The new grad postings for my healthcare organization are up. Yes, it's that time of year when the new grads finish up their residency and start jockeying for the spots. No guarantees...though of course, if you're aiming for a particular spot, it helps if you have an "in" somewhere in that department. Then the department manager has a name to ask for when they submit the posting to HR.
We have a new grad coming our way next month. Their "in" was that they were a per-diem CNA/tech for us. And now they're a nurse for us.
We're actually doing pretty well in the new grad front. We've had quite a few of them over the last couple of years, and so far almost all of them have stuck around. It's nice to see that there's new nurses who are really interested in psych, and not just using it as a way-station to get their golden first year of experience before moving on to another specialty.
Showing posts with label career. Show all posts
Showing posts with label career. Show all posts
November 27, 2018
November 26, 2018
In which Meriwhen cries at work
I've only gone misty at work a few times in my career.
First time was as a new grad. The powers that be decided I should be in charge of the ICU that day. Well, I had never been in charge of the ICU--it wasn't even my home unit. Up until that point, I was primarily a detox nurse. And it was a day full of discharges, court hearings, and everything administrative. I can deal with psychotic patients until the cows come home, but administrative stuff and court hearings...yeah, not yet familiar territory. My other nurse (we were short, so there were only two of us) was also a float. She was also a LVN so what she could do to help me was limited in scope.
I did my best to make a go of it, but after an hour and a half, I was so overwhelmed, I had to call the DON for reinforcements. She was able to get the supervisor down there, as well as one of the regular ICU nurses to come in on his day off and help me out. God bless him. He helped me get through the shift and gave me a crash course in all the legal ins and outs. He remains a good friend to this day. We both have the same taste in firearms.
I managed to keep the water works in until after the shift, when I went by the DON's office. She invited me to stop by to see how I was. I got there, sat down, and promptly started bawling.
The second time was many years later, on the first Father's Day after my father died. I went to work four days after he passed and didn't cry. I didn't cry for a long time. But that first Father's Day...I was on the open unit, so fortunately I got to be alone in my misery. Patients slept all night and it was so slow that my partner was chatting with some other nurses. I sat in the corner with a COW (computer on wheels), quietly, with the tears streaming down my face. I think that was the first time I had cried since he died.
I haven't really cried for him since...I do get misty at times, especially on my birthday. But brief tears since my father would have never liked to see me get upset on my birthday, especially about him. And I've never really cried over him since...but I know he understands.
Third time was due to stress over my mother. I love my mother but she can drive me to tears. I don't remember exactly what it was that got me upset, but with my mother, it could be lots of things. And while my crying wasn't outright hysterics, it was enough to get people worried.
Which brings us to the fourth time, today.
I generally have a good relationship with my coworkers, especially the ones I work with the most often. You need to have it, it's part of surviving. But work has been very stressful as of late--unfortunately things have happened and I can't go into details. It's getting to a lot of us. At least, it's getting to me and a few who have confided in me. We're doing our best to support each other in this. Anyhow, one of my coworkers--normally a decent guy--has been acting kind of like a jerk lately. He said something to me and it actually hurt. I asked for help with something and I got this instead. I'm not entirely sure if it was meant as a joke--I'm kind of thinking/hoping that it was, but it still hurt nonetheless.
I know, Meriwhen, sensitive? Not usually. But like I said, things have been stressful lately. So the remark got to me more than I'd like to have. I didn't quite know what to say, or even if I wanted to say anything about it, so I have just been keeping my distance from said coworker. Not really talking to him other than what I had to say while I thought it over.
I did end up talking about it with another coworker--the topic just kind of came up. He was also there and heard the remark, and agreed that it was rather insensitive, especially since I never ask for help (and yes, I'm working on improving that) and didn't get why the coworker said it, even if it was supposed to be a joke. He's also been a bit frustrated with this first coworker as of late. We both concluded that he (first coworker) probably hasn't even noticed that he upset me and so it might be pointless to even bring it up, just to let it pass.
So while an apology might be nice, my second coworker has a point. As far as remarks go, yes, it hurt...it wasn't the worst thing I've ever had anything ever said to me. Still, it was nice to know that perhaps it just wasn't me being overly sensitive.
But now, the first coworker for some reason is now not really talking to me. We have somehow entered a cold war...maybe. Or maybe not. I haven't asked him.
It hasn't impaired our working together, but it was tense. And got tenser as the night wore on.
Finally, towards, the end of the shift, I couldn't take the tension anymore and started crying in front of three psychotic patients. Two of them--long-term patients--were very concerned about me. The third said he would get us an apartment to live in together and buy me a sports car.
Uh, no, thank you.
I excused myself and left the floor. I'm a firm believer in presenting a united front when it comes to patients, and any issues among staff is not patient business.
A third coworker (I have to number them now so you're not confused) found me and consoled me. I didn't really say why I was upset. I'm not sure if anyone else knew I was upset because I did have the waterworks under decent control. Others including the first coworker were going past us in the nurses' station, so maybe they noticed. Or possibly not. No one else said anything, and I was too upset to care who saw at this point.
I pretty much ran out of Dodge after that.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, was the fourth time I ever cried at work. I'm sure they'll be a fifth, but hopefully not for a long time.
As far as the first coworker...I don't know what to do about that situation. It's inevitable that we will be working together again. He really is a good guy and I genuinely enjoy working with him. I'd like to think that his remark was a poor joke made at a horrible time, and which I for some reason am having a hard time getting over. Things are stressful at work for all of us, and the holidays are just going to make it worse. And December is a horrible enough month for me as it is. Maybe it may just be better for me to let it go and try to get out relationship back to normal. If he asks about it, I'll tell him how I felt. Though I don't think he will. I think it's just like my second coworker and I think: he probably hasn't noticed anything was/is wrong.
Though I'll be honest: part of me never wants to ask him for help with anything again if I can help it, in case it wasn't a joke.
First time was as a new grad. The powers that be decided I should be in charge of the ICU that day. Well, I had never been in charge of the ICU--it wasn't even my home unit. Up until that point, I was primarily a detox nurse. And it was a day full of discharges, court hearings, and everything administrative. I can deal with psychotic patients until the cows come home, but administrative stuff and court hearings...yeah, not yet familiar territory. My other nurse (we were short, so there were only two of us) was also a float. She was also a LVN so what she could do to help me was limited in scope.
I did my best to make a go of it, but after an hour and a half, I was so overwhelmed, I had to call the DON for reinforcements. She was able to get the supervisor down there, as well as one of the regular ICU nurses to come in on his day off and help me out. God bless him. He helped me get through the shift and gave me a crash course in all the legal ins and outs. He remains a good friend to this day. We both have the same taste in firearms.
I managed to keep the water works in until after the shift, when I went by the DON's office. She invited me to stop by to see how I was. I got there, sat down, and promptly started bawling.
The second time was many years later, on the first Father's Day after my father died. I went to work four days after he passed and didn't cry. I didn't cry for a long time. But that first Father's Day...I was on the open unit, so fortunately I got to be alone in my misery. Patients slept all night and it was so slow that my partner was chatting with some other nurses. I sat in the corner with a COW (computer on wheels), quietly, with the tears streaming down my face. I think that was the first time I had cried since he died.
I haven't really cried for him since...I do get misty at times, especially on my birthday. But brief tears since my father would have never liked to see me get upset on my birthday, especially about him. And I've never really cried over him since...but I know he understands.
Third time was due to stress over my mother. I love my mother but she can drive me to tears. I don't remember exactly what it was that got me upset, but with my mother, it could be lots of things. And while my crying wasn't outright hysterics, it was enough to get people worried.
Which brings us to the fourth time, today.
I generally have a good relationship with my coworkers, especially the ones I work with the most often. You need to have it, it's part of surviving. But work has been very stressful as of late--unfortunately things have happened and I can't go into details. It's getting to a lot of us. At least, it's getting to me and a few who have confided in me. We're doing our best to support each other in this. Anyhow, one of my coworkers--normally a decent guy--has been acting kind of like a jerk lately. He said something to me and it actually hurt. I asked for help with something and I got this instead. I'm not entirely sure if it was meant as a joke--I'm kind of thinking/hoping that it was, but it still hurt nonetheless.
I know, Meriwhen, sensitive? Not usually. But like I said, things have been stressful lately. So the remark got to me more than I'd like to have. I didn't quite know what to say, or even if I wanted to say anything about it, so I have just been keeping my distance from said coworker. Not really talking to him other than what I had to say while I thought it over.
I did end up talking about it with another coworker--the topic just kind of came up. He was also there and heard the remark, and agreed that it was rather insensitive, especially since I never ask for help (and yes, I'm working on improving that) and didn't get why the coworker said it, even if it was supposed to be a joke. He's also been a bit frustrated with this first coworker as of late. We both concluded that he (first coworker) probably hasn't even noticed that he upset me and so it might be pointless to even bring it up, just to let it pass.
So while an apology might be nice, my second coworker has a point. As far as remarks go, yes, it hurt...it wasn't the worst thing I've ever had anything ever said to me. Still, it was nice to know that perhaps it just wasn't me being overly sensitive.
But now, the first coworker for some reason is now not really talking to me. We have somehow entered a cold war...maybe. Or maybe not. I haven't asked him.
It hasn't impaired our working together, but it was tense. And got tenser as the night wore on.
Finally, towards, the end of the shift, I couldn't take the tension anymore and started crying in front of three psychotic patients. Two of them--long-term patients--were very concerned about me. The third said he would get us an apartment to live in together and buy me a sports car.
Uh, no, thank you.
I excused myself and left the floor. I'm a firm believer in presenting a united front when it comes to patients, and any issues among staff is not patient business.
A third coworker (I have to number them now so you're not confused) found me and consoled me. I didn't really say why I was upset. I'm not sure if anyone else knew I was upset because I did have the waterworks under decent control. Others including the first coworker were going past us in the nurses' station, so maybe they noticed. Or possibly not. No one else said anything, and I was too upset to care who saw at this point.
I pretty much ran out of Dodge after that.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, was the fourth time I ever cried at work. I'm sure they'll be a fifth, but hopefully not for a long time.
As far as the first coworker...I don't know what to do about that situation. It's inevitable that we will be working together again. He really is a good guy and I genuinely enjoy working with him. I'd like to think that his remark was a poor joke made at a horrible time, and which I for some reason am having a hard time getting over. Things are stressful at work for all of us, and the holidays are just going to make it worse. And December is a horrible enough month for me as it is. Maybe it may just be better for me to let it go and try to get out relationship back to normal. If he asks about it, I'll tell him how I felt. Though I don't think he will. I think it's just like my second coworker and I think: he probably hasn't noticed anything was/is wrong.
Though I'll be honest: part of me never wants to ask him for help with anything again if I can help it, in case it wasn't a joke.
November 14, 2018
The half-marathon went well. No PR, but I wasn't last either. It was my first time on the course and I enjoyed it so much that I'm signing up for next year's race as soon as they post it.
The registry (a.k.a. Job #2) called to see if I was working and whether I was interested in picking up work with them again. It's nice to know I'm still thought of well by them...but between work and graduate school, I don't really have the time to spare for a registry position. So I'm going to decline but ask them to keep in touch. It never hurts to have contacts wherever you can.
The registry (a.k.a. Job #2) called to see if I was working and whether I was interested in picking up work with them again. It's nice to know I'm still thought of well by them...but between work and graduate school, I don't really have the time to spare for a registry position. So I'm going to decline but ask them to keep in touch. It never hurts to have contacts wherever you can.
November 10, 2018
A few of my coworkers asked me if I was going to go for that administrative position. I didn't directly answer (at the time, it was not yet posted), but stated that it would be nice to have someone consistently there for those of us on nights and that if it had to be me to deliver that consistency, then so be it. It was nice to hear that I still have the vote of confidence from some of my peers if I had decided to pursue it. But as I mentioned, it's already off the table of consideration due to its hours.
In other news...the other half's father passed away this spring. I don't thing I had mentioned it here because it blindsided us. He went into hospital for a lung issue that turned into a cardiac issue that turned into a ICU stay that turned into the end. The reason we were blindsided was that he and other half's mom didn't want us to know how bad things really were. So whenever we spoke to his mom, she made it sound like things were better than they actually were. Then one day his mom calls and says, "oh, your dad passed away." No preamble. Just boom. Said it as though she was discussing the day's random activities.
Side note: she's also a psychiatric nurse, which is probably why she had such great emotional control when talking to us.
In a way, I can't fault her. The other half has never been good with anything medical, so much so that even I no longer disclose any of my own medical issues to him unless I'm certain I have to. He'd spazz endlessly with worry over every single little thing. So the family tells him only when he really needs to know.
But at the same time, if his mom knew that his dad was likely not going to make it, she should have been honest about that part so other half would have had a chance to say goodbye to him. At least I had that chance with my dad. Other half never got that chance. Neither did I.
I do miss my other half dad. He was a good guy and you could always count on him for a bad pun. And he considered me the daughter he never had.
Tomorrow is his birthday, which happens to be the same day as the half-marathon I amrunning walking. I was going to wear my one of my usual running shirts (turtles or sorority runners) but found one that he'd love. It has this printed on it:
Which is totally something my other dad would say to me as I'm slogging along.
In other news...the other half's father passed away this spring. I don't thing I had mentioned it here because it blindsided us. He went into hospital for a lung issue that turned into a cardiac issue that turned into a ICU stay that turned into the end. The reason we were blindsided was that he and other half's mom didn't want us to know how bad things really were. So whenever we spoke to his mom, she made it sound like things were better than they actually were. Then one day his mom calls and says, "oh, your dad passed away." No preamble. Just boom. Said it as though she was discussing the day's random activities.
Side note: she's also a psychiatric nurse, which is probably why she had such great emotional control when talking to us.
In a way, I can't fault her. The other half has never been good with anything medical, so much so that even I no longer disclose any of my own medical issues to him unless I'm certain I have to. He'd spazz endlessly with worry over every single little thing. So the family tells him only when he really needs to know.
But at the same time, if his mom knew that his dad was likely not going to make it, she should have been honest about that part so other half would have had a chance to say goodbye to him. At least I had that chance with my dad. Other half never got that chance. Neither did I.
I do miss my other half dad. He was a good guy and you could always count on him for a bad pun. And he considered me the daughter he never had.
Tomorrow is his birthday, which happens to be the same day as the half-marathon I am
Which is totally something my other dad would say to me as I'm slogging along.
November 7, 2018
Administrative moot point
They did post that administrative position...for evenings. I have no intention of leaving nights. Therefore, I shan't be applying.
It shall be interesting to see if we'll have an internal candidate or if someone will come from the outside.
So all that musing I did the other day was a moot point...well, if I think about it, it really wasn't a moot point. It made me think about whether I really did want to cross over into the realm of administration (answer: still not 100% sure I do). It also gave me some food for thought for the future, especially when I graduate with my MSN and decide what my next steps in life will be...both the immediate steps and those in the long game. I've been thinking in terms of a ten-year plan as of late. I'll have my MSN in two years, and I'm starting to formulate a picture of where I want to be eight years after that. You'll have to forgive me if I choose to keep a lot of these cards close to my vest for now. There's going to be a lot of hands played in this card game anyway.
I will still send my resume and cover letter template to the WGU career center to get them cleaned up and at the ready. While I love what I do and where I work and don't have any intention of leaving any time soon, it's always a good idea to have a resume and basic cover at the ready should the perfect career opportunity ever cross my path.
It shall be interesting to see if we'll have an internal candidate or if someone will come from the outside.
So all that musing I did the other day was a moot point...well, if I think about it, it really wasn't a moot point. It made me think about whether I really did want to cross over into the realm of administration (answer: still not 100% sure I do). It also gave me some food for thought for the future, especially when I graduate with my MSN and decide what my next steps in life will be...both the immediate steps and those in the long game. I've been thinking in terms of a ten-year plan as of late. I'll have my MSN in two years, and I'm starting to formulate a picture of where I want to be eight years after that. You'll have to forgive me if I choose to keep a lot of these cards close to my vest for now. There's going to be a lot of hands played in this card game anyway.
I will still send my resume and cover letter template to the WGU career center to get them cleaned up and at the ready. While I love what I do and where I work and don't have any intention of leaving any time soon, it's always a good idea to have a resume and basic cover at the ready should the perfect career opportunity ever cross my path.
November 5, 2018
Administrative randomness
I finished Nursing Informatics. It was like pulling teeth, but I did it. I'm now on the final course of the term: Nursing Leadership. My term ends December 31, but I'm planning to have this course wrapped up by December 10 so I can enjoy the holidays without the spectre of a performance assessment looming over me.
After Informatics, Leadership is a refreshing change of pace. It's also arriving at an interesting time.
There's been some managerial turnover here. Nothing horrible: people moving on to bigger and better things. There is a possibility of an administrative position opening up, not immediately, but probably within a few weeks or so. It would be the same position that I had considered applying for in the past but declined.
This time around, I think I would seriously consider applying for it. Well, first of all, it would have to be a NOC position. If it's not NOC, it's not even in the realm of possibility. And in all honesty, the odds are it won't be a NOC position. But there's a chance it could be, and given that I happen to be taking Nursing Leadership, let me entertain such chance.
I've been weighing the pros and cons of going to administration.
Pro: consistency. We can't seem to keep a consistent admin around on nights and we are pretty much left to fend for ourselves. We do have an advanced nurse who we pretty much consider our unofficial leader--so much so that if she had decided to apply for said position, I'd immediately withdraw and throw my support behind her. We were promised some occasional visits from management during the night and they lasted...for a while. Then they disappeared. I don't know if they didn't think we'd notice...I did and actually mentioned it to someone.
So yeah, having someone from admin consistently around would be nice. And if it's got to be me to get that consistency, fine.
Pro: career advancement. It's more solid administrative/management experience.
Con: pay cut, a drastic one at that. Like $10-20/hr. Being the main breadwinner at home, finances are very important in the equation. I'm not out to make bank, but I do need to make enough to keep the status quo.
Con: schedule change. I like my current schedule. Not only will I lose it, I'll have to add on an extra day.
Pro: support of my coworkers. Most of them thought I should have applied the first time around...a few thought I had. So at least they're not opposed to seeing me in this position.
Con: relationship shift. It's going to go from me and coworkers to me supervising coworkers. The dynamic will change...it has to change by nature. I have good relationships with my coworkers--as far as I know, none want to kill me--but would those relationships survive the change?
Con: less time on the floor. More time as charge nurse. I like the floor. I like direct patient care.
Pro: opportunity for personal and professional growth as I go out of my comfort zone.
Con: having to interview. Fear of being rejected and not getting the job.
I'm sure I'll think of more.
Anyhow, it's not as simple as counting the number of each, seeing which side wins and then deciding based on that. There's a lot more depth to the decision than that.
Of course, this position might not get posted at all, or not be posted for nights, and then it's all a moot point.
I've decided to keep my own counsel on this and not mention it to anyone at work until necessary. I may need to ask someone to be a reference. I will definitely take advantage of WGU's career center to get the resume and cover letter polished up.
After Informatics, Leadership is a refreshing change of pace. It's also arriving at an interesting time.
There's been some managerial turnover here. Nothing horrible: people moving on to bigger and better things. There is a possibility of an administrative position opening up, not immediately, but probably within a few weeks or so. It would be the same position that I had considered applying for in the past but declined.
This time around, I think I would seriously consider applying for it. Well, first of all, it would have to be a NOC position. If it's not NOC, it's not even in the realm of possibility. And in all honesty, the odds are it won't be a NOC position. But there's a chance it could be, and given that I happen to be taking Nursing Leadership, let me entertain such chance.
I've been weighing the pros and cons of going to administration.
Pro: consistency. We can't seem to keep a consistent admin around on nights and we are pretty much left to fend for ourselves. We do have an advanced nurse who we pretty much consider our unofficial leader--so much so that if she had decided to apply for said position, I'd immediately withdraw and throw my support behind her. We were promised some occasional visits from management during the night and they lasted...for a while. Then they disappeared. I don't know if they didn't think we'd notice...I did and actually mentioned it to someone.
So yeah, having someone from admin consistently around would be nice. And if it's got to be me to get that consistency, fine.
Pro: career advancement. It's more solid administrative/management experience.
Con: pay cut, a drastic one at that. Like $10-20/hr. Being the main breadwinner at home, finances are very important in the equation. I'm not out to make bank, but I do need to make enough to keep the status quo.
Con: schedule change. I like my current schedule. Not only will I lose it, I'll have to add on an extra day.
Pro: support of my coworkers. Most of them thought I should have applied the first time around...a few thought I had. So at least they're not opposed to seeing me in this position.
Con: relationship shift. It's going to go from me and coworkers to me supervising coworkers. The dynamic will change...it has to change by nature. I have good relationships with my coworkers--as far as I know, none want to kill me--but would those relationships survive the change?
Con: less time on the floor. More time as charge nurse. I like the floor. I like direct patient care.
Pro: opportunity for personal and professional growth as I go out of my comfort zone.
Con: having to interview. Fear of being rejected and not getting the job.
I'm sure I'll think of more.
Anyhow, it's not as simple as counting the number of each, seeing which side wins and then deciding based on that. There's a lot more depth to the decision than that.
Of course, this position might not get posted at all, or not be posted for nights, and then it's all a moot point.
I've decided to keep my own counsel on this and not mention it to anyone at work until necessary. I may need to ask someone to be a reference. I will definitely take advantage of WGU's career center to get the resume and cover letter polished up.
September 5, 2018
Stuff
I finished Research. It turned out that I aced this one...it came back with a nearly perfect score. It'd be nice if WGU thought it merited an excellence award, but I guess it'd have to have a perfect score to get that.
I got a few recruiting pitches. The most notable one was from ICE...yes, that ICE. Apparently psychiatric nurses can have flourishing careers in Immigration and Customs Enforcement. And apparently they saw me on LinkedIn and thought I was a good candidate. I'm going to guess that they saw the last name and figured I was likely fluent in Spanish. I'm working on it. And Russian.
Yes, Russian.
I had always wanted to learn it as a kid and even got some sort of course to start with. But it was no Rosetta Stone and didn't really make it stick. I decided to take advantage of a summer sale to add on Rosetta Stone Russian online. I work on Spanish classes during my lunch breaks. I started working on Russian classes when I'm on the treadmill. As far as practice goes, surprisingly there is a sizable Russian/Ukrainian community in my town.
Anyhow, back to the recruiting pitch...I admit, I was intrigued. ICE? Me? Meriwhen in a green and white car? It would coordinate with my blog's theme.
Ah, no, not now. I'm not planning to leave my current gig any time soon, as it took me so long to land it in the first place.
I went on a short holiday. I brought my laptop with every intention of opening it up to do schoolwork, but I opened it up to look up local attractions and indulge in some late-night Minecraft. So I technically didn't begin my next course--Informatics--until this past Monday.
I'm now about a week and a half behind my arbitrary deadlines, but that's OK. My first program mentor had set the dates up so I'd finish in mid-November, leaving me with 6 free weeks. I opened up my iCal and plugged in the actual dates, and made a few adjustments. My adjustments have me finishing in mid-December...on my birthday, actually.
So, for Informatics...
For this class, they recommend taking part in as many of the live cohorts as possible. I threw myself right into the first live cohort, and the second will be today. My schedule won't let me hit every cohort, but I can hit two a week.
I went to the first one, which was taught by my assigned course instructor. So she's going on about the course and mentions an informatics scenario that sounds suspiciously like it occurred in a psych setting. I could relate. So she continues on and it turns out she IS a psych nurse. Well, she's in Informatics now, but she's a psych nurse at heart and loves it.
It was all I could do to keep from squealing. A fellow comrade from the dark side!
The course being Informatics, she couldn't talk psych nursing for long. But I must speak with this instructor more. Since I'm planning to approach the performance assessments from a psych perspective, she will be a valuable asset. Speaking of which, this course has two performance assessments independent of each other, and I get to use PowerPoint for one of them. Should be fun.
I got a few recruiting pitches. The most notable one was from ICE...yes, that ICE. Apparently psychiatric nurses can have flourishing careers in Immigration and Customs Enforcement. And apparently they saw me on LinkedIn and thought I was a good candidate. I'm going to guess that they saw the last name and figured I was likely fluent in Spanish. I'm working on it. And Russian.
Yes, Russian.
I had always wanted to learn it as a kid and even got some sort of course to start with. But it was no Rosetta Stone and didn't really make it stick. I decided to take advantage of a summer sale to add on Rosetta Stone Russian online. I work on Spanish classes during my lunch breaks. I started working on Russian classes when I'm on the treadmill. As far as practice goes, surprisingly there is a sizable Russian/Ukrainian community in my town.
Anyhow, back to the recruiting pitch...I admit, I was intrigued. ICE? Me? Meriwhen in a green and white car? It would coordinate with my blog's theme.
Ah, no, not now. I'm not planning to leave my current gig any time soon, as it took me so long to land it in the first place.
I went on a short holiday. I brought my laptop with every intention of opening it up to do schoolwork, but I opened it up to look up local attractions and indulge in some late-night Minecraft. So I technically didn't begin my next course--Informatics--until this past Monday.
I'm now about a week and a half behind my arbitrary deadlines, but that's OK. My first program mentor had set the dates up so I'd finish in mid-November, leaving me with 6 free weeks. I opened up my iCal and plugged in the actual dates, and made a few adjustments. My adjustments have me finishing in mid-December...on my birthday, actually.
So, for Informatics...
For this class, they recommend taking part in as many of the live cohorts as possible. I threw myself right into the first live cohort, and the second will be today. My schedule won't let me hit every cohort, but I can hit two a week.
I went to the first one, which was taught by my assigned course instructor. So she's going on about the course and mentions an informatics scenario that sounds suspiciously like it occurred in a psych setting. I could relate. So she continues on and it turns out she IS a psych nurse. Well, she's in Informatics now, but she's a psych nurse at heart and loves it.
It was all I could do to keep from squealing. A fellow comrade from the dark side!
The course being Informatics, she couldn't talk psych nursing for long. But I must speak with this instructor more. Since I'm planning to approach the performance assessments from a psych perspective, she will be a valuable asset. Speaking of which, this course has two performance assessments independent of each other, and I get to use PowerPoint for one of them. Should be fun.
July 15, 2018
Three hours of sleep
...and maybe not even that. That's all I'm running on for work tonight. So I'm firing up the coffee pot and starting the IV. Oh well. It looks like I'll be working with a couple of my favorite nurses, so it'll be all right. A great team can make up for a lot of things, lack of sleep included.
I'm almost done with the reading for the first class. I have 92% of the tasks completed. Two more tasks remain, then I have officially covered everything and I can begin the assessment. Well, I could start the assessment at any time, but like I said, I want to get the most out of this experience so--at least for right now--I'm going through everything.
Graduate school has started me thinking about my career's future. I really like where I work, but I'm not sure there will be a lot of opportunities for a MSN-Ed there (I also feel like there's some new undercurrents developing that I'm not sure about, but that's another story). But anyway, I would like to stay at my current facility and if that's not possible, there may be opportunities for a MSN-Ed in one of the other hospitals in the organization's chain. If not, I may have to look elsewhere.
Fortunately, in the several years I've been living in the area, I have at least one contact in almost every psych healthcare facility in town. While that doesn't guarantee me a quick new job, at least I have people who can do recon for me and, should it come to job application time, provide a reference. And we could always relocate out of state...though that's not on my want-to-do list in the foreseeable future. That was part of the plan of going to education full-time later on in life.
Of course, who's to say a nursing program won't pick me up after I graduate? Though I had planned to be a full-time educator later on, after I've been worn out at the bedside, I could always go full-time educator sooner than planned and continue being at the bedside part-time/PRN. But that's at least 1.5-2 years off.
While I'm thinking about the future, I'm trying not to obsess over it too much. I've been trying to practice the mindfulness I've been learning about, to stay in the present and be aware of what's going on around me right here and now. No easy task given my anxiety issues and predilection to stressing out.
I'm almost done with the reading for the first class. I have 92% of the tasks completed. Two more tasks remain, then I have officially covered everything and I can begin the assessment. Well, I could start the assessment at any time, but like I said, I want to get the most out of this experience so--at least for right now--I'm going through everything.
Graduate school has started me thinking about my career's future. I really like where I work, but I'm not sure there will be a lot of opportunities for a MSN-Ed there (I also feel like there's some new undercurrents developing that I'm not sure about, but that's another story). But anyway, I would like to stay at my current facility and if that's not possible, there may be opportunities for a MSN-Ed in one of the other hospitals in the organization's chain. If not, I may have to look elsewhere.
Fortunately, in the several years I've been living in the area, I have at least one contact in almost every psych healthcare facility in town. While that doesn't guarantee me a quick new job, at least I have people who can do recon for me and, should it come to job application time, provide a reference. And we could always relocate out of state...though that's not on my want-to-do list in the foreseeable future. That was part of the plan of going to education full-time later on in life.
Of course, who's to say a nursing program won't pick me up after I graduate? Though I had planned to be a full-time educator later on, after I've been worn out at the bedside, I could always go full-time educator sooner than planned and continue being at the bedside part-time/PRN. But that's at least 1.5-2 years off.
While I'm thinking about the future, I'm trying not to obsess over it too much. I've been trying to practice the mindfulness I've been learning about, to stay in the present and be aware of what's going on around me right here and now. No easy task given my anxiety issues and predilection to stressing out.
May 17, 2018
Well, I guess I'm committed now
I paid my first tuition bill. In full. This will take me through the end of the year.
School still doesn't start until July 1. Orientation will be during the second half of June. In the meantime, I'm lurking on some WGU support groups, both general and nursing-specific. I'm also getting some necessary supplies: PERRLA and Grammarly. I heard that both are invaluable when it comes to APA and writing at the graduate level.
I also told my manager. I had to: I'm applying for that work scholarship because I found out that nursing education students were in fact eligible. Part of the application process is a recommendation letter from my manager. She already submitted it, so now I have to do my part. I also need to approach someone else about my recommendation letter for the WGU scholarships. I think I'll ask the director and see if she'll do it. If not, I have a few other candidates in mind.
The scholarship writing workshop I was supposed to do this week was cancelled and rescheduled for next week. Right after that class, I'll finish off my scholarship applications--this one as well as the WGU ones--and submit them. Then we wait and see.
I'm getting kind of excited here.
In all, two people now know about my graduate school plans: my manager, and a coworker who is in an online NP program. He's half my age...yeah, I feel old. I told him one night in between giving patients IMs...yeah, that was a bad night. It was nice to talk to someone who is also going to school online. He gets what I'll be going through. And he's heard of WGU and it's been nothing but good things. I asked him to keep it on the QT for now, and he has.
Now that my manager knows, I wonder if it will get out. I didn't ask her to keep it quiet, so if she were to share the news, I suppose she wouldn't be in the wrong. Still, I don't think I'm ready to make a full-on announcement about it to everyone. I'm still not sure why I feel this way. Though if I did manage to win one of the work scholarships, it will become public knowledge like it or not.
School still doesn't start until July 1. Orientation will be during the second half of June. In the meantime, I'm lurking on some WGU support groups, both general and nursing-specific. I'm also getting some necessary supplies: PERRLA and Grammarly. I heard that both are invaluable when it comes to APA and writing at the graduate level.
I also told my manager. I had to: I'm applying for that work scholarship because I found out that nursing education students were in fact eligible. Part of the application process is a recommendation letter from my manager. She already submitted it, so now I have to do my part. I also need to approach someone else about my recommendation letter for the WGU scholarships. I think I'll ask the director and see if she'll do it. If not, I have a few other candidates in mind.
The scholarship writing workshop I was supposed to do this week was cancelled and rescheduled for next week. Right after that class, I'll finish off my scholarship applications--this one as well as the WGU ones--and submit them. Then we wait and see.
I'm getting kind of excited here.
In all, two people now know about my graduate school plans: my manager, and a coworker who is in an online NP program. He's half my age...yeah, I feel old. I told him one night in between giving patients IMs...yeah, that was a bad night. It was nice to talk to someone who is also going to school online. He gets what I'll be going through. And he's heard of WGU and it's been nothing but good things. I asked him to keep it on the QT for now, and he has.
Now that my manager knows, I wonder if it will get out. I didn't ask her to keep it quiet, so if she were to share the news, I suppose she wouldn't be in the wrong. Still, I don't think I'm ready to make a full-on announcement about it to everyone. I'm still not sure why I feel this way. Though if I did manage to win one of the work scholarships, it will become public knowledge like it or not.
March 29, 2018
So the last 10 months...
Without writing an entire novel, here's what I've been up to over the last 10 months.
The summer was uneventful. I picked up quite a few extra shifts during the day (I know!) to sock away some extra money for my leave of absence following surgery. I trained to a couple of new areas. My IV success rate still hovers at 50%.
The surgery went well. I was talking with one of the staff there prior to the surgery. She wanted to know where I worked, so I told them I was in psych. "Oh, my kid is in there," she said. "Cool, what shift is she on, maybe I know them," I reply. And it turns out that the child isn't staff but a patient.
"Oh."
Then I was told a lot more about this patient than I ever wanted to know. I said nothing other than, "I don't think I've come across them," which was true, as I hadn't. But talk about small worlds!
The surgeon and anesthesiologist were awesome: I told them what I wanted--not to remember anything during the surgery--and they delivered. Though it would have been nice to be warned that the operating room would be like an icebox. But they threw warm blankets on me, and then I was put under right away.
My sister took me there and waited to bring me home. At one point, the staff couldn't find her. We don't have the same last name, plus the name she has (that I used to have) is exceptionally hard to pronounce, so it's not as though they could have paged her. So I told them, "She looks absolutely nothing like me." They found her in less than 5 minutes.
I originally was going to return after one week, but after the first night home, I decided I was taking the full two weeks. All I did was lie in bed and listen to audio books. And get off the hook for doing anything around the house, because I was under orders not to lift or strain myself for a few weeks. Unfortunately, this meant that I also had to stop exercising, so I gained back 15 of the 20 pounds I lost during the year. I'm still working at getting them back off.
The fall was all right, nothing exciting. Played a lot of Minecraft. It's soothing, especially when I'm in creative move. It's almost as fun as DOOM in God Mode, just without the chainsaw and cacodemons.
The little one officially became a teenager in December. He asked that we no longer call him by his childhood nickname. He is also almost as tall as I am (and I am tall!) and has bigger feet than the better half. Pretty soon, this kid's going to tower over us.
My birthday was hard, as it was also the second anniversary of my dad's passing. It was a little easier than the first year, but I don't think it'll ever be pain-free though. Still, he wouldn't want me crying on that day, so I got the tears out while everyone was asleep, and fired up Red Dwarf until I was laughing hysterically. That gave me the strength to get through the day.
At the start of the new year, I sprained my back by not acting my age. Seriously, I was fooling around on a trampoline. I didn't feel any pain then, but two days later it hit with a vengeance. I was laid up for about a week. It felt like it was never getting better...I kind of understood why people in chronic pain get depressed and want to kill themselves. Not that I ever got to that dark of a point, but I certainly felt hopeless and helpless.
The next month, I pulled a groin muscle while exercising. That only had me down for three days though, but I had to cut back on the exercise program for a while.
Littler one turned 5. His speech has improved drastically...he's still hard to understand at times, but he is talking more and babbling less. We're hoping he can transfer to the local school next year, but we'll see what happens at the next IEP meeting.
I did another half-marathon. It wasn't my best time (and as always, I was dead last!), but I did pretty well considering my training was messed up due to the injuries. I have another one coming up in June...I'm usually not this masochistic to do two half-marathons within six months, but this is also a get-together of sorority alumnae as well, so it's as much a social event as an athletic one.
I dealt with some personal heartbreak. I'm not going to go into details, but I will assure you that both immediate and extended family are fine. The pain sucked, but it was a learning experience, so I'm grateful for that. Though I wish there were less painful ways to learn such things.
And this brings me to now, and my big news...I applied to graduate school.
I decided to go with Western Governors University for the MSN in Education. A lot of people--including other staff--at the forum spoke highly about it, so I did some of my own research. It's accredited and has a good reputation. I liked what I found, so I decided to give it a shot and apply. I'm hoping to start in July.
I was looking at local programs, but they would have been hard to work around given my work schedule. I thought about going back to UTA, but I decided that I wanted a different approach. It's going to be interesting doing a program at my own pace. The pass/fail thing is going to be both a blessing and a curse...a blessing since I won't be stressing out over getting As. A curse because I'm going to end up with a 3.0 GPA no matter how well I ace each test and paper.
I don't want to become a psych NP because I don't want to prescribe all day. I enjoy being in the trenches with the patients. Education appeals to me because I like to teach others and I would love to be able to develop patient education programs. I could help develop the next generation of nurses--I always fancied myself becoming a nursing school instructor...and there's also the potential for staff education as well.
Plus, If I change my mind and decide that I want to become a NP (psych or otherwise) down the road, I could always do a post-masters. Or maybe I'll go for the PhD. Or maybe I'll stop at MSN.
Right now, things are still in the application stage...I don't doubt that I'll be accepted, as I'm bringing along GPAs of 3.93 and 4.0. But I never take any thing for granted. The transcripts are on their way, and I started talking with my enrollment counselor.
It's kind of exciting to be going back to school. It's been almost 5 years since I finished the BSN. I think I'm ready to do it.
Meriwhen the RN, now BSN, soon to be MSN. I like the sound of it.
The summer was uneventful. I picked up quite a few extra shifts during the day (I know!) to sock away some extra money for my leave of absence following surgery. I trained to a couple of new areas. My IV success rate still hovers at 50%.
The surgery went well. I was talking with one of the staff there prior to the surgery. She wanted to know where I worked, so I told them I was in psych. "Oh, my kid is in there," she said. "Cool, what shift is she on, maybe I know them," I reply. And it turns out that the child isn't staff but a patient.
"Oh."
Then I was told a lot more about this patient than I ever wanted to know. I said nothing other than, "I don't think I've come across them," which was true, as I hadn't. But talk about small worlds!
The surgeon and anesthesiologist were awesome: I told them what I wanted--not to remember anything during the surgery--and they delivered. Though it would have been nice to be warned that the operating room would be like an icebox. But they threw warm blankets on me, and then I was put under right away.
My sister took me there and waited to bring me home. At one point, the staff couldn't find her. We don't have the same last name, plus the name she has (that I used to have) is exceptionally hard to pronounce, so it's not as though they could have paged her. So I told them, "She looks absolutely nothing like me." They found her in less than 5 minutes.
I originally was going to return after one week, but after the first night home, I decided I was taking the full two weeks. All I did was lie in bed and listen to audio books. And get off the hook for doing anything around the house, because I was under orders not to lift or strain myself for a few weeks. Unfortunately, this meant that I also had to stop exercising, so I gained back 15 of the 20 pounds I lost during the year. I'm still working at getting them back off.
The fall was all right, nothing exciting. Played a lot of Minecraft. It's soothing, especially when I'm in creative move. It's almost as fun as DOOM in God Mode, just without the chainsaw and cacodemons.
The little one officially became a teenager in December. He asked that we no longer call him by his childhood nickname. He is also almost as tall as I am (and I am tall!) and has bigger feet than the better half. Pretty soon, this kid's going to tower over us.
My birthday was hard, as it was also the second anniversary of my dad's passing. It was a little easier than the first year, but I don't think it'll ever be pain-free though. Still, he wouldn't want me crying on that day, so I got the tears out while everyone was asleep, and fired up Red Dwarf until I was laughing hysterically. That gave me the strength to get through the day.
At the start of the new year, I sprained my back by not acting my age. Seriously, I was fooling around on a trampoline. I didn't feel any pain then, but two days later it hit with a vengeance. I was laid up for about a week. It felt like it was never getting better...I kind of understood why people in chronic pain get depressed and want to kill themselves. Not that I ever got to that dark of a point, but I certainly felt hopeless and helpless.
The next month, I pulled a groin muscle while exercising. That only had me down for three days though, but I had to cut back on the exercise program for a while.
Littler one turned 5. His speech has improved drastically...he's still hard to understand at times, but he is talking more and babbling less. We're hoping he can transfer to the local school next year, but we'll see what happens at the next IEP meeting.
I did another half-marathon. It wasn't my best time (and as always, I was dead last!), but I did pretty well considering my training was messed up due to the injuries. I have another one coming up in June...I'm usually not this masochistic to do two half-marathons within six months, but this is also a get-together of sorority alumnae as well, so it's as much a social event as an athletic one.
I dealt with some personal heartbreak. I'm not going to go into details, but I will assure you that both immediate and extended family are fine. The pain sucked, but it was a learning experience, so I'm grateful for that. Though I wish there were less painful ways to learn such things.
And this brings me to now, and my big news...I applied to graduate school.
I decided to go with Western Governors University for the MSN in Education. A lot of people--including other staff--at the forum spoke highly about it, so I did some of my own research. It's accredited and has a good reputation. I liked what I found, so I decided to give it a shot and apply. I'm hoping to start in July.
I was looking at local programs, but they would have been hard to work around given my work schedule. I thought about going back to UTA, but I decided that I wanted a different approach. It's going to be interesting doing a program at my own pace. The pass/fail thing is going to be both a blessing and a curse...a blessing since I won't be stressing out over getting As. A curse because I'm going to end up with a 3.0 GPA no matter how well I ace each test and paper.
I don't want to become a psych NP because I don't want to prescribe all day. I enjoy being in the trenches with the patients. Education appeals to me because I like to teach others and I would love to be able to develop patient education programs. I could help develop the next generation of nurses--I always fancied myself becoming a nursing school instructor...and there's also the potential for staff education as well.
Plus, If I change my mind and decide that I want to become a NP (psych or otherwise) down the road, I could always do a post-masters. Or maybe I'll go for the PhD. Or maybe I'll stop at MSN.
Right now, things are still in the application stage...I don't doubt that I'll be accepted, as I'm bringing along GPAs of 3.93 and 4.0. But I never take any thing for granted. The transcripts are on their way, and I started talking with my enrollment counselor.
It's kind of exciting to be going back to school. It's been almost 5 years since I finished the BSN. I think I'm ready to do it.
Meriwhen the RN, now BSN, soon to be MSN. I like the sound of it.
May 23, 2017
It's that time again...
ACLS renewal time. Time to get the latest guidelines out and remind myself what third-degree heart block looks like.
I am 0 for 4 on my patient surviving megacodes, because I am 4 for 4 on getting the asystole megacode. Something about me must tell the instructor, "give this one the flat liner." Perhaps it's because I'm usually the only psych nurse in the class, probably the only one they see all year.
I am a pro on the asystole megacode. The problem is that most patients are not pros at surviving asystole.
I did get a chance to run a second megacode during one renewal--it was supraventricular tachycardia, and that patient did make it. But as it was after my official (asystole) megacode for the class, and the instructor did it to give other students a chance to perform in different roles, it doesn't really count. Though since it wasn't asystole, I wasn't used to the fact that my patient was actually responding to treatment, and it kind of threw me...so it wasn't my smoothest megacode performance to date.
Anyhow, here's hoping I get a megacode with a shockable heart rhythm this year. Then again, being 5 for 5 on getting asystole megacodes is kind of a bragging right in itself.
I am 0 for 4 on my patient surviving megacodes, because I am 4 for 4 on getting the asystole megacode. Something about me must tell the instructor, "give this one the flat liner." Perhaps it's because I'm usually the only psych nurse in the class, probably the only one they see all year.
I am a pro on the asystole megacode. The problem is that most patients are not pros at surviving asystole.
I did get a chance to run a second megacode during one renewal--it was supraventricular tachycardia, and that patient did make it. But as it was after my official (asystole) megacode for the class, and the instructor did it to give other students a chance to perform in different roles, it doesn't really count. Though since it wasn't asystole, I wasn't used to the fact that my patient was actually responding to treatment, and it kind of threw me...so it wasn't my smoothest megacode performance to date.
Anyhow, here's hoping I get a megacode with a shockable heart rhythm this year. Then again, being 5 for 5 on getting asystole megacodes is kind of a bragging right in itself.
April 22, 2017
My weight loss stalled. I'm not gaining though, which is a good thing. But I'm holding steady at the 20-21 lb mark. My shift in sleeping schedule--and thus my shift in and laxity of intermittent fasting and what I'm eating--is probably the reason behind it. Plus Easter chocolates. I've improved on the wake-up bag of Doritos though I did have one this afternoon...I was a charge nurse last night, it was a wild night, what can I say? My soul craved Salsa Verde.
I'm sure once I'm back on my usual schedule and meal plan, the loss will resume. I need to get back into exercising as well.
Work has been...work. I thought about calling out tonight or at least requesting a cancellation. But given that both the little one and I will have various medical expenses coming up, it's better if I work and get my full pay with weekend diffs than just the PTO at my base rate.
I successfully started 2 IVs in the last couple of weeks, bringing my EVAA (estimated vascular access average) up to around .300.
Acuity has been high on every unit since before the full moon. There are lots of little changes going on to help prepare us for various site visits. New staff are going to be starting soon, including a new grad (someone who wanted into psych, no less!), so there's been some shuffling around of who is working what unit, who will be doing what, and what schedules will be changing.
Come to think of it, that shuffling has been happening for a while. It seems like TPTB are into floating staff around and people are working where they usually don't. I think part of this is due to new staff coming on board, as well as the budget--they want to fill in the coverage gaps so they don't have to pay people to stay late or come in on OT.
I'm eyeing all of this with a little apprehension and concern. I thoroughly enjoy where I work and I don't have plans to leave anytime soon. I'm glad to have new staff come on board. It'll be nice to have staff more evenly spread so there's fewer gaps. I'm excited we have a new grad that appears to be want to be here and not just wanting to get their mandatory first year over with to leave for more medical pastures.
But I also wonder with all this shuffling, where I will fit in. Yes, I know some of this is my well-known (well-known if you've read this blog anyway) anxiety/insecurity. I know the union means they can't just fire me without cause. I know they can't change my schedule without my consent. But I'm hardly on my home unit as it is, so I wonder where I'm going to be stashed with all of these changes...especially since some of this new staff is coming to my home unit.
I'm trying to be Zen about it and take a "wait and see" approach. See what's going to happen to me--if anything--before I make my concerns known to the TPTB. It could be that I'm getting rattled over nothing, and everything will be the same as before or better. Or not.
I'm sure once I'm back on my usual schedule and meal plan, the loss will resume. I need to get back into exercising as well.
Work has been...work. I thought about calling out tonight or at least requesting a cancellation. But given that both the little one and I will have various medical expenses coming up, it's better if I work and get my full pay with weekend diffs than just the PTO at my base rate.
I successfully started 2 IVs in the last couple of weeks, bringing my EVAA (estimated vascular access average) up to around .300.
Acuity has been high on every unit since before the full moon. There are lots of little changes going on to help prepare us for various site visits. New staff are going to be starting soon, including a new grad (someone who wanted into psych, no less!), so there's been some shuffling around of who is working what unit, who will be doing what, and what schedules will be changing.
Come to think of it, that shuffling has been happening for a while. It seems like TPTB are into floating staff around and people are working where they usually don't. I think part of this is due to new staff coming on board, as well as the budget--they want to fill in the coverage gaps so they don't have to pay people to stay late or come in on OT.
I'm eyeing all of this with a little apprehension and concern. I thoroughly enjoy where I work and I don't have plans to leave anytime soon. I'm glad to have new staff come on board. It'll be nice to have staff more evenly spread so there's fewer gaps. I'm excited we have a new grad that appears to be want to be here and not just wanting to get their mandatory first year over with to leave for more medical pastures.
But I also wonder with all this shuffling, where I will fit in. Yes, I know some of this is my well-known (well-known if you've read this blog anyway) anxiety/insecurity. I know the union means they can't just fire me without cause. I know they can't change my schedule without my consent. But I'm hardly on my home unit as it is, so I wonder where I'm going to be stashed with all of these changes...especially since some of this new staff is coming to my home unit.
I'm trying to be Zen about it and take a "wait and see" approach. See what's going to happen to me--if anything--before I make my concerns known to the TPTB. It could be that I'm getting rattled over nothing, and everything will be the same as before or better. Or not.
March 7, 2017
Last day at Job #3
I received my final paycheck from Job #3 in the mail. They actually had it ready to give to me at my last day, except they didn't know where they put it. So I told them to mail it to me.
I never did tell you about how the last day went, did I?
It was mixed. I know that by resigning, I was making the right decision. At the same time, I was going to miss my coworkers. I had already said some goodbyes in person a couple of weeks prior. On the final day, I messaged those who I couldn't get to see before I left that I was going, and gave my contact info in case they wanted to get in touch. I cleaned out my e-mail and message boxes, and removed any personal files...there weren't many left as I started doing that once I decided to resign.
The nurse manager/my friend brought me flowers--which are actually still in great shape a week later--and food, which was sweet of her. The administrator told me that I would be missed and that I would be welcome back. And you never know--things in my life might change and I end up going back down the road.
I made one last pharmacy haul to use my 25% employee discount. Stocked up on diphenhydramine, as I use 100mg for sleep on work nights.
Work itself was kind of slow. There was a nursing inservice that day and I was invited to go along even though it was my last day. I was hesitant at first since it was my last day, but I'm glad I did decide to go, as some of my coworkers that I didn't get to see before I went were there, so I got to say goodbye in person. The presentation was about substance abuse and managing withdrawal. Not only did I get to spend 1.5 hours discussing a topic I love, I got paid and picked up some CEUs as well.
Not long after that, I had to see nurse manager/friend to turn my stuff in. That was sad but we had to laugh about how small the nursing world is, as this is the second workplace we've been together at, and a number of staff from our first shared workplace came over to this workplace as well. And that we've probably both find ourselves together at a future workplace. Then I left.
I decided that I needed In-N-Out Burger to soothe my wounded soul, so I took the long way home to stop at the one two towns over. One Double-Double (no veg) later, I felt a little better.
And that's it, really. It was a fairly low-key day, which suited me as I prefer to leave quietly in the night from such things.
It took a little getting used to being employed at only one organization. I've always had the safety net of multiple jobs at the same time, so if I felt unhappy at one I could spend more time at one of the others. Now, all my eggs are in one basket, so to speak. But there are plenty of opportunities for extra work, and they're even willing to pay overtime if that's what it takes.
And the committee that I'm now involved in guarantees me several hours a month. But that's a story for another post.
I never did tell you about how the last day went, did I?
It was mixed. I know that by resigning, I was making the right decision. At the same time, I was going to miss my coworkers. I had already said some goodbyes in person a couple of weeks prior. On the final day, I messaged those who I couldn't get to see before I left that I was going, and gave my contact info in case they wanted to get in touch. I cleaned out my e-mail and message boxes, and removed any personal files...there weren't many left as I started doing that once I decided to resign.
The nurse manager/my friend brought me flowers--which are actually still in great shape a week later--and food, which was sweet of her. The administrator told me that I would be missed and that I would be welcome back. And you never know--things in my life might change and I end up going back down the road.
I made one last pharmacy haul to use my 25% employee discount. Stocked up on diphenhydramine, as I use 100mg for sleep on work nights.
Work itself was kind of slow. There was a nursing inservice that day and I was invited to go along even though it was my last day. I was hesitant at first since it was my last day, but I'm glad I did decide to go, as some of my coworkers that I didn't get to see before I went were there, so I got to say goodbye in person. The presentation was about substance abuse and managing withdrawal. Not only did I get to spend 1.5 hours discussing a topic I love, I got paid and picked up some CEUs as well.
Not long after that, I had to see nurse manager/friend to turn my stuff in. That was sad but we had to laugh about how small the nursing world is, as this is the second workplace we've been together at, and a number of staff from our first shared workplace came over to this workplace as well. And that we've probably both find ourselves together at a future workplace. Then I left.
I decided that I needed In-N-Out Burger to soothe my wounded soul, so I took the long way home to stop at the one two towns over. One Double-Double (no veg) later, I felt a little better.
And that's it, really. It was a fairly low-key day, which suited me as I prefer to leave quietly in the night from such things.
It took a little getting used to being employed at only one organization. I've always had the safety net of multiple jobs at the same time, so if I felt unhappy at one I could spend more time at one of the others. Now, all my eggs are in one basket, so to speak. But there are plenty of opportunities for extra work, and they're even willing to pay overtime if that's what it takes.
And the committee that I'm now involved in guarantees me several hours a month. But that's a story for another post.
February 22, 2017
I thought I had a relaxing few days off ahead of me. Nope. Two dental appointments, one eye appointment, the final day of work at job #3 and most importantly, the littler one's birthday.
First, dental appointment #1. It was there that it was determined I needed a second and third. Nothing critical; mostly maintenance work and fixing a few minor problems.
The birthday was early in the week. I can't believe where the time has gone. He was a tiny little baby; now he's a hulking toddler.
Today is the second (of three!) dental and the eye appointment, back-to-back. The eye appointment is first, thank God, so at least I don't have to go through it with sore gums. However, the appointments are not in the same part of town: I have to drive 45 minutes--in the rain, no less--to the place where the eye appointment is. That's at 0900. Then afterwards, I have to drive back to my hometown for the dental appointment at 1100. If everything runs on time at the eye doctor, I should make it back to the dentist with time to spare.
There will be needles involved in this second appointment. Fortunately, I have a supply of ramen on hand, thanks to some recent ramen cravings. I haven't had ramen in years, but last week I felt compelled to have large quantities (no, not pregnant. I'm out of the gene pool, remember?) so I went to the Asian section of the market and stocked up.
Then the final day at job #3 tomorrow. I'm both sad and relieved. Sad because I will miss a lot of people there, and even the job itself--it's not what I'd want to do forever, but I did learn a lot from it. Relieved because I no longer have to stress about my schedule and meeting the scheduling requirement.
First, dental appointment #1. It was there that it was determined I needed a second and third. Nothing critical; mostly maintenance work and fixing a few minor problems.
The birthday was early in the week. I can't believe where the time has gone. He was a tiny little baby; now he's a hulking toddler.
Today is the second (of three!) dental and the eye appointment, back-to-back. The eye appointment is first, thank God, so at least I don't have to go through it with sore gums. However, the appointments are not in the same part of town: I have to drive 45 minutes--in the rain, no less--to the place where the eye appointment is. That's at 0900. Then afterwards, I have to drive back to my hometown for the dental appointment at 1100. If everything runs on time at the eye doctor, I should make it back to the dentist with time to spare.
There will be needles involved in this second appointment. Fortunately, I have a supply of ramen on hand, thanks to some recent ramen cravings. I haven't had ramen in years, but last week I felt compelled to have large quantities (no, not pregnant. I'm out of the gene pool, remember?) so I went to the Asian section of the market and stocked up.
Then the final day at job #3 tomorrow. I'm both sad and relieved. Sad because I will miss a lot of people there, and even the job itself--it's not what I'd want to do forever, but I did learn a lot from it. Relieved because I no longer have to stress about my schedule and meeting the scheduling requirement.
February 10, 2017
Two weeks' notice (official) and adventures in reading
I officially submitted my notice at Job #3. My department head was understanding, thanked me for my service and wished me well. The nurses at the site I was at were rather upset that I was going. They made me lay down on their new therapeutic cot (I guess one too many patients have come over all faint in there) and I basically told them the details while lying on my back and with my shoes off. First time I ever resigned from a job while in the supine position.
Truth be told, I'm kind of upset about leaving these nurses. Actually, of all the locations I have to go to on Job #3, the one I was at today is by far my favorite. I'm really going to miss the nurses, doctors, staff, pretty much everyone there, really. They are some of the most laid-back people in psych nursing that I know. Unfortunately, I have no more shifts scheduled at that site...but I told them they can always stalk me on social media.
So I left the site with sadness...though not before hitting the pharmacy on the way out the door and taking advantage of my 25% employee discount one last time. Don't knock these perks--they add up in the long run.
Anyhow...
Regular readers know I have a habit of randomly requesting books from the library, usually because I get interested in something and want to read all I can about it. Often, the holds take some time to make it to my tiny (really, it's only one room) branch of the public library, so when I go to pick them up, I'm often surprised at what I had requested. The librarians are no longer shocked at what I get. They are also tolerant of my requests, especially since I tend to forget to return books on time and have to pay fines. I'm good for a couple of dollars a month, at least.
These requests usually occur late at night, when I'm in bed reading and/or surfing on my Kindle. When I used to do this after a glass or two of wine, I'd apparently request the most random stuff. Now that I am not drinking...I still apparently request the most random stuff.
So I go to pick up the latest haul. In it, there is:
So yeah, I have a lot of literature to keep me occupied for the next 6 weeks.
Truth be told, I'm kind of upset about leaving these nurses. Actually, of all the locations I have to go to on Job #3, the one I was at today is by far my favorite. I'm really going to miss the nurses, doctors, staff, pretty much everyone there, really. They are some of the most laid-back people in psych nursing that I know. Unfortunately, I have no more shifts scheduled at that site...but I told them they can always stalk me on social media.
So I left the site with sadness...though not before hitting the pharmacy on the way out the door and taking advantage of my 25% employee discount one last time. Don't knock these perks--they add up in the long run.
Anyhow...
Regular readers know I have a habit of randomly requesting books from the library, usually because I get interested in something and want to read all I can about it. Often, the holds take some time to make it to my tiny (really, it's only one room) branch of the public library, so when I go to pick them up, I'm often surprised at what I had requested. The librarians are no longer shocked at what I get. They are also tolerant of my requests, especially since I tend to forget to return books on time and have to pay fines. I'm good for a couple of dollars a month, at least.
These requests usually occur late at night, when I'm in bed reading and/or surfing on my Kindle. When I used to do this after a glass or two of wine, I'd apparently request the most random stuff. Now that I am not drinking...I still apparently request the most random stuff.
So I go to pick up the latest haul. In it, there is:
- A collection of novels by Richard Bachman, a.k.a. Stephen King. I didn't remember why I wanted this one until I saw that The Running Man was one of the stories. Yes, the book that the movie is based on. Seriously, did you know that Stephen King of all people wrote that? I certainly didn't...though now that I know, it makes sense.
- A book on borderline personality disorder. Given my area of nursing, that is no surprise.
- A book on North Korea. Also not surprising. North Korea fascinates me. I have no desire to visit there though as I'd probably never be let out, but I'll read all I can about it.
- A biography of one of the Ramones. I think that was due to a discussion that I had with a coworker--we're both fans. I don't remember which Ramone it was offhand. Joey?
- And five (!) books on the Vestal Virgins. Now THIS one, I'm trying to figure out.
So yeah, I have a lot of literature to keep me occupied for the next 6 weeks.
February 8, 2017
Two weeks' notice...almost
Tomorrow, I officially give notice at Job #3. My friend/manager took my e-mail well and was understanding. She reassured me that I would always be welcome back whenever I wanted to, which was nice. I have two more assignments there: tomorrow and in two weeks. After that, it is finished, and I am down to only one job. That's going to take some getting used to.
February 1, 2017
High anxiety, you win...
I'm a Mel Brooks fan. I couldn't find History of the World Part I to watch, but I did find High Anxiety, so I put that on instead. It's a fun way to spend the night when you can't sleep.
My father actually took me and my sister to see that movie when it first came out in the theaters in the 1980s. I'm sure the theater staff thought he was crazy, but our family has always has a warped sense of humor. We didn't get all the jokes but we never asked Dad to explain them....and I don't think he would have anyway. It wasn't until many, many years later, that I fully understood every single thing in the movie.
I do remember my sister and I spent the rest of the day singing "The Inquisition." I still do sing it at times.
My father also took us to see Monty Python's The Meaning of Life in the theaters. But singing "Every Sperm is Sacred" doesn't go over well when you're in Catholic school.
Moving on to nursing news...
I'm still working on that Job #3 resignation plan. The letter is pretty much done. I've stop accepting any work requests using a variety of creative but true excuses. I'm back there next week so that's when I can make the resignation official. The immediate next step is the hardest: calling my friend/manager to let her know I'm leaving before I actually do it. I know she's going to try to talk me into staying...again: she was successful in doing that once before. She's going to be disappointed. But I need to let this job go, for my own sanity. I need to think about that first and foremost and resist.
Maybe I'll do it by e-mail instead. I know, I'm a non-confrontational wuss.
Whatever way I decide to do it, I need to do it really soon because I swore to myself come Hell or high water, I was resigning the next time I went in.
Work anxiety, you win...
My father actually took me and my sister to see that movie when it first came out in the theaters in the 1980s. I'm sure the theater staff thought he was crazy, but our family has always has a warped sense of humor. We didn't get all the jokes but we never asked Dad to explain them....and I don't think he would have anyway. It wasn't until many, many years later, that I fully understood every single thing in the movie.
I do remember my sister and I spent the rest of the day singing "The Inquisition." I still do sing it at times.
My father also took us to see Monty Python's The Meaning of Life in the theaters. But singing "Every Sperm is Sacred" doesn't go over well when you're in Catholic school.
Moving on to nursing news...
I'm still working on that Job #3 resignation plan. The letter is pretty much done. I've stop accepting any work requests using a variety of creative but true excuses. I'm back there next week so that's when I can make the resignation official. The immediate next step is the hardest: calling my friend/manager to let her know I'm leaving before I actually do it. I know she's going to try to talk me into staying...again: she was successful in doing that once before. She's going to be disappointed. But I need to let this job go, for my own sanity. I need to think about that first and foremost and resist.
Maybe I'll do it by e-mail instead. I know, I'm a non-confrontational wuss.
Whatever way I decide to do it, I need to do it really soon because I swore to myself come Hell or high water, I was resigning the next time I went in.
Work anxiety, you win...
January 30, 2017
In which Meriwhen shrinks, and crafts a resignation to boot
Since November, I've lost about 15 lb. I decided to try intermittent fasting...well, the Leangains method, since the idea of going 24 hours without any sort of food is inconceivable to me. Well, except that time I had my tonsils removed: I lived on ginger ale for a whole month because it was too painful to eat anything at all. I lost 30 lb. that month, but I don't recommend tonsillectomies as a weight loss method.
The all-the-ice-cream-you-can-eat thing is a myth, BTW. And if you can, get the tonsils out when you're a kid. I was 21 when I had mine removed. I'm still traumatized from the experience.
So Leangains....you fast 16 hours, eat 8 hours. So I don't eat at work and go right to sleep when I get home. I wake up and then I have 8 hours to eat what I want. I still try to eat sensibly though, but I do feel less deprived doing it this way than I would if I was counting calories and looking at forbidden foods.
So 15 lb done. 20+ to go. I'll be happy if I hit the low 160s. I'm tall, so I can carry 160s well.
Anyhow...
I officially decided to resign from Job #3. You know I've been on the fence about it for a while, and I was going to do it in November until my new supervisor happened to be a former coworker/friend who didn't want to see me go. So I held off and held on. I wasn't scheduled there at all in December, which made me realize how much I've been missing my days off. And the better half and little ones loved having me around more instead of hauling off to the day job after a full week of working nights.
Then I was a no-call/no-show at Job #3 in January.
I'm very meticulous with my work schedules, and often know them better than the schedulers. For some reason, the day I was scheduled for this month escaped me and my calendar. I didn't realize what happened until the scheduler called me to make sure I was alive (that's how meticulous I am--if I don't show up for work without calling off, they automatically assume I'm dead or on the way to death). I reassured her that I still had a pulse (74 bpm), then checked my e-mails...and found the one where I agreed to work that specific day. Still don't know how it got away from me.
But you know what? After finding out I was a no-call/no-show...I was strangely apathetic. I didn't seem bothered about missing work itself. I was more bothered that I didn't keep the calendar up. But as for not being there...I sometimes feel guilty calling off when sick and holding a doctor's note in hand. But I didn't feel guilty about this.
And so I realized that perhaps, it's time to let Job #3 go.
The problem is that I actually have to resign in person...well, via company intranet. So I have to wait until my next scheduled day in February (and yes, the calendar was triple-checked), and then go resign. I'm working on my letter that I'll fax over with the computer resignation explaining why I'm going. The official reason--and actually, the honest reason--will be that I am taking on more responsibilities at Job #1 and that I will no longer have the extra time to meet the PRN requirements. That is a story for another post.
I called Human Resources at Job #3. I only have to give 72 hours notice (really!). I plan give 3 weeks and work all the days I have scheduled in February. I will talk to my friend/supervisor first, to give her a heads-up so she's not blind-sided.
The all-the-ice-cream-you-can-eat thing is a myth, BTW. And if you can, get the tonsils out when you're a kid. I was 21 when I had mine removed. I'm still traumatized from the experience.
So Leangains....you fast 16 hours, eat 8 hours. So I don't eat at work and go right to sleep when I get home. I wake up and then I have 8 hours to eat what I want. I still try to eat sensibly though, but I do feel less deprived doing it this way than I would if I was counting calories and looking at forbidden foods.
So 15 lb done. 20+ to go. I'll be happy if I hit the low 160s. I'm tall, so I can carry 160s well.
Anyhow...
I officially decided to resign from Job #3. You know I've been on the fence about it for a while, and I was going to do it in November until my new supervisor happened to be a former coworker/friend who didn't want to see me go. So I held off and held on. I wasn't scheduled there at all in December, which made me realize how much I've been missing my days off. And the better half and little ones loved having me around more instead of hauling off to the day job after a full week of working nights.
Then I was a no-call/no-show at Job #3 in January.
I'm very meticulous with my work schedules, and often know them better than the schedulers. For some reason, the day I was scheduled for this month escaped me and my calendar. I didn't realize what happened until the scheduler called me to make sure I was alive (that's how meticulous I am--if I don't show up for work without calling off, they automatically assume I'm dead or on the way to death). I reassured her that I still had a pulse (74 bpm), then checked my e-mails...and found the one where I agreed to work that specific day. Still don't know how it got away from me.
But you know what? After finding out I was a no-call/no-show...I was strangely apathetic. I didn't seem bothered about missing work itself. I was more bothered that I didn't keep the calendar up. But as for not being there...I sometimes feel guilty calling off when sick and holding a doctor's note in hand. But I didn't feel guilty about this.
And so I realized that perhaps, it's time to let Job #3 go.
The problem is that I actually have to resign in person...well, via company intranet. So I have to wait until my next scheduled day in February (and yes, the calendar was triple-checked), and then go resign. I'm working on my letter that I'll fax over with the computer resignation explaining why I'm going. The official reason--and actually, the honest reason--will be that I am taking on more responsibilities at Job #1 and that I will no longer have the extra time to meet the PRN requirements. That is a story for another post.
I called Human Resources at Job #3. I only have to give 72 hours notice (really!). I plan give 3 weeks and work all the days I have scheduled in February. I will talk to my friend/supervisor first, to give her a heads-up so she's not blind-sided.
November 5, 2016
Decisions, decisions
I am involved in a work committee. I joined when I first became a permanent employee because I wanted to get involved and make an active contribution to the hospital's nursing practice...well, more contributions that my taking care of patients makes. It's been good. I've briefly served on other panels and committees, but this committee has really been an in-depth experience. I'm part of a project that will hopefully lead to a practice culture change on the floor.
The co-chairs are stepping down at the end of the year. One member has decided to take on the challenge and volunteered. He started training for the position. He's still a fairly green nurse--only 2 years in--but he's good at dealing with administration and the PR stuff. And he's ambitious and driven.
I was asked by one of the current chairs if I would consider being the other co-chair, because they felt I would be a good candidate: I have several years of experience, I'm certified and I'm relatively sane (she called it "level-headed"). I said I would consider it. And I still am. I do have to give an answer either way pretty soon.
On one hand, it would be good for the career, I could get even more involved and have more influence, and it's not forever. I get on all right with the new co-chair so there wouldn't be any personality conflicts, at least on my part. I'm also the only representative from nights, though that's no big surprise. Having to go to a meeting that is scheduled for 2 hours after you get off of work is quite the hassle. But at least the nights POV will be seriously considered in any of these projects.
On the other hand, it's extra work (albeit paid work), there's a lot of responsibility and duties involved, I would have to be awake during daylight hours more than I'd like, and it's not as though I can't stay involved in things as just a regular member. I also don't want to deal with administration any more than I have to. Though the one time I did have to speak to the hospital CEO--in front of a whole room of people, no less--I did a pretty good job. So my coworkers tell me.
If I could be the co-chair that stays in the background and maintains the machinery, while the other co-chair takes on the role of Suit and Spokesperson of the committee and deals with all the public things that I don't want to deal with, that could work.
I have to think about it.
On an unrelated note, when did my spell-checker decide to go all British English on me? I know I use a lot of British English phrases, but I do keep the spelling of things American English.
The co-chairs are stepping down at the end of the year. One member has decided to take on the challenge and volunteered. He started training for the position. He's still a fairly green nurse--only 2 years in--but he's good at dealing with administration and the PR stuff. And he's ambitious and driven.
I was asked by one of the current chairs if I would consider being the other co-chair, because they felt I would be a good candidate: I have several years of experience, I'm certified and I'm relatively sane (she called it "level-headed"). I said I would consider it. And I still am. I do have to give an answer either way pretty soon.
On one hand, it would be good for the career, I could get even more involved and have more influence, and it's not forever. I get on all right with the new co-chair so there wouldn't be any personality conflicts, at least on my part. I'm also the only representative from nights, though that's no big surprise. Having to go to a meeting that is scheduled for 2 hours after you get off of work is quite the hassle. But at least the nights POV will be seriously considered in any of these projects.
On the other hand, it's extra work (albeit paid work), there's a lot of responsibility and duties involved, I would have to be awake during daylight hours more than I'd like, and it's not as though I can't stay involved in things as just a regular member. I also don't want to deal with administration any more than I have to. Though the one time I did have to speak to the hospital CEO--in front of a whole room of people, no less--I did a pretty good job. So my coworkers tell me.
If I could be the co-chair that stays in the background and maintains the machinery, while the other co-chair takes on the role of Suit and Spokesperson of the committee and deals with all the public things that I don't want to deal with, that could work.
I have to think about it.
On an unrelated note, when did my spell-checker decide to go all British English on me? I know I use a lot of British English phrases, but I do keep the spelling of things American English.
October 28, 2016
Kamusta*
I have decided that I need to learn Tagalog. I work with a lot of Filipino nurses and their conversations often lapse into an English/Tagalog hybrid. And yes, I'm damn curious as to what they're saying. I'm not personally offended by being excluded from the conversation because of lack of Tagalog knowledge, I'm just curious.
Actually, given the high Filipino population in the area, learning Tagalog would probably be a wise move for me. Just like learning Spanish will be a boon in this area as well. I should consider Tagalog after I get Spanish down pat. I started working on that again...I thought that I didn't have the time to do it, so I made the time. I discovered that I can use my Rosetta Stone on both my cell phone and tablet, so now I spend my lunch breaks in an empty office saying random Spanish words into a microphone.
I used to walk around the hospital during lunch breaks, but now that I'm exercising more at home, I think I can skip doing laps around the campus.
I thought about refreshing the Italian (i.e., what comes out of my mouth when attempting to speak Spanish), but I don't think I would be able to put it to as much use. I don't know any Italian speakers to talk to in person; it would just be online. Whereas with Spanish--and Tagalog--I'd have plenty of people in-the-flesh to practice with.
* Or "Hello." Blame Google for any English-Tagalog mistranslation.
Actually, given the high Filipino population in the area, learning Tagalog would probably be a wise move for me. Just like learning Spanish will be a boon in this area as well. I should consider Tagalog after I get Spanish down pat. I started working on that again...I thought that I didn't have the time to do it, so I made the time. I discovered that I can use my Rosetta Stone on both my cell phone and tablet, so now I spend my lunch breaks in an empty office saying random Spanish words into a microphone.
I used to walk around the hospital during lunch breaks, but now that I'm exercising more at home, I think I can skip doing laps around the campus.
I thought about refreshing the Italian (i.e., what comes out of my mouth when attempting to speak Spanish), but I don't think I would be able to put it to as much use. I don't know any Italian speakers to talk to in person; it would just be online. Whereas with Spanish--and Tagalog--I'd have plenty of people in-the-flesh to practice with.
* Or "Hello." Blame Google for any English-Tagalog mistranslation.
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