So I got into NP school...

It's clear from the subject of this post that I got into the NP program. But let me explain the adventure it was.

I'm keeping my plans on the QT at work. Only a few people know, mostly because I had to ask them for letters of recommendation. Plus, anyone that had ever managed to figure out my AN identity and who reads this will now know. The Powers That Be don't know yet, and they won't know until I file my first tuition reimbursement request come winter. 

I'm hoping to keep it that way, but it is a small workplace, and news has a way of getting out...if asked, I'm going to stick with my "neither confirm nor deny" line. Though considering I found that at least two coworkers will be in the same program, one possibly in my specific cohort, I'll have a hard time using that line if and when we're on campus together.  

The first fun part was rounding up several schools' transcripts. This is what happens when you go BA to ADN to BSN take 1 to BSN take 2 to MSN, with a side stop at a tiny community college for just for one class because that was an important class you needed, and you happened to be living there at the time. 

The good news is that due to COVID, official electronic submissions were acceptable, so that would save a lot of time. The bad news is that the NP school itself was so backlogged with stuff that it took forever to get to them. Then there was the fact that two of my schools were in Texas, which had suddenly been quick-frozen by that cold snap. They had more important things to deal with than my transcript requests. But they eventually got them out, and the NP school finally got around to evaluating them.

Second...the three Ps. Every MSN program has the three Ps: Advanced Pathophysiology, Advanced Pharmacology, and Advanced Physical Assessment. I had hoped to use the classes I took at WGU to opt-out to repeat them in the NP program. Alas, the application review board has deemed that the WGU version of the classes is not equivalent. Ironically, the assessment class was the one that I won two Excellence Awards in. It would have been nice if I could have opted out of at least that one. But no, not meant to be.

The NP school advisor then suggested I try placing out of the 3Ps by applying as an APRN. Alas, again, I am not one, so I declined.

This sucks, as placing out of the 3 Ps would have been 15 credits of work and tuition saved. But it is what it is. And to be honest, I think I could use a more thorough review of all three courses than I got at WGU. While the competency-based learning was nice, it was also a lot of DIY, and in these courses, not really a lot of content taught to us. On a related note: if you plan to go to NP/DNP school after your MSN, you may want to rethink going to WGU for that MSN. I enjoyed my WGU experience and don't regret doing it. But at the time, I also had no plans whatsoever about pursuing the NP. If I could have foreseen my considering NP school three years ago, I would have made different plans in 2018. But I can't unring the bell.

Getting everything else submitted was a piece of cake. 

I admit I was nervous about not getting in, especially with them turning down the 3Ps--would they also not be happy with WGU's pass/fail system? So it was a relief to get the acceptance letter. I'm in the post-grad program, but I'm going to be going along with the regular MSN students who have to take the 3Ps. One of the coworkers mentioned above will be in that startup, and I supposedly join them in July. It's a little bit of a weird situation, but then again, things with me usually are.

Now it's time for all the "pending" stuff. You know, "admitted to the program pending a background check, drug screen, immunizations, etc." I have two weeks to get all of this done before my Zoom orientation, which happens to be tomorrow.

Hurdle #1: physical exam. Video visit won't cut it. The earliest appointment is next month. Fortunately, the NP program is OK with this.

Hurdle #2: immunization records. I send an ROI to my providers' records department and am told it will take 15 BUSINESS days to get them. Oy. Fortunately, the NP program is OK with this too. Fortunately, again, COVID vaccination is not required.

For the record, I am NOT an anti-vaxxer. I am very much in favor of vaccines. But because of my health conditions, I merely prefer the vaccines I receive to be thoroughly road-tested and have full FDA approval before I get them. 

Hurdle #3: drug test. This one is always fun because of my prescription medications. I'm guaranteed to test positive in one category. Two if I use the PRN anxiety medication. Fortunately (word of the day?), this has not been a problem for me so far. However, I'm always nervous because you never know when an employer/school will get picky.

I look up the lab to see what locations are available for me to get tested at. The closest is 10 miles away.  After that, 25+ miles. OK. 

I try to set up an appointment for the test...and all available appointments are either too close to the cutoff date or afterward. OK.

I expand the search to all sites...same thing. Too close or too late. OK.

I look to see who takes walk-ins. 10 miles does. So I call them to confirm, and their automated system says, "while walk-ins are welcome, appointments are preferred." That means walk-ins are still good. So I drop everything and go.

I get there and wait. And wait. And wait. And wait. I have no idea how long I was there before I was seen. When I'm finally called, the lab tech tells me that she had to see everyone else first because they don't take walk-ins for drug testing.

"Then you may want to update your website and phone message," I reply.

Well...had I bothered to listen past the initial part of the automated message, I would have learned that appointments WERE required for drug screens. My bad. But she was kind enough not to reject me, and I was grateful. I also learned the valuable lesson of listening to the whole message before hanging up the phone.

The test is done...and it took forever to get the results. I started wondering if they had lost my sample...remember, that happened to me once before, in the first BSN program. They were going to bounce me if it wasn't for the fact that I had my chain of custody receipt. Thank God I saved the receipt then, and thank God I saved it again this time. Then I started wondering if, finally, someone had an issue with my test results and if I had to go in armed with my prescriptions and a doctor's note. 

But they finally arrived today, and I'm good to go.

And here I am. I go to my all-day orientation on Zoom tomorrow. I will have to hole up in the bedroom to do this...or I may hole up in the little one's room. Either way, I need to find a place to hole up in for 7 hours.

I'm alive! And a new path...?

 What has it been, more than two years since I last wrote?  Yeah...life has been busy.

To give you the Readers' Digest version of what has happened in my life in the last two years:

• Adopted a puppy...who is no longer a puppy.  It's nice to have a new dog in the house.
• Had to take a break from moderating duties at the forum because graduate school was just too much work.
• Went to Spain to see family. It was my first time ever in Europe.  If I could move to Madrid, I would.
• Was transferred to a new home unit at work.  I was spending so much time on the psych ICU that they finally decided I should officially be assigned there.  So I was, and then the next day, immediately floated back to med-psych.
• Moved to an even smaller town in the mountains.  Smaller house but more land.  I love living in the middle of nowhere.  There's definitely a lot more space, a lot fewer people, a lot more livestock, and a lot more wildlife.
• Went through three advisors in graduate school.  The first was there only a couple of months before she decided to return to a job in the NICU.  The second was awesome!  We were together for most of my time there until she decided to take a job with the state Department of Public Health.  At this point, COVID-19 was still in its infancy, so she had no idea what she was getting into...
• Oh yeah, COVID-19.  Life upended.  Kids home constantly.  At least in my new small mountain town, I could go outside and not have to mask up like I was going to see a TB patient.
• COVID and I became intimately acquainted.  It was the 10-day headache.  Fortunately, the recovery was quick and full.  And fortunately, the family was spared.
• Graduated with my MSN-ED.  Did not leave my current job as it pays too well.  Plus, I never planned to immediately go into education...that's the long game, for when we leave the state and/or I decide to leave the bedside.
• Got through the strangest holiday season.  My mother decided to fly out from the east coast for two months, so every two weeks, she would shuffle between my home and my sister's home.  
• Meanwhile, our governor was busted violating his own health rules, so he threw a hissy fit and closed the state down through the holidays while she was here.  This meant we couldn't do much except go to the parks and the reservation casinos.
• Things started getting back to normal-ish after the holidays.  
• I was offered the COVID vaccine.  I declined it for now.  I'm waiting for the data on its long-term effects and possibly even on the final FDA approval for one of the variants.  Then I'll consider taking it.   Plus, I have bad allergies which make me very hesitant about taking experimental vaccines.

Which all brings me to now...

I received an interesting business proposition...which requires me to be a psychiatric nurse practitioner.  Since I wasn't rushing to go right into education, I decided to think about it.  

I have a MSN, so I'm already part of the way done.  I could afford school without having to take out a loan (though I'd fight like hell to get as many scholarships as I could!). I'd have a set spot for my clinical hours. I'd have a job when I graduated.  And even if the proposition fell through, having the NP would give me more career opportunities, especially if I am planning to leave the state. 

Overall, I think pursuing the NP might be worth it.  

So let's go apply and see what happens.  After all, I'm not committed to anything by applying, right?

No, the thyroid didn't leave. It even invited a friend over.

My birthday was nice.  I did my mourning the day before so I could make the best of the day.  Had a good day at the holiday party with my coworkers, had a good day at home with my family, had a good (sarcasm) time finishing up my performance assessment.  I turned that in the following day and found out yesterday that I passed.  So I am officially done with my first term.  Coming soon:  a post on WGU survival tips and must-haves.

The day after my birthday, I went to my PCP for the follow-up on my blood pressure medication and the investigation into my weight gain.  The new blood pressure medication is working fine.  As far as the weight gain...she agreed to check my thyroid, but she believes that 1700 calories a day may be too much for me.

"Even with being on my feet at work and exercising five days a week?" I ask.

Apparently so.  But she wants me stay at 1500 calories a week for at least two weeks.  If I don't lose some weight in that time (I'm not counting the water weight I'm bound to lose within the next couple of days, thanks to all the Chinese food I had on my birthday), she wants me to go down to 1200.  If that doesn't do it, then 1000.  Even 800 if I had to.

Of course, if I ever had to go below 1200, I'd ask for a referral to a nutritionist first.  No offense, doc, but let's talk to someone who specializes in this.

Labs were done.  My TSH is normal.  But my chloride is 10 points high.  Total protein is a bit low.  Everything else is normal.

Chloride, high?  Odd.

She said she's not worried about it, but I do need to make sure I'm eating enough protein.  Should I do the Atkins diet?

As far as the chloride...I looked it up.  Causes of high chloride include:

• Dehydration (possible)
• Hypernatremia (high blood sodium) (nope, that was normal)
• Cushing syndrome (not likely)
• Kidney disease (kidney-related labs were just fine)
• Metabolic acidosis (nope, those levels were normal)
• Respiratory alkalosis (ditto)

So my best guess is that I need to drink more water.

I'm disappointed yet relieved that my thyroid test came back normal.  Disappointed because hypothyroidism would have explained a hell of a lot of what's been going on with me besides just the weight gain.   Relieved because it's better to have the working thyroid in the long run.

It's going to be tough to keep track of the calories when my mom is here...mostly because I don't want her to know I'm trying to lose weight.  She's always been critical of my weight all my life, even when I wasn't overweight to begin with.  Yeah, I know.  And she tends to believe she knows best about everything...she'll be there, giving me all the diet and exercise advice she has.  Meanwhile, she very overweight, doesn't exercise, and her diet is anything but balanced.  Or she is trying the latest fad diet or quick fix, such as drinking apple cider vinegar in water and expecting it take off 35 lbs. 

Spoiler alert:  it didn't work.

*sigh*

Did I mention I hate Nursing Informatics?

I find it odd that I hate informatics, given that I have over three decades of experience with computers and not just in using them to type papers and play games.  You'd think it'd be a great fit for me:  nursing and computers.  But I thoroughly dislike this class. 

I guess that's why I've been dragging my feet on it.  I finally submitted the first of two performance assessments...submitted it 20 minutes ago.  The second performance assessment is more presentation than paper, which will be a refreshing change.  It's still informatics though.

I look at the online WGU support groups and see people stating they blew through this class in a week or two, and I can't wrap my head around that.

Oh well.  I have to remember that I'm not competing against anyone but myself.

If I keep to my schedule, I have until the middle of this month to finish the second performance assessment and call it a day on the class.  That will then leave me with one class (Leadership) which I plan to finish by December.  Then my course load for the term will be completed and I'll have December off.  My program mentor asked if I'd consider moving a class up from next term, but I've got too much going on in December and I'd rather spend the time not having to juggle schoolwork around everything else.

Stuff

I finished Research.  It turned out that I aced this one...it came back with a nearly perfect score.  It'd be nice if WGU thought it merited an excellence award, but I guess it'd have to have a perfect score to get that.

I got a few recruiting pitches.  The most notable one was from ICE...yes, that ICE.  Apparently psychiatric nurses can have flourishing careers in Immigration and Customs Enforcement.   And apparently they saw me on LinkedIn and thought I was a good candidate.  I'm going to guess that they saw the last name and figured I was likely fluent in Spanish.  I'm working on it.  And Russian.

Yes, Russian.

I had always wanted to learn it as a kid and even got some sort of course to start with.   But it was no Rosetta Stone and didn't really make it stick.  I decided to take advantage of a summer sale to add on Rosetta Stone Russian online.  I work on Spanish classes during my lunch breaks.  I started working on  Russian classes when I'm on the treadmill.  As far as practice goes, surprisingly there is a sizable Russian/Ukrainian community in my town. 

Anyhow, back to the recruiting pitch...I admit, I was intrigued.  ICE?  Me?   Meriwhen in a green and white car?  It would coordinate with my blog's theme. 

Ah, no, not now. I'm not planning to leave my current gig any time soon, as it took me so long to land it in the first place.

I went on a short holiday.  I brought my laptop with every intention of opening it up to do schoolwork, but I opened it up to look up local attractions and indulge in some late-night Minecraft.  So I technically didn't begin my next course--Informatics--until this past Monday. 

I'm now about a week and a half behind my arbitrary deadlines, but that's OK.  My first program mentor had set the dates up so I'd finish in mid-November, leaving me with 6 free weeks.  I opened up my iCal and plugged in the actual dates, and made a few adjustments.  My adjustments have me finishing in mid-December...on my birthday, actually.

So, for Informatics...

For this class, they recommend taking part in as many of the live cohorts as possible.  I threw myself right into the first live cohort, and the second will be today.  My schedule won't let me hit every cohort, but I can hit two a week.

I went to the first one, which was taught by my assigned course instructor.  So she's going on about the course and mentions an informatics scenario that sounds suspiciously like it occurred in a psych setting.  I could relate.  So she continues on and it turns out she IS a psych nurse.  Well, she's in Informatics now, but she's a psych nurse at heart and loves it.

It was all I could do to keep from squealing.  A fellow comrade from the dark side!

The course being Informatics, she couldn't talk psych nursing for long.  But I must speak with this instructor more.  Since I'm planning to approach the performance assessments from a psych perspective, she will be a valuable asset.  Speaking of which, this course has two performance assessments independent of each other, and I get to use PowerPoint for one of them.  Should be fun.

I'm sick of Translational Research

Don't get me wrong:  I loved the content of the course.  I'm just sick of working on this performance assessment for the last two weeks.  I'm already 4 days behind my arbitrary deadline.  Tomorrow will be day 5, but it WILL be the final day of this course as I plan to submit my performance assessment before lunch.  I already did the Turnitin check (6%, well below the guidelines).  I have a last review of it with the Writing Center, then I'll give it a final once-over, and then this toast is toasted.

Today was the weekly check-in with Belle.  I'm strongly suspecting that she's got a strong psych background, if she's not actually a psych nurse.  We spent 5 minutes discussing my weekly progress and 10 minutes discussing adventures in psych nursing.   And she was excited to discus psych as well.

Someone who understands my life!  This pleases me.

I also came to the realization that I REALLY do need those arbitrary deadlines. Don't get me wrong, the self-pacing of the WGU program is great.  But I realized today when I was on the 7th draft on my project that, as I told Belle, I could continue to revise this thing until the cows come home.  Instead, I need to work up to the deadline, submit it, and move on to the next course.  If my performance assessment truly blows, they'll send it back for revision.

I realize that may sound confusing to fellow students, and it confuses the hell out of me to.  To revisions/revising in WGU lingo typically means that your performance assessment was kicked back because part/all of it didn't meet the rubric standards.  Whereas in my lingo, revisions/revising means to edit yet another draft.  The previous paragraph makes it seem like my performance assessment failed 6 times already.

Moving to non-graduate school topics...

I went to the Cheesecake Factory today.  The menu is rather scary...well, not so much the food as the calorie counts listed next to the food.  There was very little in that main menu book that wasn't in the quadruple digits, and a few of those digits even started with 2.   But since I was there last time (which was probably 2012 or 2013), they have introduced an additional menu of lighter-calorie fare.  In this new menu, I'm pretty sure that no one item exceeded 1,000 calories.

I recommend the White Chicken Chili, by the way.  Excellent flavor with a nice spicy kick.  The Chicken Samosas are good too.  I had both and still kept the total calories in the triple digits.

I do regret having the Cinnabon Cheesecake though.  Which, by the way, is not on their new menu as it's about 1300 calories.  But when one is at the Cheesecake Factory, one has to have the cheesecake.  Otherwise, why go to a place named the Cheesecake Factory?  Anyhow, I thought that since I've been able to eat cheese with no issue as of late, that perhaps I was able to tolerate dairy again.  Alas, that was not the case...though it was a very tasty way to put myself in agony.  But next time I go back there, I think I'll have to settle for the bowl of strawberries instead.

A new chapter

So I "met" my new program mentor yesterday.  I introduced myself as "the psychiatric nurse that you're inheriting from Baby Nurse."  She laughed and said "you and I are going to get along just fine!"

She has a Southern accent that could cut glass.  I lived in the South for more than a decade, so I understand almost all dialects of Southern...except mountain North Carolinian.  I understand Welsh better than the mountain North Carolinian accent.   So I shall refer to her as Belle.

I introduced myself, we chatted...she was excited that I enjoyed psych.  She asked me about why I chose education over NP.  I told her it's because I wanted to do more than just prescribe medications.  She stated that she didn't pursue Psych NP for the same reason.  I told her that I wanted to have a more interactive role with others, and that I've always enjoyed mentoring and nurturing others.  She felt the same way.

I never asked what area(s) she specialized in...but could it be my mentor IS a psych nurse? 

If so, that would be awesome!  I often don't meet others of my kind in school except for those who are teaching a psychiatric nursing course.

So things got off to a good start between us.  I have a feeling we're going to have a great relationship.

I talked to Belle and told her that I needed to push my arbitrary course deadline back to August 31 (it was originally August 25) due to being sidelined with a double ear infection and then an allergic reaction to antibiotics.  She said "oh, bless your heart" and understood why.  So my new deadline is now August 31.  That gave me some of my motivation back, so instead of feeling like I was up against the gun, I had a decent amount of time to produce a decent performance assessment.

Southern lingo note:  the meaning of "bless your heart" is very dependent on the context it's used in.  In this case, it was sympathy. 

Speaking of allergic reactions...I hauled myself to the doctor to get it checked out.  Surprisingly, I was able to get a same day appointment with my regular PCP.  She looked at it, said it was possibly an allergy though questionable if its a true allergy (a localized rash, instead of generalized hives that I experience with the other antibiotics I'm allergic to).  So she marked it as an allergy with a note about whether it's a true one.  She also counseled me that if it came down to me taking the antibiotic, to go ahead and take it.  I agreed.

She said I was treating the rash correctly and that it should go away in a couple of days.  Sure enough, today it is gone except for some remnants of redness.

In which Meriwhen has little motivation and an allergic reaction to antibiotics

For the last week, my motivation for doing schoolwork has been...well, not at zero.   If my motivation were measured with a speedometer and 60mph was going full throttle, I'm about at 15mph.  Small progress but not enough.  Baby Nurse--who as of this week is no longer my mentor--told me that baby steps were still steps.  And she is right, though I don't think I will be able to finish this course by the arbitrary deadline of 8/25.  Closer to 8/31.

For various reasons, I just can't pick myself up to get fully going.  Work has been busy, I've been sick and sleeping a lot, the weather is too damn hot...anyhow, I knew this was a risk with WGU.  And I need to nip it in the bud.  I can't let myself run this course into September.  I REFUSE TO.

So I set up some Writing Center appointments for drafts and the final.  That way, I have commitments I can't break.

Baby Nurse has decided to take a position teaching in a brick-and-mortar school.  She was an awesome program mentor and I wish her well in her new position.  She has handed me over to her successor who she said she likes a lot and feels will take good care of me.  I have not yet met her, my first appointment with her is next week.  I wonder if she's a psych nurse...probably not.  There seems to be so few of us running around these programs.

The sick and the sleeping...double ear infection.  Whee.  I waited three days to see if it would pass, then hauled myself to the doctor.  He looked at my history, reviewed my allergies, and started me on azithromycin and decongestants.  The medications worked, and I was feeling fine within a few days.

Then a couple of days after the last dose of antibiotic, a rash appeared on my neck.  I wasn't alarmed at first:  for some reason, the skin on my neck is very sensitive compared to the rest of me, and it's not uncommon for me to have areas of redness there.  But then the rash got bumpy.  And then spread up the sides of my face.  Almost like a bad hormonal acne breakout.  The current state of it is that my neck is less bumpy but still red, while most of the bumps have taken up shop on my cheekbones.

Now, I should have caught this:  the -mycin.  I'm allergic to clindamycin.  Not life-threatening allergic, more like here's-a-lovely-rash-that-won't-die-for-two-weeks allergic.  The doctor was aware of it too.  I guess he figured that azithromycin wasn't likely to cause a reaction.  I thought as much too, and I really needed the ear infections out of there.  Well, we were both wrong.  The last time I saw a rash like this was when I was on clindamycin.  Same exact thing.

The good news is that it does go away.  The bad news is that it takes two weeks.  The worse news is that I have a social event to go to tonight and I refuse to miss it.

My going to Urgent Care is not an option as 1.  the rash is more cosmetically unpleasing than life-threatening and 2.  I'll end up spending hours there, hours that could have been spent doing schoolwork and relaxing before this event.  So I'm doing a little home treatment.  oral antihistamines (Vistaril), and topical hydrocortisone and salicylic acid creams.  I'm otherwise leaving it alone.  Time really is the only cure for it.

Getting excessively harsh with my skin will not clear it up any faster--if anything, it will exacerbate the problem and make it impossible to conceal with makeup.  I do have an arsenal of foundations, so I know I can conceal it for the most part.  I have the perfect one to use:  Tarte Amazonian Clay 12-Hour Foundation.  I strongly recommend this foundation if you have things to hide and want to keep them hidden most of the night.

I can't hide it 100%, but with good foundation, a red dress and a strong lip color, I could perhaps distract from it.

One class down. Many more to go.

I passed my first WGU class.  It took three days for the performance assessment to be reviewed and graded.  I was able to watch it progress through the queue though, so I knew the delay was not because they didn't get it, but because there were 300+ submissions in front of me.  

During those three days, I had quite the weekend at work.  I'm thoroughly convinced the recent full/blood moon had a lot to do with it.

I got the notice that the assessment passed on Monday.   Some areas of my performance assessment met expectations (score 3 out of 4) while others exceeded expectations (score 4 out of 4).  I admit, I was hoping for more 4s. 

Overall, the assessment's score was met expectations, or a 3.  Which I suppose is on par with a B.  I also admit I was hoping it overall exceeded expectations, or a 4.  Or an A.  But even it were a 4, the course would still appear as "Pass" on my transcript and my GPA would still be a 3.0.  

This "no-GPA" is still taking some getting used to.

Overall, I'm glad to put this first class behind me.  The assessment was very introspective which, while it did come up with valuable insights, always feels weird for me to do because I feel like they're looking for a certain answer in these courses.  No matter what program I took this type of course in, it always feels like The Powers That Be are looking for a certain answer.  Like my goals in the next 10 years always have to be something lofty like becoming a NP or nurse executive. 

To be honest, I don't know what I'll be doing in 10 years.  I'm still not 100% sure I want to do Education.  I'm 95% sure.  The other 5% of the time, I wonder if it would serve me better to do Leadership or Informatics...I mean, I could still teach with either one of those concentrations.  But I have time to change my mind if I want.   The courses for all the MSN programs are the same for at least the first two terms. 

I had to take a few days off before I started the next class, partly due to the high patient acuity at work and partially because I needed a mini-break from school.  I admit, I like this about WGU--I can pace myself.  The arbitrary start date for this next class was 7/29.  But as long as I finish these four classes by 12/31, it doesn't matter if I start the second class on the 29th or the 1st or the 15th.

Now, it's Translational Research, which I started yesterday.  I like research classes.  I even like doing the research for the research studies.   This course, I decided to use their 21-and-Done schedule.  So far, I'm keeping pace.  I had a productive appointment with my course instructor and narrowed down the topic for my performance assessment to a couple of contenders.  I'm going to see which topic pulls up more research studies and would be more doable. 

Oh yes, I also learned I did win one of the WGU scholarships...the one for nurses, actually.  Fitting.

Another weekly call with Baby Nurse.  She told me that I'm on the few nurses she has who isn't burning to rush through the program as fast as possible.  I responded that my circumstances at this time did not require me to rush and that I could enjoy the ride.

So, all the reading is done.  I started working on the performance assessment.  I'm glad I went with PERRLA, at the least the online version:  it lets me save my paper so I can work on it anywhere.  Which is nice as I have a Mac at home but work is strictly a Windows clique.

I had some questions about this assessment, so I booked a telephone appointment with my course instructor for this morning.  She's a pediatric nurse, so Peds Nurse she is.  I seem to be attracting all of the nurses for the under-18 crowd, which is funny given that this was the one specialty I could never do.

So Peds Nurse answered the questions, and therefore there is now no reason why I can't get started.  My arbitrary deadline for the assessment is July 28, so that leaves me with 9 days.   Except that I'm feeling tired today and really need to get some sleep...

I can't let that be an excuse though.

Three hours of sleep

...and  maybe not even that.  That's all I'm running on for work tonight.  So I'm firing up the coffee pot and starting the IV.  Oh well.  It looks like I'll be working with a couple of my favorite nurses, so it'll be all right.  A great team can make up for a lot of things, lack of sleep included.

I'm almost done with the reading for the first class.  I have 92% of the tasks completed.  Two more tasks remain, then I have officially covered everything and I can begin the assessment.  Well, I could start the assessment at any time, but like I said, I want to get the most out of this experience so--at least for right now--I'm going through everything.

Graduate school has started me thinking about my career's future.  I really like where I work, but I'm not sure there will be a lot of opportunities for a MSN-Ed there (I also feel like there's some new undercurrents developing that I'm not sure about, but that's another story).  But anyway, I would like to stay at my current facility and if that's not possible, there may be opportunities for a MSN-Ed in one of the other hospitals in the organization's chain.  If not, I may have to look elsewhere.

Fortunately, in the several years I've been living in the area, I have at least one contact in almost every psych healthcare facility in town.  While that doesn't guarantee me a quick new job, at least I have people who can do recon for me and, should it come to job application time, provide a reference.  And we could always relocate out of state...though that's not on my want-to-do list in the foreseeable future.  That was part of the plan of going to education full-time later on in life.

Of course, who's to say a nursing program won't pick me up after I graduate?  Though I had planned to be a full-time educator later on, after I've been worn out at the bedside, I could always go full-time educator sooner than planned and continue being at the bedside part-time/PRN.  But that's at least 1.5-2 years off.

While I'm thinking about the future, I'm trying not to obsess over it too much.  I've been trying to practice the mindfulness I've been learning about, to stay in the present and be aware of what's going on around me right here and now.   No easy task given my anxiety issues and predilection to stressing out.

Oh well

I wasn't selected for one of the scholarships at work.  I received my rejection letter today.

I admit that I'm bummed because I thought I had a really good chance at it.  I worked hard, sent it in for revisions, seriously considered and where applicable incorporated the feedback from one of the review committee members.  I'm going to presume that my manager spoke well of me when she sent in the recommendation form.  So I was rather optimistic that I might get one. 

But as I've posted on the nursing forum, if there's only 5 slots but 25 equally qualified applicants, 20 of them will still have to leave empty-handed.  I can only guess (hope?) that I was one of those 20 that would also have had a scholarship had there been 25 to give.

In reality, I don't know how many scholarships were up for grabs...I'll know soon enough when they announce the recipients.

There is always next year's scholarships, though next year, I'll use a different person for the managerial reference.  Just in case.

Though I have to remind myself that even with this loss, I'm still rather ahead of the game in terms of finances.  My tuition reimbursement should cover nearly half of the tuition costs.  I'm still holding out hope for a WGU scholarship which would only be a few hundred each term, but it's still something.  And thanks to planning and creative budgeting, I am 99.9% certain that I will not have to take out any student loans.  I'll be graduating without any debt. 

Going to mope about this for a little bit, and then get back to studying.

Randomness as I wait

I'm waiting for a webinar that is to begin in about 30 minutes...it's an "Intro to the MSN Program" one.  I decided that I'm going to take advantage of everything offered that could apply to me in some way.  Though I'm not a webinar fan and prefer to not have to call in--I'd rather converse by chat instead.

I've decided to rename my program advisor from Kid Nurse to Baby Nurse, as the former keeps conjuring up images of goats.  I have a standing telephone date with her on Wednesday mornings.

The class that I'm in has a "21 and Done" list...apparently a lot of these classes have this feature.  Basically, it maps out the entire course over 21 days, and if you want to finish the course--or at least submit the performance assessment--within 21 days, then this is the document to follow.  It's not binding, so if I decide to use it, I'm not committed for the entire 21 days.  Anyhow, I started off with it and abandoned it by day 5.  My work/life schedule didn't exactly sync with the schedule of tasks as in the document, with the end result that I'm not exactly up to day 10 as the document says I should be at.

I am doing a lot of work though.  It's mostly self-reflection, as well as learning about systems of health and wellness.  Learning a lot about mindfulness and how it could improve my nursing practice.  I admit, I'm a perfect candidate for learning mindfulness as my specialty of nursing focuses on the mind.

I need to stop eating cheese.  I usually don't eat it as my body doesn't tolerate dairy as well as it used to...but it's Muenster cheese.  Damn good Muenster cheese at that.  And I have no willpower when it comes to damn good creamy Muenster cheese and whole-grain bread sandwiches.  I have to tell the other half to go back to getting Cheddar.

I find out later this week--Friday--if I am one of the scholarship recipients at work.  I'm going to be really disappointed if I'm not.  I worked very hard on that scholarship application, particularly in refining the question answers to be under a certain number of words--and a rather small number of words at that.  Plus include all the key words.  Plus make it still sound like me.

I haven't heard about any WGU scholarships yet.   Still hoping to get one of the five that I applied to.

And it begins...began...begun...

I'm officially officially a graduate student.  School started a week ago.

I'm in the midst of my first class.  I have 4 classes this semester, for 10 CUs.  Each CU takes--or is worth--about two weeks' of work.  So, at 2 CUs, my first class will be about a month long, with a "end" date of 7/28.  I could finish it sooner and start the next one all that much earlier.  Or I could finish it after the 28th--anytime, really--and start the next class a little later.    It doesn't matter how long I take for each class, as long as I pass all 4 classes by 12/31.

Kid Nurse explained that she set the class "end" dates to have me finish the term in mid-November.  Her reasoning was that it would leave me free time for the holidays...or if I was feeling motivated, she could move another class up to this term, and I could get ahead of the game.

This first class has LOTS of reading.  Though I imagine that all of these classes are going to have LOTS of reading, plus some video.  There's e-books, e-reserves, journal articles, websites and videos galore for me to pore through.  I found it easier for me to print out what I can so I can highlight and make notes--although WGU's software has the capability of highlighting and note making, I find I prefer old-school pen and highlighter. 

I can't print the e-books out, which sucks. There, I use the software tools to note and highlight.

I'm still lurking in some support groups.  Some of my classmates have already finished this first class and are starting the second.  I've found that there's a lot of students who just jump right to the projects without going through the whole course because they want to complete their programs ASAP. 

I'm not going to do it that way.  Though there's nothing wrong with rushing:  I suppose as long as they're getting what they want out of the program and they're doing it in the academically honest way, then is it my business how they accomplish it?  But at this time, I'm not going to do the mad rush.  I'm going to savor each step of the journey.  I might speed the journey up by a term...well see how things go this first term.

And it's gotten more real

I have obtained PERRLA and Grammarly...I have fallen in love with Grammarly.  I use it for things not even related to school.

I have set up my schoolwork area.  Translation:  I cleaned all the junk off my desk in the home office, set up my laptop, and bought several printer ink cartridges.  I set up a separate login on my computer just for school.  This account doesn't have access to Minecraft, and Chrome (the required browser for school) has no non-school or non-nursing bookmarks.  So whenever it's study time, there's no temptation for me to do other things.

Now I have completed Orientation.   It was not some fluff PowerPoint that I rapidly click through just to hit the required wicket.

Nope.  Nine parts, complete with tons of videos that were required viewing in order to advance to the next section, Q&A and assignments.  So much was going on that the I had to do some technical support first so I could keep my sanity.  I live and die by Google calendar as it keeps me on track with everything.  It talks to my iCal and to my iPhone.  Now I had to get my WGU calendar--which is another Google-based calendar--to talk to my iCal and my iPhone.   Then I had to find a Tasks app to talk to my WGU calendar, my computer and my iPhone.  Sorting all of that out took two days, but now everything is interacting as they should.

Plug:  gTasks Pro is the bomb.  I highly recommend it.

Once that was set up, I plugged all my Orientation work into my gTasks list and spent the week going through each one.

I also now have a program mentor...I've already spoken to her twice, actually.  We seem to get on rather well so far.  She's not a psych nurse--actually, she's in a specialty I could never do.  It's not L&D:  while my dislike for L&D is well-known, I choose not to do it.   I could do it if I had to, and I would probably be rather good at it too.  But there's a couple of specialties I can't ever do because they get to me, and they involve pediatrics.   Sick kids get to me too deeply, and my urge to throttle ignorant or abusive parents gets too strong.

BTW, mentor, in the highly unlikely event that you read this, you keep my secret and I'll keep yours.

So I completed the first set of tasks that Kid Nurse (as I will refer to her) assigned me.  Today, we walked through the degree plan and the first course, which is the typical Professional Practice course that starts off almost every BSN and MSN program.   Heck, even a lot of ADN programs have such a course included...at least, mine did.

I was never expecting my MSN to be easy.  Far from it:  I'm paying for a solid education so I expect to work hard and be worked hard.   But looking through the first course and the assessment I have to do...well, I'm definitely not in Kansas anymore.  This is some serious stuff.   It was a little overwhelming at first glance. 

Fortunately, Orientation also made me aware of the many resources WGU has and how to use them, so I at least know where I can turn to for help.   Plus I know that things will become clearer once I start on the coursework.

I have a month for this first course...well, I could take longer or do it faster, depending on how I pace myself.  But Kid Nurse set arbitrary course start/end dates and I'm glad she did.  I like having the structure of knowing when something is due than something that it open-ended.  A deadline both motivates me to stay on course and prevents me from falling into the never-ending cycle of revising  to get the elusive 100% perfect paper.   That's because I'm going to have to eventually turn it in.

There are a couple of study plans in the course, broken into weekly and daily.  While I may not adhere to them, it's nice to see all the requirements laid out so I can start plugging them into gTasks and iCal.

My first day of school is technically July 1.  However, I am able to start reading for this course, which I will definitely do tomorrow.  After I update gTasks and iCal, of course.  And have a nice long evening of uninhibited Minecraft.

It just got real

Orientation has arrived.

Today, I logged into the student portal to find the links to the orientation modules and recommended webinars.  I also saw my degree plan.  If I keep to their suggested plan, I will graduate by December 2020.  Of course, I can speed this up a bit if I want, and I probably will.

The waiting game

I completed a half-marathon the other day.  It wasn't my best time--3 hours and change--but it was one of the most fun ones I did because I met up with a sorority sister from our running group.  She's a better runner than I, but she was also recovering from an injury and was more than happy to keep me company for the 13.1 miles.  We both enjoyed it so much that we've already registered for next year's race.

Meanwhile, I decided that I was going to go full-bore crazy and register for my third half of 2018.  This one will be in November.

As far as post-race condition goes, I have a bad blister on my heel and I think I'm going to lose a toenail...again.  But I'm in a lot better condition than I was after the one in March.

So school begins on July 1.  I'm supposed to start orientation on the 15th of this month.  I'm just waiting for it to start.  I tried looking for some good books for nursing education students, but almost all of the results that turned up were NCLEX-related.  The rest were for nursing education instructors developing curriculum for students.

I applied for the scholarship at work.  I'll know in July.  I got some positive feedback on my application so I'm optimistic, but not overly so.  So I'm waiting to hear on that.

Meanwhile, I want to apply for the WGU scholarship.  I wrote my director asking if she would be a reference, but I haven't heard back from her yet, and it's been nearly a week.  So this weekend, I'm going to ask someone else if they're willing to do it.  While I'm waiting, I'm fine-tuning my answers for the application.

Well, I guess I'm committed now

I paid my first tuition bill.  In full.  This will take me through the end of the year.

School still doesn't start until July 1.  Orientation will be during the second half of June.  In the meantime, I'm lurking on some WGU support groups, both general and nursing-specific.  I'm also getting some necessary supplies:  PERRLA and Grammarly.  I heard that both are invaluable when it comes to APA and writing at the graduate level.

I also told my manager.  I had to:  I'm applying for that work scholarship because I found out that nursing education students were in fact eligible.  Part of the application process is a recommendation letter from my manager.  She already submitted it, so now I have to do my part.  I also need to approach someone else about my recommendation letter for the WGU scholarships.  I think I'll ask the director and see if she'll do it.  If not, I have a few other candidates in mind.

The scholarship writing workshop I was supposed to do this week was cancelled and rescheduled for next week.  Right after that class, I'll finish off my scholarship applications--this one as well as the WGU ones--and submit them.  Then we wait and see.

I'm getting kind of excited here.

In all, two people now know about my graduate school plans:  my manager, and a coworker who is in an online NP program.  He's half my age...yeah, I feel old.  I told him one night in between giving patients IMs...yeah, that was a bad night.  It was nice to talk to someone who is also going to school online.  He gets what I'll be going through.  And he's heard of WGU and it's been nothing but good things.  I asked him to keep it on the QT for now, and he has. 

Now that my manager knows, I wonder if it will get out.  I didn't ask her to keep it quiet, so if she were to share the news, I suppose she wouldn't be in the wrong.  Still, I don't think I'm ready to make a full-on announcement about it to everyone.  I'm still not sure why I feel this way.  Though if I did manage to win one of the work scholarships, it will become public knowledge like it or not.

Scholarships

I am now 60 days out from starting the MSN program.  This means I can apply for WGU scholarships.  I started the general application but haven't finished it, because once I finish the general application, I then have to submit the scholarship-specific applications within 5 business days.   There are 2 I am definitely eligible for, and possibly 1 or 2 more that I could qualify for.

I also found out about a scholarship through work that I would be eligible for.  I have 60 days to apply for that as well.

The reality is that I will not qualify for any need-based scholarships.  Fortunately, tuition reimbursement from work will cover almost half of the tuition, though it's I pay the school first and work reimburses me later.  I do not plan to take out any loans either.  I have a tiny savings account I had started way back when to fund graduate school, and my first term's tuition is almost covered, and I plan to increase my contributions so every 6 months, it will have almost if not all the next term's tuition.   Though if necessary, I will go the ramen route.  My doctor will hate me for that...she's already going to be cross me with me when I go for my annual physical tomorrow.  She won't want to hear that I will be living off of ramen for the next 12-18 months.

Therefore, the scholarships I must stalk are either based on merit or on my hitting whatever wickets I need to in order to meet the scholarship's criteria (e.g., gender, ethnicity, area of study, professional organization, can I do the tango, etc.).  And of course, on how well I can sell myself to the scholarship committees.  So I need to stack the deck as much as I can.

I signed up a for a scholarship writing workshop through work.  It will supposedly teach me the tips and tricks I need to write an effective scholarship application.  I will also be able to get their assistance in completing applications, so what I plan to do is take the WGU and the work scholarship applications with me and see what magic the course facilitators can help me work.

I'm actually eager to get things started, and for a brief moment, I thought about moving the start date up to June 1st.  But if I wait until July 1, I'll have the full tuition for the first term in my savings account.  Also, June is going to be a hectic month and I don't want to have to juggle starting graduate school around everything.

Laissez les bons temps rouler

I've been trying to take a more laid back attitude towards things at work.  There's been some changes I'm dealing with, as well as other possible changes coming down the pike that may or may not affect me.  Now, regular readers (all 2 of you) know I have major anxiety issues that I'm been working on for years.  My regular medications have helped considerably.  I've been using a lot of mental tricks that I've learned to try to relax and deal.  Writing about what is making me anxious also helps.  So does the occasional alprazolam, though I save that for when the tricks and writing fail me.

For the most part, the anxiety issues have improved, but I have weak moments when the anxiety can and does overwhelm me. 

So instead of working myself up into a worried frenzy over what might happen--especially when it might not--I decided that I am just going to roll with things the best that I can.  For the most part, work has been good times, so may they continue to roll and I roll along with it.

I guess it's a modified Serenity Prayer, Cajun style. Le Bon Dieu would approve.

I am finally able to use that treadmill I purchased.  I'm making an effort to put in at least 30 minutes on it before work each day.  It's still mostly walking with some occasional running, but I'm improving.

I've been lurking on a couple of WGU support groups online, one for the general school and one for BSN/MSN students.   I see people in both groups complaining (maybe not the best word but it'll do) about how hard some of the assignments are and how tough the instructors are being on said assignments.  It's reassuring to see this.  At least I know that I'm going to have to work for my MSN kibble.

Albeit 3.0 kibble.  I'm still adjusting to that.  Remember that my lowest nursing school GPA was 3.93.  So to go from that to knowing I'm going to get a 3.0 no matter how hard I work is a bit of a paradigm shift.  But then again, at this point in the game, does the GPA really matter anymore?  It only does is I decide to pursue a PhD or post-masters.  And even then, lots of WGU students go on to get even higher degrees than a MSN.