that I see that might involve a deep dive into new material is how to assess transgender patients. But otherwise, an ear is an ear. So I'd probably get a hard-copy pocket guide to keep on hand and rent the rest of the books for this class. Pathology textbooks may be good candidates for this as well. I believe I still have a patho textbook or two from the RN-BSN program. Let me look and see. If I don't have them, then I'll purchase one. </p><p>Also, suppose it turns out that I like the book enough to keep it. In that case, I could always purchase it, usually at a reduced price, as rentals are almost always used textbooks, to begin with.</p><p>Kindle editions. I will admit that I am not always a Kindle edition textbook fan. As much as I like the Kindle, there's something about having my textbooks on Kindle that turns me off. First of all, not all of them are Kindle-reader ready; instead, you're stuck having to read them on a laptop/desktop computer. Second, the Kindle version format is often warped AF, which can be so distracting that it takes away from the reading. But for some of the textbooks, going Kindle may be a good idea. A drug guide textbook would be a good choice for the Kindle route, as that would be something handy to have on my iPhone.</p><p>Used textbooks. I'm not always a fan of these because sometimes the supplemental material that comes with the book (the CDs or the website codes) is more valuable than the book itself. Plus, it can be disconcerting to read through someone else's highlights, notes, and marks. But for a textbook that I'm not planning to keep, such as assessment ones, this is an option.</p><p>Then there are some things that I just won't budge on. I will purchase any textbook that I know that I will get solid mileage out of for at least two or three years after completing the program. Since I am going the psych NP route, this would definitely be the pharmacology textbooks.</p><p>Last, I've got time to shop around. Amazon isn't the only game in town, which is nice. I've got almost three months to look around and compare prices.</p><p>So maybe I can get creative and cut $740 down to about $400-$500.</p>Meriwhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14031030238818079477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2389376489214884748.post-12661038054777537322021-03-18T09:46:00.003-07:002021-03-18T09:46:22.505-07:00So I got into NP school...<p>It's clear from the subject of this post that I got into the NP program. But let me explain the adventure it was.</p><p>I'm keeping my plans on the QT at work. Only a few people know, mostly because I had to ask them for letters of recommendation. Plus, anyone that had ever managed to figure out my AN identity and who reads this will now know. The Powers That Be don't know yet, and they won't know until I file my first tuition reimbursement request come winter. </p><p>I'm hoping to keep it that way, but it is a small workplace, and news has a way of getting out...if asked, I'm going to stick with my "neither confirm nor deny" line. Though considering I found that at least two coworkers will be in the same program, one possibly in my specific cohort, I'll have a hard time using that line if and when we're on campus together. </p><p>The first fun part was rounding up several schools' transcripts. This is what happens when you go BA to ADN to BSN take 1 to BSN take 2 to MSN, with a side stop at a tiny community college for just for one class because that was an important class you needed, and you happened to be living there at the time. </p><p>The good news is that due to COVID, official electronic submissions were acceptable, so that would save a lot of time. The bad news is that the NP school itself was so backlogged with stuff that it took forever to get to them. Then there was the fact that two of my schools were in Texas, which had suddenly been quick-frozen by that cold snap. They had more important things to deal with than my transcript requests. But they eventually got them out, and the NP school finally got around to evaluating them.</p><p>Second...the three Ps. Every MSN program has the three Ps: Advanced Pathophysiology, Advanced Pharmacology, and Advanced Physical Assessment. I had hoped to use the classes I took at WGU to opt-out to repeat them in the NP program. Alas, the application review board has deemed that the WGU version of the classes is not equivalent. Ironically, the assessment class was the one that I won two Excellence Awards in. It would have been nice if I could have opted out of at least that one. But no, not meant to be.</p><p>The NP school advisor then suggested I try placing out of the 3Ps by applying as an APRN. Alas, again, I am not one, so I declined.</p><p>This sucks, as placing out of the 3 Ps would have been 15 credits of work and tuition saved. But it is what it is. And to be honest, I think I could use a more thorough review of all three courses than I got at WGU. While the competency-based learning was nice, it was also a lot of DIY, and in these courses, not really a lot of content taught to us. On a related note: if you plan to go to NP/DNP school after your MSN, you may want to rethink going to WGU for that MSN. I enjoyed my WGU experience and don't regret doing it. But at the time, I also had no plans whatsoever about pursuing the NP. If I could have foreseen my considering NP school three years ago, I would have made different plans in 2018. But I can't unring the bell.</p><p>Getting everything else submitted was a piece of cake. </p><p>I admit I was nervous about not getting in, especially with them turning down the 3Ps--would they also not be happy with WGU's pass/fail system? So it was a relief to get the acceptance letter. I'm in the post-grad program, but I'm going to be going along with the regular MSN students who have to take the 3Ps. One of the coworkers mentioned above will be in that startup, and I supposedly join them in July. It's a little bit of a weird situation, but then again, things with me usually are.</p><p>Now it's time for all the "pending" stuff. You know, "admitted to the program pending a background check, drug screen, immunizations, etc." I have two weeks to get all of this done before my Zoom orientation, which happens to be tomorrow.</p><p>Hurdle #1: physical exam. Video visit won't cut it. The earliest appointment is next month. Fortunately, the NP program is OK with this.</p><p>Hurdle #2: immunization records. I send an ROI to my providers' records department and am told it will take 15 BUSINESS days to get them. Oy. Fortunately, the NP program is OK with this too. Fortunately, again, COVID vaccination is not required.</p><p>For the record, I am NOT an anti-vaxxer. I am very much in favor of vaccines. But because of my health conditions, I merely prefer the vaccines I receive to be thoroughly road-tested and have full FDA approval before I get them. </p><p>Hurdle #3: drug test. This one is always fun because of my prescription medications. I'm guaranteed to test positive in one category. Two if I use the PRN anxiety medication. Fortunately (word of the day?), this has not been a problem for me so far. However, I'm always nervous because you never know when an employer/school will get picky.</p><p>I look up the lab to see what locations are available for me to get tested at. The closest is 10 miles away. After that, 25+ miles. OK. </p><p>I try to set up an appointment for the test...and all available appointments are either too close to the cutoff date or afterward. OK.</p><p>I expand the search to all sites...same thing. Too close or too late. OK.</p><p>I look to see who takes walk-ins. 10 miles does. So I call them to confirm, and their automated system says, "while walk-ins are welcome, appointments are preferred." That means walk-ins are still good. So I drop everything and go.</p><p>I get there and wait. And wait. And wait. And wait. I have no idea how long I was there before I was seen. When I'm finally called, the lab tech tells me that she had to see everyone else first because they don't take walk-ins for drug testing.</p><p>"Then you may want to update your website and phone message," I reply.</p><p>Well...had I bothered to listen past the initial part of the automated message, I would have learned that appointments WERE required for drug screens. My bad. But she was kind enough not to reject me, and I was grateful. I also learned the valuable lesson of listening to the whole message before hanging up the phone.</p><p>The test is done...and it took forever to get the results. I started wondering if they had lost my sample...remember, that happened to me once before, in the first BSN program. They were going to bounce me if it wasn't for the fact that I had my chain of custody receipt. Thank God I saved the receipt then, and thank God I saved it again this time. Then I started wondering if, finally, someone had an issue with my test results and if I had to go in armed with my prescriptions and a doctor's note. </p><p>But they finally arrived today, and I'm good to go.</p><p>And here I am. I go to my all-day orientation on Zoom tomorrow. I will have to hole up in the bedroom to do this...or I may hole up in the little one's room. Either way, I need to find a place to hole up in for 7 hours.</p>Meriwhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14031030238818079477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2389376489214884748.post-13396177357651091792021-02-25T13:42:00.001-08:002021-02-25T13:42:15.264-08:00I'm alive! And a new path...?<p> What has it been, more than two years since I last wrote? Yeah...life has been busy.</p><p>To give you the Readers' Digest version of what has happened in my life in the last two years:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Adopted a puppy...who is no longer a puppy. It's nice to have a new dog in the house.</li><li>Had to take a break from moderating duties at the forum because graduate school was just too much work.</li><li>Went to Spain to see family. It was my first time ever in Europe. If I could move to Madrid, I would.</li><li>Was transferred to a new home unit at work. I was spending so much time on the psych ICU that they finally decided I should officially be assigned there. So I was, and then the next day, immediately floated back to med-psych.</li><li>Moved to an even smaller town in the mountains. Smaller house but more land. I love living in the middle of nowhere. There's definitely a lot more space, a lot fewer people, a lot more livestock, and a lot more wildlife.</li><li>Went through three advisors in graduate school. The first was there only a couple of months before she decided to return to a job in the NICU. The second was awesome! We were together for most of my time there until she decided to take a job with the state Department of Public Health. At this point, COVID-19 was still in its infancy, so she had no idea what she was getting into...</li><li>Oh yeah, COVID-19. Life upended. Kids home constantly. At least in my new small mountain town, I could go outside and not have to mask up like I was going to see a TB patient.</li><li>COVID and I became intimately acquainted. It was the 10-day headache. Fortunately, the recovery was quick and full. And fortunately, the family was spared.</li><li>Graduated with my MSN-ED. Did not leave my current job as it pays too well. Plus, I never planned to immediately go into education...that's the long game, for when we leave the state and/or I decide to leave the bedside.</li><li>Got through the strangest holiday season. My mother decided to fly out from the east coast for two months, so every two weeks, she would shuffle between my home and my sister's home. </li><li>Meanwhile, our governor was busted violating his own health rules, so he threw a hissy fit and closed the state down through the holidays while she was here. This meant we couldn't do much except go to the parks and the reservation casinos.</li><li>Things started getting back to normal-ish after the holidays. </li><li>I was offered the COVID vaccine. I declined it for now. I'm waiting for the data on its long-term effects and possibly even on the final FDA approval for one of the variants. Then I'll consider taking it. Plus, I have bad allergies which make me very hesitant about taking experimental vaccines.</li></ul>Which all brings me to now...<p></p><p>I received an interesting business proposition...which requires me to be a psychiatric nurse practitioner. Since I wasn't rushing to go right into education, I decided to think about it. </p><p>I have a MSN, so I'm already part of the way done. I could afford school without having to take out a loan (though I'd fight like hell to get as many scholarships as I could!). I'd have a set spot for my clinical hours. I'd have a job when I graduated. And even if the proposition fell through, having the NP would give me more career opportunities, especially if I am planning to leave the state. </p><p>Overall, I think pursuing the NP might be worth it. </p><p>So let's go apply and see what happens. After all, I'm not committed to anything by applying, right?</p>Meriwhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14031030238818079477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2389376489214884748.post-34183235915140198312018-12-13T13:04:00.000-08:002018-12-13T13:04:46.945-08:00No, the thyroid didn't leave. It even invited a friend over.My birthday was nice. I did my mourning the day before so I could make the best of the day. Had a good day at the holiday party with my coworkers, had a good day at home with my family, had a good (sarcasm) time finishing up my performance assessment. I turned that in the following day and found out yesterday that I passed. So I am officially done with my first term. Coming soon: a post on WGU survival tips and must-haves.<br />
<br />
The day after my birthday, I went to my PCP for the follow-up on my blood pressure medication and the investigation into my weight gain. The new blood pressure medication is working fine. As far as the weight gain...she agreed to check my thyroid, but she believes that 1700 calories a day may be too much for me.<br />
<br />
"Even with being on my feet at work and exercising five days a week?" I ask.<br />
<br />
Apparently so. But she wants me stay at 1500 calories a week for at least two weeks. If I don't lose some weight in that time (I'm not counting the water weight I'm bound to lose within the next couple of days, thanks to all the Chinese food I had on my birthday), she wants me to go down to 1200. If that doesn't do it, then 1000. Even 800 if I had to.<br />
<br />
Of course, if I ever had to go below 1200, I'd ask for a referral to a nutritionist first. No offense, doc, but let's talk to someone who specializes in this.<br />
<br />
Labs were done. My TSH is normal. But my chloride is 10 points high. Total protein is a bit low. Everything else is normal.<br />
<br />
Chloride, high? Odd.<br />
<br />
She said she's not worried about it, but I do need to make sure I'm eating enough protein. Should I do the Atkins diet?<br />
<br />
As far as the chloride...I looked it up. Causes of high chloride include:<br />
<ul>
<li>Dehydration <i>(possible)</i></li>
<li>Hypernatremia (high blood sodium) <i>(nope, that was normal)</i></li>
<li>Cushing syndrome <i>(not likely)</i></li>
<li>Kidney disease <i>(kidney-related labs were just fine)</i></li>
<li>Metabolic acidosis <i>(nope, those levels were normal)</i></li>
<li>Respiratory alkalosis <i>(ditto)</i></li>
</ul>
So my best guess is that I need to drink more water.<br />
<br />
I'm disappointed yet relieved that my thyroid test came back normal. Disappointed because hypothyroidism would have explained a hell of a lot of what's been going on with me besides just the weight gain. Relieved because it's better to have the working thyroid in the long run.<br />
<br />
It's going to be tough to keep track of the calories when my mom is here...mostly because I don't want her to know I'm trying to lose weight. She's always been critical of my weight all my life, even when I wasn't overweight to begin with. Yeah, I know. And she tends to believe she knows best about everything...she'll be there, giving me all the diet and exercise advice she has. Meanwhile, she very overweight, doesn't exercise, and her diet is anything but balanced. Or she is trying the latest fad diet or quick fix, such as drinking apple cider vinegar in water and expecting it take off 35 lbs. <br />
<br />
Spoiler alert: it didn't work.<br />
<br />
*sigh* <br />
<i> </i>Meriwhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14031030238818079477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2389376489214884748.post-60883582849578784132018-12-04T08:14:00.002-08:002018-12-04T08:16:50.269-08:00In which Meriwhen wonders if her thyroid went on holidayMy weight loss had stalled, so my psychiatrist started me on a low dose of topiramate which is used off-label for weight loss. They're not sure how it works, but apparently for a lot of people, it does. Considering that I've been tracking my diet for a while now with no results, I figured I'd give it a go.<br />
<br />
I had downloaded an app (Lose It), and have been pretty faithful about sticking to my calorie allotment. It helped me calculate my BMR and an allotment to allow me to lose weight at a safe rate, which we (the app and I) decided was a pound a week. So this translates to about 1700 calories a day. Of course, this still fits in with intermittent fasting, but I do the fasting more because I find that if I eat at work, I want to fall asleep. So I don't eat at work, I fall asleep after work, and when I wake up, 16 hours are gone. 1700 calories for 8 hours is no problem.<br />
<br />
After I finished my half-marathon almost a month ago, I've also been exercising about 5-6 days a week. I've been alternating between the treadmill and the recumbent bicycle. I've also added in some resistance/strength training on the treadmill days, since I tend to spend more time pedaling than walking. I give myself one day of total rest, usually on the last day of my work week as I adjust back to a daytime schedule. I may do a second day if I feel too tired or achy, as I did the other day when I felt sore and exhausted.<br />
<br />
So you think with all of this, I'd have made some mad progress, right?<br />
<br />
My scale says No. My scale had me lose 5 lbs, but then gain 8 lbs. So I'm up 3 lbs. overall.<br />
<br />
Mind you, my psychiatrist's scale has me down 3 lbs. since I started the topiramate. He (and I) were hoping for more than that, but in his words, "between losing 3 lbs. and gaining 3 lbs., I'll take the loss." He tweaked the dose a bit more.<br />
<br />
But that isn't what got me thinking that it might be my thyroid. It's the cold.<br />
<br />
Being from the Northeast, I'm used to cold. I love cold. I dream about snow and rain. I get excited whenever I see clouds in the sky. Hell, I consider it a beautiful day if I can't see my shadow.<br />
<br />
Except that as of late, I feel like I'm freezing. It's only 60 degrees, but I'm freezing. I'm turning on the heat, to the other half's surprise. I'm wearing my coat at work, to everyone's surprise.<br />
<br />
The other half says, "it's not so bad out."<br />
<br />
"I'm taking your sweatshirt then."<br />
<br />
This is not like me, to be stealing sweatshirts and wanting to go around with a space heater. <br />
<br />
I have an appointment next week with my PCP to have my blood pressure medication follow up. I already messaged about having my thyroid tested. My PCP is away until the end of the week, but hopefully she'll agree we should rule out any problems.<br />
<br />
And if it's not the thyroid, then I guess I finally acclimated to the Southern California climate.Meriwhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14031030238818079477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2389376489214884748.post-33847749128204018272018-11-27T12:44:00.001-08:002018-11-27T12:44:19.641-08:00And so it begins...The new grad postings for my healthcare organization are up. Yes, it's that time of year when the new grads finish up their residency and start jockeying for the spots. No guarantees...though of course, if you're aiming for a particular spot, it helps if you have an "in" somewhere in that department. Then the department manager has a name to ask for when they submit the posting to HR.<br />
<br />
We have a new grad coming our way next month. Their "in" was that they were a per-diem CNA/tech for us. And now they're a nurse for us.<br />
<br />
We're actually doing pretty well in the new grad front. We've had quite a few of them over the last couple of years, and so far almost all of them have stuck around. It's nice to see that there's new nurses who are really interested in psych, and not just using it as a way-station to get their golden first year of experience before moving on to another specialty.Meriwhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14031030238818079477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2389376489214884748.post-26149971646388682832018-11-26T19:29:00.001-08:002018-11-26T19:34:25.068-08:00In which Meriwhen cries at workI've only gone misty at work a few times in my career.<br />
<br />
First time was as a new grad. The powers that be decided I should be in charge of the ICU that day. Well, I had never been in charge of the ICU--it wasn't even my home unit. Up until that point, I was primarily a detox nurse. And it was a day full of discharges, court hearings, and everything administrative. I can deal with psychotic patients until the cows come home, but administrative stuff and court hearings...yeah, not yet familiar territory. My other nurse (we were short, so there were only two of us) was also a float. She was also a LVN so what she could do to help me was limited in scope.<br />
<br />
I did my best to make a go of it, but after an hour and a half, I was so overwhelmed, I had to call the DON for reinforcements. She was able to get the supervisor down there, as well as one of the regular ICU nurses to come in on his day off and help me out. God bless him. He helped me get through the shift and gave me a crash course in all the legal ins and outs. He remains a good friend to this day. We both have the same taste in firearms.<br />
<br />
I managed to keep the water works in until after the shift, when I went by the DON's office. She invited me to stop by to see how I was. I got there, sat down, and promptly started bawling. <br />
<br />
The second time was many years later, on the first Father's Day after my father died. I went to work four days after he passed and didn't cry. I didn't cry for a long time. But that first Father's Day...I was on the open unit, so fortunately I got to be alone in my misery. Patients slept all night and it was so slow that my partner was chatting with some other nurses. I sat in the corner with a COW (computer on wheels), quietly, with the tears streaming down my face. I think that was the first time I had cried since he died. <br />
<br />
I haven't really cried for him since...I do get misty at times, especially on my birthday. But brief tears since my father would have never liked to see me get upset on my birthday, especially about him. And I've never really cried over him since...but I know he understands.<br />
<br />
Third time was due to stress over my mother. I love my mother but she can drive me to tears. I don't remember exactly what it was that got me upset, but with my mother, it could be lots of things. And while my crying wasn't outright hysterics, it was enough to get people worried.<br />
<br />
Which brings us to the fourth time, today. <br />
<br />
I generally have a good relationship with my coworkers, especially the ones I work with the most often. You need to have it, it's part of surviving. But work has been very stressful as of late--unfortunately things have happened and I can't go into details. It's getting to a lot of us. At least, it's getting to me and a few who have confided in me. We're doing our best to support each other in this. Anyhow, one of my coworkers--normally a decent guy--has been acting kind of like a jerk lately. He said something to me and it actually hurt. I asked for help with something and I got this instead. I'm not entirely sure if it was meant as a joke--I'm kind of thinking/hoping that it was, but it still hurt nonetheless.<br />
<br />
I know, Meriwhen, sensitive? Not usually. But like I said, things have been stressful lately. So the remark got to me more than I'd like to have. I didn't quite know what to say, or even if I wanted to say anything about it, so I have just been keeping my distance from said coworker. Not really talking to him other than what I had to say while I thought it over.<br />
<br />
I did end up talking about it with another coworker--the topic just kind of came up. He was also there and heard the remark, and agreed that it was rather insensitive, especially since I never ask for help (and yes, I'm working on improving that) and didn't get why the coworker said it, even if it was supposed to be a joke. He's also been a bit frustrated with this first coworker as of late. We both concluded that he (first coworker) probably hasn't even noticed that he upset me and so it might be pointless to even bring it up, just to let it pass.<br />
<br />
So while an apology might be nice, my second coworker has a point. As far as remarks go, yes, it hurt...it wasn't the worst thing I've ever had anything ever said to me. Still, it was nice to know that perhaps it just wasn't me being overly sensitive. <br />
<br />
But now, the first coworker for some reason is now not really talking to me. We have somehow entered a cold war...maybe. Or maybe not. I haven't asked him.<br />
<br />
It hasn't impaired our working together, but it was tense. And got tenser as the night wore on.<br />
<br />
Finally, towards, the end of the shift, I couldn't take the tension anymore and started crying in front of three psychotic patients. Two of them--long-term patients--were very concerned about me. The third said he would get us an apartment to live in together and buy me a sports car.<br />
<br />
Uh, no, thank you.<br />
<br />
I excused myself and left the floor. I'm a firm believer in presenting a united front when it comes to patients, and any issues among staff is not patient business.<br />
<br />
A third coworker (I have to number them now so you're not confused) found me and consoled me. I didn't really say why I was upset. I'm not sure if anyone else knew I was upset because I did have the waterworks under decent control. Others including the first coworker were going past us in the nurses' station, so maybe they noticed. Or possibly not. No one else said anything, and I was too upset to care who saw at this point.<br />
<br />
I pretty much ran out of Dodge after that.<br />
<br />
And that, ladies and gentlemen, was the fourth time I ever cried at work. I'm sure they'll be a fifth, but hopefully not for a long time.<br />
<br />
As far as the first coworker...I don't know what to do about that situation. It's inevitable that we will be working together again. He really is a good guy and I genuinely enjoy working with him. I'd like to think that his remark was a poor joke made at a horrible time, and which I for some reason am having a hard time getting over. Things are stressful at work for all of us, and the holidays are just going to make it worse. And December is a horrible enough month for me as it is. Maybe it may just be better for me to let it go and try to get out relationship back to normal. If he asks about it, I'll tell him how I felt. Though I don't think he will. I think it's just like my second coworker and I think: he probably hasn't noticed anything was/is wrong. <br />
<br />
Though I'll be honest: part of me never wants to ask him for help with anything again if I can help it, in case it wasn't a joke.Meriwhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14031030238818079477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2389376489214884748.post-73231108586057279162018-11-14T14:02:00.001-08:002018-11-14T14:02:51.249-08:00The half-marathon went well. No PR, but I wasn't last either. It was my first time on the course and I enjoyed it so much that I'm signing up for next year's race as soon as they post it.<br />
<br />
The registry (a.k.a. Job #2) called to see if I was working and whether I was interested in picking up work with them again. It's nice to know I'm still thought of well by them...but between work and graduate school, I don't really have the time to spare for a registry position. So I'm going to decline but ask them to keep in touch. It never hurts to have contacts wherever you can.Meriwhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14031030238818079477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2389376489214884748.post-25395349426405200142018-11-10T07:05:00.000-08:002018-11-10T07:05:22.677-08:00A few of my coworkers asked me if I was going to go for that administrative position. I didn't directly answer (at the time, it was not yet posted), but stated that it would be nice to have someone consistently there for those of us on nights and that if it had to be me to deliver that consistency, then so be it. It was nice to hear that I still have the vote of confidence from some of my peers if I had decided to pursue it. But as I mentioned, it's already off the table of consideration due to its hours.<br />
<br />
In other news...the other half's father passed away this spring. I don't thing I had mentioned it here because it blindsided us. He went into hospital for a lung issue that turned into a cardiac issue that turned into a ICU stay that turned into the end. The reason we were blindsided was that he and other half's mom didn't want us to know how bad things really were. So whenever we spoke to his mom, she made it sound like things were better than they actually were. Then one day his mom calls and says, "oh, your dad passed away." No preamble. Just boom. Said it as though she was discussing the day's random activities.<br />
<br />
Side note: she's also a psychiatric nurse, which is probably why she had such great emotional control when talking to us.<br />
<br />
In a way, I can't fault her. The other half has never been good with anything medical, so much so that even I no longer disclose any of my own medical issues to him unless I'm certain I have to. He'd spazz endlessly with worry over every single little thing. So the family tells him only when he really needs to know.<br />
<br />
But at the same time, if his mom knew that his dad was likely not going to make it, she should have been honest about that part so other half would have had a chance to say goodbye to him. At least I had that chance with my dad. Other half never got that chance. Neither did I.<br />
<br />
I do miss my other half dad. He was a good guy and you could always count on him for a bad pun. And he considered me the daughter he never had.<br />
<br />
Tomorrow is his birthday, which happens to be the same day as the half-marathon I am <s>running</s> walking. I was going to wear my one of my usual running shirts (turtles or sorority runners) but found one that he'd love. It has this printed on it:<br />
<br />
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<br />
Which is totally something my other dad would say to me as I'm slogging along.Meriwhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14031030238818079477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2389376489214884748.post-13767927314885242912018-11-08T08:02:00.002-08:002018-11-08T08:02:50.289-08:00I have a half-marathon this Sunday. I already lost the requisite toenail and the race hasn't even started!<br />
<br />
Seriously...I must have somehow injured my toe. When I went to apply varnish (I always keep the toes manicured. I can't keep my fingernails from breaking to save my life), toe #2 on the right decided that it didn't need the toenail anymore. And this injury must have occurred quite a while ago, because the next toenail was already halfway grown out. How I didn't notice this is beyond me.Meriwhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14031030238818079477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2389376489214884748.post-31154104504309385262018-11-07T14:13:00.000-08:002018-11-07T14:13:04.593-08:00Administrative moot pointThey did post that administrative position...for evenings. I have no intention of leaving nights. Therefore, I shan't be applying. <br />
<br />
It shall be interesting to see if we'll have an internal candidate or if someone will come from the outside.<br />
<br />
So all that musing I did the other day was a moot point...well, if I think about it, it really wasn't a moot point. It made me think about whether I really did want to cross over into the realm of administration (answer: still not 100% sure I do). It also gave me some food for thought for the future, especially when I graduate with my MSN and decide what my next steps in life will be...both the immediate steps and those in the long game. I've been thinking in terms of a ten-year plan as of late. I'll have my MSN in two years, and I'm starting to formulate a picture of where I want to be eight years after that. You'll have to forgive me if I choose to keep a lot of these cards close to my vest for now. There's going to be a lot of hands played in this card game anyway.<br />
<br />
I will still send my resume and cover letter template to the WGU career center to get them cleaned up and at the ready. While I love what I do and where I work and don't have any intention of leaving any time soon, it's always a good idea to have a resume and basic cover at the ready should the perfect career opportunity ever cross my path.Meriwhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14031030238818079477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2389376489214884748.post-55022963762516113352018-11-05T04:19:00.001-08:002018-11-05T04:19:33.619-08:00Administrative randomnessI finished Nursing Informatics. It was like pulling teeth, but I did it. I'm now on the final course of the term: Nursing Leadership. My term ends December 31, but I'm planning to have this course wrapped up by December 10 so I can enjoy the holidays without the spectre of a performance assessment looming over me.<br />
<br />
After Informatics, Leadership is a refreshing change of pace. It's also arriving at an interesting time.<br />
<br />There's been some managerial turnover here. Nothing horrible: people moving on to bigger and better things. There is a possibility of an administrative position opening up, not immediately, but probably within a few weeks or so. It would be the same position that I had considered applying for in the past but declined. <br />
<br />This time around, I think I would seriously consider applying for it. Well, first of all, it would have to be a NOC position. If it's not NOC, it's not even in the realm of possibility. And in all honesty, the odds are it won't be a NOC position. But there's a chance it could be, and given that I happen to be taking Nursing Leadership, let me entertain such chance.<br />
<br />
I've been weighing the pros and cons of going to administration. <br />
<br />
Pro: consistency. We can't seem to keep a consistent admin around on nights and we are pretty much left to fend for ourselves. We do have an advanced nurse who we pretty much consider our unofficial leader--so much so that if she had decided to apply for said position, I'd immediately withdraw and throw my support behind her. We were promised some occasional visits from management during the night and they lasted...for a while. Then they disappeared. I don't know if they didn't think we'd notice...I did and actually mentioned it to someone.<br />
<br />
So yeah, having someone from admin consistently around would be nice. And if it's got to be me to get that consistency, fine.<br />
<br />
Pro: career advancement. It's more solid administrative/management experience.<br />
<br />
Con: pay cut, a drastic one at that. Like $10-20/hr. Being the main breadwinner at home, finances are very important in the equation. I'm not out to make bank, but I do need to make enough to keep the status quo. <br />
<br />
Con: schedule change. I like my current schedule. Not only will I lose it, I'll have to add on an extra day. <br />
<br />
Pro: support of my coworkers. Most of them thought I should have applied the first time around...a few thought I had. So at least they're not opposed to seeing me in this position.<br />
<br />
Con: relationship shift. It's going to go from me and coworkers to me supervising coworkers. The dynamic will change...it has to change by nature. I have good relationships with my coworkers--as far as I know, none want to kill me--but would those relationships survive the change?<br />
<br />
Con: less time on the floor. More time as charge nurse. I like the floor. I like direct patient care.<br />
<br />
Pro: opportunity for personal and professional growth as I go out of my comfort zone.<br />
<br />
Con: having to interview. Fear of being rejected and not getting the job.<br />
<br />
I'm sure I'll think of more.<br />
<br />
Anyhow, it's not as simple as counting the number of each, seeing which side wins and then deciding based on that. There's a lot more depth to the decision than that.<br />
<br />
Of course, this position might not get posted at all, or not be posted for nights, and then it's all a moot point.<br />
<br />
I've decided to keep my own counsel on this and not mention it to anyone at work until necessary. I may need to ask someone to be a reference. I will definitely take advantage of WGU's career center to get the resume and cover letter polished up. Meriwhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14031030238818079477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2389376489214884748.post-29184651877891914312018-10-02T14:55:00.002-07:002018-10-02T14:55:37.798-07:00Did I mention I hate Nursing Informatics?I find it odd that I hate informatics, given that I have over three decades of experience with computers and not just in using them to type papers and play games. You'd think it'd be a great fit for me: nursing and computers. But I thoroughly dislike this class. <br />
<br />
I guess that's why I've been dragging my feet on it. I finally submitted the first of two performance assessments...submitted it 20 minutes ago. The second performance assessment is more presentation than paper, which will be a refreshing change. It's still informatics though.<br />
<br />
I look at the online WGU support groups and see people stating they
blew through this class in a week or two, and I can't wrap my head
around that. <br />
<br />
Oh well. I have to remember that I'm not competing against anyone but myself.<br />
<br />
If I keep to my schedule, I have until the middle of this month to finish the second performance assessment and call it a day on the class. That will then leave me with one class (Leadership) which I plan to finish by December. Then my course load for the term will be completed and I'll have December off. My program mentor asked if I'd consider moving a class up from next term, but I've got too much going on in December and I'd rather spend the time not having to juggle schoolwork around everything else.<br />
<br />Meriwhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14031030238818079477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2389376489214884748.post-84869613520654275682018-09-05T14:08:00.000-07:002018-09-05T14:09:01.799-07:00StuffI finished Research. It turned out that I aced this one...it came back with a nearly perfect score. It'd be nice if WGU thought it merited an excellence award, but I guess it'd have to have a perfect score to get that.<br />
<br />
I got a few recruiting pitches. The most notable one was from ICE...yes, that ICE. Apparently psychiatric nurses can have flourishing careers in Immigration and Customs Enforcement. And apparently they saw me on LinkedIn and thought I was a good candidate. I'm going to guess that they saw the last name and figured I was likely fluent in Spanish. I'm working on it. And Russian.<br />
<br />
Yes, Russian.<br />
<br />
I had always wanted to learn it as a kid and even got some sort of course to start with. But it was no Rosetta Stone and didn't really make it stick. I decided to take advantage of a summer sale to add on Rosetta Stone Russian online. I work on Spanish classes during my lunch breaks. I started working on Russian classes when I'm on the treadmill. As far as practice goes, surprisingly there is a sizable Russian/Ukrainian community in my town. <br />
<br />
Anyhow, back to the recruiting pitch...I admit, I was intrigued. ICE? Me? Meriwhen in a green and white car? It would coordinate with my blog's theme. <br />
<br />
Ah, no, not now. I'm not planning to leave my current gig any time soon, as it took me so long to land it in the first place.<br />
<br />
I went on a short holiday. I brought my laptop with every intention of opening it up to do schoolwork, but I opened it up to look up local attractions and indulge in some late-night Minecraft. So I technically didn't begin my next course--Informatics--until this past Monday. <br />
<br />
I'm now about a week and a half behind my arbitrary deadlines, but
that's OK. My first program mentor had set the dates up so I'd finish
in mid-November, leaving me with 6 free weeks. I opened up my iCal and
plugged in the actual dates, and made a few adjustments. My adjustments
have me finishing in mid-December...on my birthday, actually.<br />
<br />
So, for Informatics...<br />
<br />
For this class, they recommend taking part in as many of the live cohorts as possible. I threw myself right into the first live cohort, and the second will be today. My schedule won't let me hit every cohort, but I can hit two a week.<br />
<br />
I went to the first one, which was taught by my assigned course instructor. So she's going on about the course and mentions an informatics scenario that sounds suspiciously like it occurred in a psych setting. I could relate. So she continues on and it turns out she IS a psych nurse. Well, she's in Informatics now, but she's a psych nurse at heart and loves it.<br />
<br />
It was all I could do to keep from squealing. A fellow comrade from the dark side!<br />
<br />
The course being Informatics, she couldn't talk psych nursing for long. But I must speak with this instructor more. Since I'm planning to approach the performance assessments from a psych perspective, she will be a valuable asset. Speaking of which, this course has two performance assessments independent of each other, and I get to use PowerPoint for one of them. Should be fun.Meriwhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14031030238818079477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2389376489214884748.post-3446830469292124282018-08-29T23:17:00.002-07:002018-08-29T23:20:25.427-07:00I'm sick of Translational ResearchDon't get me wrong: I loved the content of the course. I'm just sick of working on this performance assessment for the last two weeks. I'm already 4 days behind my arbitrary deadline. Tomorrow will be day 5, but it WILL be the <u>final</u> day of this course as I plan to submit my performance assessment before lunch. I already did the Turnitin check (6%, well below the guidelines). I have a last review of it with the Writing Center, then I'll give it a final once-over, and then this toast is toasted.<br />
<br />
Today was the weekly check-in with Belle. I'm strongly suspecting that she's got a strong psych background, if she's not actually a psych nurse. We spent 5 minutes discussing my weekly progress and 10 minutes discussing adventures in psych nursing. And she was excited to discus psych as well.<br />
<br />
Someone who understands my life! This pleases me.<br />
<br />
I also came to the realization that I REALLY do need those arbitrary deadlines. Don't get me wrong, the self-pacing of the WGU program is great. But I realized today when I was on the 7th draft on my project that, as I told Belle, I could continue to revise this thing until the cows come home. Instead, I need to work up to the deadline, submit it, and move on to the next course. If my performance assessment truly blows, they'll send it back for revision.<br />
<br />
I realize that may sound confusing to fellow students, and it confuses the hell out of me to. To revisions/revising in WGU lingo typically means that your performance assessment was kicked back because part/all of it didn't meet the rubric standards. Whereas in my lingo, revisions/revising means to edit yet another draft. The previous paragraph makes it seem like my performance assessment failed 6 times already.<br />
<br />
Moving to non-graduate school topics...<br />
<br />
I went to the Cheesecake Factory today. The menu is rather scary...well, not so much the food as the calorie counts listed next to the food. There was very little in that main menu book that wasn't in the quadruple digits, and a few of those digits even started with 2. But since I was there last time (which was probably 2012 or 2013), they have introduced an additional menu of lighter-calorie fare. In this new menu, I'm pretty sure that no one item exceeded 1,000 calories.<br />
<br />
I recommend the White Chicken Chili, by the way. Excellent flavor with a nice spicy kick. The Chicken Samosas are good too. I had both and still kept the total calories in the triple digits.<br />
<br />
I do regret having the Cinnabon Cheesecake though. Which, by the way, is not on their new menu as it's about 1300 calories. But when one is at the Cheesecake Factory, one has to have the cheesecake. Otherwise, why go to a place named the Cheesecake Factory? Anyhow, I thought that since I've been able to eat cheese with no issue as of late, that perhaps I was able to tolerate dairy again. Alas, that was not the case...though it was a very tasty way to put myself in agony. But next time I go back there, I think I'll have to settle for the bowl of strawberries instead.Meriwhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14031030238818079477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2389376489214884748.post-48178436297931966942018-08-23T09:20:00.001-07:002018-08-23T09:20:16.214-07:00A new chapterSo I "met" my new program mentor yesterday. I introduced myself as "the psychiatric nurse that you're inheriting from Baby Nurse." She laughed and said "you and I are going to get along just fine!"<br />
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She has a Southern accent that could cut glass. I lived in the South for more than a decade, so I understand almost all dialects of Southern...except mountain North Carolinian. I understand Welsh better than the mountain North Carolinian accent. So I shall refer to her as Belle.<br />
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I introduced myself, we chatted...she was excited that I enjoyed psych. She asked me about why I chose education over NP. I told her it's because I wanted to do more than just prescribe medications. She stated that she didn't pursue Psych NP for the same reason. I told her that I wanted to have a more interactive role with others, and that I've always enjoyed mentoring and nurturing others. She felt the same way.<br />
<br />I never asked what area(s) she specialized in...but could it be my mentor IS a psych nurse? <br />
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If so, that would be awesome! I often don't meet others of my kind in school except for those who are teaching a psychiatric nursing course.<br />
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So things got off to a good start between us. I have a feeling we're going to have a great relationship.<br />
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I talked to Belle and told her that I needed to push my arbitrary course deadline back to August 31 (it was originally August 25) due to being sidelined with a double ear infection and then an allergic reaction to antibiotics. She said "oh, bless your heart" and understood why. So my new deadline is now August 31. That gave me some of my motivation back, so instead of feeling like I was up against the gun, I had a decent amount of time to produce a decent performance assessment.<br />
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Southern lingo note: the meaning of "bless your heart" is very dependent on the context it's used in. In this case, it was sympathy. <br />
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Speaking of allergic reactions...I hauled myself to the doctor to get it checked out. Surprisingly, I was able to get a same day appointment with my regular PCP. She looked at it, said it was possibly an allergy though questionable if its a true allergy (a localized rash, instead of generalized hives that I experience with the other antibiotics I'm allergic to). So she marked it as an allergy with a note about whether it's a true one. She also counseled me that if it came down to me taking the antibiotic, to go ahead and take it. I agreed.<br />
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She said I was treating the rash correctly and that it should go away in a couple of days. Sure enough, today it is gone except for some remnants of redness. Meriwhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14031030238818079477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2389376489214884748.post-3416337815954410612018-08-18T09:39:00.001-07:002018-11-26T19:35:16.906-08:00In which Meriwhen has little motivation and an allergic reaction to antibioticsFor the last week, my motivation for doing schoolwork has been...well, not at zero. If my motivation were measured with a speedometer and 60mph was going full throttle, I'm about at 15mph. Small progress but not enough. Baby Nurse--who as of this week is no longer my mentor--told me that baby steps were still steps. And she is right, though I don't think I will be able to finish this course by the arbitrary deadline of 8/25. Closer to 8/31.<br />
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For various reasons, I just can't pick myself up to get fully going. Work has been busy, I've been sick and sleeping a lot, the weather is too damn hot...anyhow, I knew this was a risk with WGU. And I need to nip it in the bud. I can't let myself run this course into September. I REFUSE TO.<br />
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So I set up some Writing Center appointments for drafts and the final. That way, I have commitments I can't break.<br />
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Baby Nurse has decided to take a position teaching in a brick-and-mortar school. She was an awesome program mentor and I wish her well in her new position. She has handed me over to her successor who she said she likes a lot and feels will take good care of me. I have not yet met her, my first appointment with her is next week. I wonder if she's a psych nurse...probably not. There seems to be so few of us running around these programs.<br />
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The sick and the sleeping...double ear infection. Whee. I waited three days to see if it would pass, then hauled myself to the doctor. He looked at my history, reviewed my allergies, and started me on azithromycin and decongestants. The medications worked, and I was feeling fine within a few days.<br />
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Then a couple of days after the last dose of antibiotic, a rash appeared on my neck. I wasn't alarmed at first: for some reason, the skin on my neck is very sensitive compared to the rest of me, and it's not uncommon for me to have areas of redness there. But then the rash got bumpy. And then spread up the sides of my face. Almost like a bad hormonal acne breakout. The current state of it is that my neck is less bumpy but still red, while most of the bumps have taken up shop on my cheekbones.<br />
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Now, I should have caught this: the -mycin. I'm allergic to clindamycin. Not life-threatening allergic, more like here's-a-lovely-rash-that-won't-die-for-two-weeks allergic. The doctor was aware of it too. I guess he figured that azithromycin wasn't likely to cause a reaction. I thought as much too, and I really needed the ear infections out of there. Well, we were both wrong. The last time I saw a rash like this was when I was on clindamycin. Same exact thing.<br />
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The good news is that it does go away. The bad news is that it takes two weeks. The worse news is that I have a social event to go to tonight and I refuse to miss it.<br />
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My going to Urgent Care is not an option as 1. the rash is more cosmetically unpleasing than life-threatening and 2. I'll end up spending hours there, hours that could have been spent doing schoolwork and relaxing before this event. So I'm doing a little home treatment. oral antihistamines (Vistaril), and topical hydrocortisone and salicylic acid creams. I'm otherwise leaving it alone. Time really is the only cure for it.<br />
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Getting excessively harsh with my skin will not clear it up any faster--if anything, it will exacerbate the problem and make it impossible to conceal with makeup. I do have an arsenal of foundations, so I know I can conceal it for the most part. I have the perfect one to use: Tarte Amazonian Clay 12-Hour Foundation. I strongly recommend this foundation if you have things to hide and want to keep them hidden most of the night.<br />
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I can't hide it 100%, but with good foundation, a red dress and a strong lip color, I could perhaps distract from it.Meriwhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14031030238818079477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2389376489214884748.post-88381976782310502992018-08-02T12:44:00.002-07:002018-08-02T12:44:21.207-07:00One class down. Many more to go.I passed my first WGU class. It took three days for the performance assessment to be reviewed and graded. I was able to watch it progress through the queue though, so I knew the delay was not because they didn't get it, but because there were 300+ submissions in front of me. <br />
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During those three days, I had quite the weekend at work. I'm thoroughly convinced the recent full/blood moon had a lot to do with it.<br />
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I got the notice that the assessment passed on Monday. Some areas of my performance assessment met expectations (score 3 out of 4) while others exceeded expectations (score 4 out of 4). I admit, I was hoping for more 4s. <br />
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Overall, the assessment's score was met expectations, or a 3. Which I suppose is on par with a B. I also admit I was hoping it overall exceeded expectations, or a 4. Or an A. But even it were a 4, the course would still appear as "Pass" on my transcript and my GPA would still be a 3.0. <br />
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This "no-GPA" is still taking some getting used to.<br />
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Overall, I'm glad to put this first class behind me. The assessment was very introspective which, while it did come up with valuable insights, always feels weird for me to do because I feel like they're looking for a certain answer in these courses. No matter what program I took this type of course in, it always feels like The Powers That Be are looking for a certain answer. Like my goals in the next 10 years always have to be something lofty like becoming a NP or nurse executive. <br />
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To be honest, I don't know what I'll be doing in 10 years. I'm still not 100% sure I want to do Education. I'm 95% sure. The other 5% of the time, I wonder if it would serve me better to do Leadership or Informatics...I mean, I could still teach with either one of those concentrations. But I have time to change my mind if I want. The courses for all the MSN programs are the same for at least the first two terms. <br />
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I had to take a few days off before I started the next class, partly due to the high patient acuity at work and partially because I needed a mini-break from school. I admit, I like this about WGU--I can pace myself. The arbitrary start date for this next class was 7/29. But as long as I finish these four classes by 12/31, it doesn't matter if I start the second class on the 29th or the 1st or the 15th. <br />
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Now, it's Translational Research, which I started yesterday. I like research classes. I even like doing the research for the research studies. This course, I decided to use their 21-and-Done schedule. So far, I'm keeping pace. I had a productive appointment with my course instructor and narrowed down the topic for my performance assessment to a couple of contenders. I'm going to see which topic pulls up more research studies and would be more doable. <br />
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Oh yes, I also learned I did win one of the WGU scholarships...the one for nurses, actually. Fitting.Meriwhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14031030238818079477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2389376489214884748.post-19588939124394673692018-07-27T03:24:00.000-07:002018-07-27T03:27:14.526-07:00As I wrap up my first MSN class at WGU, here are some things that I have learnedAttend the class cohort. They have the slides saved and available in case you can't, but going to a live one is far better as they mention things that are not on the slides.<br />
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Attend the MSN welcome cohort. Again, slides saved if you need it...and again, attending live is far better.<br />
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Attend other cohorts as needed, as they have valuable information. I have a date with the Writing Center one this weekend.<br />
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Make an appointment with your Course Instructor early on in the course to say How-Do and ask any questions you have. The first performance assessment seemed very intimidating, but after I spoke to the CI, I was able to clear things up and feel somewhat less intimidated.<br />
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They're very strict about APA. You will feel like an inept fool who has never used APA before. You will be paranoid about incorrect APA. You will be paranoid about paraphrasing. You will have nightmares about in-text citations and only putting one space after a period instead of the usual two. Even if you were an APA master in another program, you will still feel most if not all of this. I feel much better after that Writing Center appointment though. <br />
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Speaking of which, make appointments with the Writing Center early, at least a week before you plan to submit an assessment. I fortunately did make my appointment early. I'm glad I did because when I went to reschedule it for a day later (I still hadn't finished my draft), they were booked solid through August 1. I tell you, as soon as I start the next cohort, I'm figuring out when my assessment is due and immediately scheduling that Writing Center appointment.<br />
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Word's "Find and Replace" is a fast way to correct that "only one space after a period and not two" problem.<br />
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Email instructors and the Writing Center as needed. They will get back to you fast. Really fast. Take advantage of this.<br />
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WGU loves the Oxford comma. I love the Oxford comma. Finally, a kindred spirit!<br />
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And finally, don't forget to use Turnitin to check your work before submitting any assessments, as they are very strict about plagiarism as well as what percentage of work can be directly taken from other sources even if cited correctly. The goal is 30%. Under 15% and you're doing great. Under 5%, you either didn't use any other sources or you are at paraphrasing skill level: ninja.<br />
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Anyhow...I'm finishing up this first assessment to get it submitted by the weekend. Then it's right onto the next class, which I can't recall off the top of my head, but I think it has to do with research. No rest for me, alas.Meriwhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14031030238818079477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2389376489214884748.post-59335027984244299642018-07-19T12:08:00.000-07:002018-07-19T12:08:34.797-07:00Another weekly call with Baby Nurse. She told me that I'm on the few nurses she has who isn't burning to rush through the program as fast as possible. I responded that my circumstances at this time did not require me to rush and that I could enjoy the ride.<br />
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So, all the reading is done. I started working on the performance assessment. I'm glad I went with PERRLA, at the least the online version: it lets me save my paper so I can work on it anywhere. Which is nice as I have a Mac at home but work is strictly a Windows clique.<br />
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I had some questions about this assessment, so I booked a telephone appointment with my course instructor for this morning. She's a pediatric nurse, so Peds Nurse she is. I seem to be attracting all of the nurses for the under-18 crowd, which is funny given that this was the one specialty I could never do.<br />
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So Peds Nurse answered the questions, and therefore there is now no reason why I can't get started. My arbitrary deadline for the assessment is July 28, so that leaves me with 9 days. Except that I'm feeling tired today and really need to get some sleep...<br />
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I can't let that be an excuse though.Meriwhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14031030238818079477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2389376489214884748.post-79887357178175092212018-07-15T20:18:00.001-07:002018-07-15T20:18:45.228-07:00Three hours of sleep...and maybe not even that. That's all I'm running on for work tonight. So I'm firing up the coffee pot and starting the IV. Oh well. It looks like I'll be working with a couple of my favorite nurses, so it'll be all right. A great team can make up for a lot of things, lack of sleep included.<br />
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I'm almost done with the reading for the first class. I have 92% of the tasks completed. Two more tasks remain, then I have officially covered everything and I can begin the assessment. Well, I could start the assessment at any time, but like I said, I want to get the most out of this experience so--at least for right now--I'm going through everything.<br />
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Graduate school has started me thinking about my career's future. I really like where I work, but I'm not sure there will be a lot of opportunities for a MSN-Ed there (I also feel like there's some new undercurrents developing that I'm not sure about, but that's another story). But anyway, I would like to stay at my current facility and if that's not possible, there may be opportunities for a MSN-Ed in one of the other hospitals in the organization's chain. If not, I may have to look elsewhere.<br />
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Fortunately, in the several years I've been living in the area, I have at least one contact in almost every psych healthcare facility in town. While that doesn't guarantee me a quick new job, at least I have people who can do recon for me and, should it come to job application time, provide a reference. And we could always relocate out of state...though that's not on my want-to-do list in the foreseeable future. That was part of the plan of going to education full-time later on in life.<br />
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Of course, who's to say a nursing program won't pick me up after I graduate? Though I had planned to be a full-time educator later on, after I've been worn out at the bedside, I could always go full-time educator sooner than planned and continue being at the bedside part-time/PRN. But that's at least 1.5-2 years off.<br />
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While I'm thinking about the future, I'm trying not to obsess over it too much. I've been trying to practice the mindfulness I've been learning about, to stay in the present and be aware of what's going on around me right here and now. No easy task given my anxiety issues and predilection to stressing out.Meriwhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14031030238818079477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2389376489214884748.post-26555922705167894472018-07-12T11:12:00.000-07:002018-07-12T11:12:06.284-07:00Oh wellI wasn't selected for one of the scholarships at work. I received my rejection letter today. <br />
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I admit that I'm bummed because I thought I had a really good chance at it. I worked hard, sent it in for revisions, seriously considered and where applicable incorporated the feedback from one of the review committee members. I'm going to presume that my manager spoke well of me when she sent in the recommendation form. So I was rather optimistic that I might get one. <br />
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But as I've posted on the nursing forum, if there's only 5 slots but 25 equally qualified applicants, 20 of them will still have to leave empty-handed. I can only guess (hope?) that I was one of those 20 that would also have had a scholarship had there been 25 to give.<br />
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In reality, I don't know how many scholarships were up for grabs...I'll know soon enough when they announce the recipients.<br />
<br />There is always next year's scholarships, though next year, I'll use a different person for the managerial reference. Just in case.<br />
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Though I have to remind myself that even with this loss, I'm still rather ahead of the game in terms of finances. My tuition reimbursement should cover nearly half of the tuition costs. I'm still holding out hope for a WGU scholarship which would only be a few hundred each term, but it's still something. And thanks to planning and creative budgeting, I am 99.9% certain that I will not have to take out any student loans. I'll be graduating without any debt. <br />
<br />Going to mope about this for a little bit, and then get back to studying.Meriwhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14031030238818079477noreply@blogger.com