Now that I know I'm withdrawing from school at the end of the semester, I have a really bad case of senioritis. Zero motivation whatsoever.
I decided to spend the next several months brushing up on my Spanish. First of all, where we're going has a high population of Spanish-speakers and some knowledge of Spanish would probably help me personally as well as professionally. Second, I can get back into those soap operas that I got hooked on when we lived on the Gulf Coast. Funny though...when I was watching those soaps, even though I only knew every fifth or sixth word I could tell you exactly what was going on. It'd be nice to move up to knowing every other word.
Showing posts with label uncategorized. Show all posts
Showing posts with label uncategorized. Show all posts
March 16, 2011
March 13, 2011
2736
2736 is the precise number of miles from our front door to the city limits of our new location.
I looked at the BON site for 2736. They are a lot more demanding than my current BON. It'll take a few months to get the endorsement, which is why I have to get the ball rolling now. But then there's a CEU requirement...not a problem this time as I have a whole bunch already from the pursuit of my RN-BC. But I'll have to stay on top of my CEUs for renewal time.
Lots of job listings come in from my indeed.com and CareerBuilder searches, and not just in psych nursing. IN fact, there are a lot of opportunities out there for nurses. Granted, I can go to the state forum for 2736 and read all the horror stories of how even experienced nurses can't find employment...and at the same time I also see a lot of success stories too. I'm not a new grad--I'm lightly seasoned, so I can apply for a lot more.
This raises the question: do I want to take this opportunity to scratch the med-surg itch?
The itch has been pretty quiet lately. Our unit is undergoing some changes and increasing in acuity, and we've had more than enough medical issues in the last few weeks to keep my interest up. But now I'm going to a place where there are lots of non-psych jobs abounding, and as a nurse with nearly 2 years' experience, I will be more competitive for them than the new grads are. And I could use a good year or two of med-surg to help with my psych nursing.
Decisions.
The other question is: do I apply for jobs now, or do I wait until I get out there, get settled and I can find childcare? We do have savings set aside, so it's not critical for me to have a job the minute I land there. Worst comes to worst, we'll go back to the budget tightening we did when I was in school so I could attend class and not need to work. But the cost of living in 2736 is much higher than where we are now. And the little one is in school, so it's not as though he would be home with me all day. So it'd be me at home alone...I could find things to fill my day, and not all of them would be good things. Such as drinking the day away, a not uncommon epidemic in the military community.
Decisions, decisions.
I did find that I already have one friend in 2736. She's been there for a while, so at least I'll have someone I know and can hang out with while I get my feet wet. And she is also a nurse, though not in psych. In fact, she was very excited when I became a nurse...so perhaps she can help me find something. I should drop her a note and let her know we're coming out there.
I looked at the BON site for 2736. They are a lot more demanding than my current BON. It'll take a few months to get the endorsement, which is why I have to get the ball rolling now. But then there's a CEU requirement...not a problem this time as I have a whole bunch already from the pursuit of my RN-BC. But I'll have to stay on top of my CEUs for renewal time.
Lots of job listings come in from my indeed.com and CareerBuilder searches, and not just in psych nursing. IN fact, there are a lot of opportunities out there for nurses. Granted, I can go to the state forum for 2736 and read all the horror stories of how even experienced nurses can't find employment...and at the same time I also see a lot of success stories too. I'm not a new grad--I'm lightly seasoned, so I can apply for a lot more.
This raises the question: do I want to take this opportunity to scratch the med-surg itch?
The itch has been pretty quiet lately. Our unit is undergoing some changes and increasing in acuity, and we've had more than enough medical issues in the last few weeks to keep my interest up. But now I'm going to a place where there are lots of non-psych jobs abounding, and as a nurse with nearly 2 years' experience, I will be more competitive for them than the new grads are. And I could use a good year or two of med-surg to help with my psych nursing.
Decisions.
The other question is: do I apply for jobs now, or do I wait until I get out there, get settled and I can find childcare? We do have savings set aside, so it's not critical for me to have a job the minute I land there. Worst comes to worst, we'll go back to the budget tightening we did when I was in school so I could attend class and not need to work. But the cost of living in 2736 is much higher than where we are now. And the little one is in school, so it's not as though he would be home with me all day. So it'd be me at home alone...I could find things to fill my day, and not all of them would be good things. Such as drinking the day away, a not uncommon epidemic in the military community.
Decisions, decisions.
I did find that I already have one friend in 2736. She's been there for a while, so at least I'll have someone I know and can hang out with while I get my feet wet. And she is also a nurse, though not in psych. In fact, she was very excited when I became a nurse...so perhaps she can help me find something. I should drop her a note and let her know we're coming out there.
March 12, 2011
2800
Long time, no write. Work and school are busy. I gave up on Weight Watchers for now...not that I'm embracing my weight. A lot has been going on in the last two months that I decided my weight was the least of my concerns. I had some mental health issues that are now under control. Then we'll discuss the 2800.
I decided it was time to see a shrink to deal with stuff. Fortunately in my line of work, I knew when I needed to seek help, what I need to do to tackle the problem and what medications I need--and didn't need. I also knew which doctor was the best for me to go to: I know enough about them from work but I don't see them that much at work that it could lead to awkwardness at work.
2800 is the rough number of miles I will be moving in the next several months. That's about the width of this country...so yes, I'm switching coasts for at least 3 years. It's not my idea. In fact, I was outright depressed upon hearing the news because that meant I'd have to leave my friends, my career, my school...and I'd be leaving right as I'm about to test for RN-BC. Our families aren't going to like it either. They just got one grandchild back within driving distance and now we're about to take the other one a country away. But when your better half is in the military, home is wherever they send you.
I have always had a bit of wanderlust in my soul and even with friends, family, etc., I always used to jump at the chance of moving to a new locale. But for some reason this time I'm not as enthusiastic. Maybe I'm getting older, more settled? Oh well. I passed through the five stages of grief pretty fast--one evening--so I'm starting to accept it. I don't like it yet, but I accept it's what I have to do. The Serenity Prayer is in my mind a lot lately and I'm not even an alcoholic yet.
I don't have anything official yet but the better half tells me it's a done deal, so I'm starting to prepare. I haven't told my job yet...I figure I have about 4-6 months before we go so there's no rush. I'm hoping it's closer to 6 because if I can make it to September I'm eligible to test for RN-BC. Otherwise I'll get the job first and then test. I did start looking at jobs out there and was delighted to find several psych facilities. And since I have to drop out of school, I started looking for other RN-BSN programs and found a couple that might work. I also need to get my license endorsed over, which will take several months. We do plan to return here so I'm not letting my current license lapse; I'll make it inactive if I have to.
I am finishing my current semester for two reasons. One, I'll need Public Speaking for any RN-BSN program I apply to so let me finish this puppy and get it over with. Second, the other class I'm taking is full of helpful information that I can use as a practicing RN, and there's also no tests or papers involved--the grade is strictly participation based. So let me finish it out and learn from it.
I decided it was time to see a shrink to deal with stuff. Fortunately in my line of work, I knew when I needed to seek help, what I need to do to tackle the problem and what medications I need--and didn't need. I also knew which doctor was the best for me to go to: I know enough about them from work but I don't see them that much at work that it could lead to awkwardness at work.
2800 is the rough number of miles I will be moving in the next several months. That's about the width of this country...so yes, I'm switching coasts for at least 3 years. It's not my idea. In fact, I was outright depressed upon hearing the news because that meant I'd have to leave my friends, my career, my school...and I'd be leaving right as I'm about to test for RN-BC. Our families aren't going to like it either. They just got one grandchild back within driving distance and now we're about to take the other one a country away. But when your better half is in the military, home is wherever they send you.
I have always had a bit of wanderlust in my soul and even with friends, family, etc., I always used to jump at the chance of moving to a new locale. But for some reason this time I'm not as enthusiastic. Maybe I'm getting older, more settled? Oh well. I passed through the five stages of grief pretty fast--one evening--so I'm starting to accept it. I don't like it yet, but I accept it's what I have to do. The Serenity Prayer is in my mind a lot lately and I'm not even an alcoholic yet.
I don't have anything official yet but the better half tells me it's a done deal, so I'm starting to prepare. I haven't told my job yet...I figure I have about 4-6 months before we go so there's no rush. I'm hoping it's closer to 6 because if I can make it to September I'm eligible to test for RN-BC. Otherwise I'll get the job first and then test. I did start looking at jobs out there and was delighted to find several psych facilities. And since I have to drop out of school, I started looking for other RN-BSN programs and found a couple that might work. I also need to get my license endorsed over, which will take several months. We do plan to return here so I'm not letting my current license lapse; I'll make it inactive if I have to.
I am finishing my current semester for two reasons. One, I'll need Public Speaking for any RN-BSN program I apply to so let me finish this puppy and get it over with. Second, the other class I'm taking is full of helpful information that I can use as a practicing RN, and there's also no tests or papers involved--the grade is strictly participation based. So let me finish it out and learn from it.
January 29, 2011
Finally broke 190
189.2. After about two weeks of trying to eat better, I didn't think I was ever going to break 190, but today I finally did. Partially due to smarter eating, and partially due to not eating at work since it's so busy and I don't get a break. I'm trying to break that habit though since it's not a healthy one. At the least, I'm no longer using not eating as an excuse to pig out with drive-through Wendy's after my shift...though some days I am very tempted.
I'm not exercising anywhere as much as I should be...though I am playing a lot more on the WiiFit with my son. He's discovered all of these FitPlus activities that are pretty fun and after watching him play them, I was motivated to try them out. I'm not exactly breaking up a sweat while playing them, but I am moving more.
I'm supposedly going to have an orientee nurse this coming week. I'm trying to be optimistic, especially since I briefly met her and she looked entirely non-plussed to be assigned to my unit. We'll see what happens though...hopefully it'll turn out better than I hope. My unit tends to scare a lot of nurses off...those who survive do very well, but not many survive long. It's usually the staffing issues and the workload--as in they'll be doing a lot more than they would on other units--that scares them in the end.
I'm not exercising anywhere as much as I should be...though I am playing a lot more on the WiiFit with my son. He's discovered all of these FitPlus activities that are pretty fun and after watching him play them, I was motivated to try them out. I'm not exactly breaking up a sweat while playing them, but I am moving more.
I'm supposedly going to have an orientee nurse this coming week. I'm trying to be optimistic, especially since I briefly met her and she looked entirely non-plussed to be assigned to my unit. We'll see what happens though...hopefully it'll turn out better than I hope. My unit tends to scare a lot of nurses off...those who survive do very well, but not many survive long. It's usually the staffing issues and the workload--as in they'll be doing a lot more than they would on other units--that scares them in the end.
January 23, 2011
Not my problem
Week 1 of the diet...er, lifestyle change resulted in me going down nearly 4 lbs. I haven't broken 190 yet--in fact, I was at 190.0. But it's a start. I give myself one day to sin (i.e., no point tracking whatsoever) and behave the other 6. Now I need to start getting more active.
We're short-staffed on our unit and work's answer is to call asking me to fill in all sorts of shifts. They left two messages in less than one day about different shifts, always going on about how it's a "crisis" and can I come in. I've declined politely explaining that I already have plans...which is true for the most part. Some of those plans may involve me flopping on a pillow with a good book, but they are plans nonetheless.
But seriously...the staffing problem isn't mine to fix. I'm not a supervisor, management, etc...I'm nothing but a staff nurse. I'm fulfilling my hourly requirement and then some, so why should I kill myself to do more because there is a "crisis"...which a majority of the time isn't really a crisis, but some PRN nurse whining and pouting because she doesn't want to be on that unit. I'm doing what I've been paid to do and I'm doing it well, and IMO the time away from work should be mine. They need to get more nurses assgined to our unit staff, and that's all there is to it.
We're short-staffed on our unit and work's answer is to call asking me to fill in all sorts of shifts. They left two messages in less than one day about different shifts, always going on about how it's a "crisis" and can I come in. I've declined politely explaining that I already have plans...which is true for the most part. Some of those plans may involve me flopping on a pillow with a good book, but they are plans nonetheless.
But seriously...the staffing problem isn't mine to fix. I'm not a supervisor, management, etc...I'm nothing but a staff nurse. I'm fulfilling my hourly requirement and then some, so why should I kill myself to do more because there is a "crisis"...which a majority of the time isn't really a crisis, but some PRN nurse whining and pouting because she doesn't want to be on that unit. I'm doing what I've been paid to do and I'm doing it well, and IMO the time away from work should be mine. They need to get more nurses assgined to our unit staff, and that's all there is to it.
January 11, 2011
Bah
One of my courses was cancelled for reasons unknown--apparently the school was as surprised about it as we were--and rescheduled for the fall. My other class is really more of a one-credit weekly meeting of the minds (i.e., no tests, no papers) than a class. I looked at my schedule for the next four semesters and realized that with this cancellation, this semester would be the perfect time to knock off one of the two non-nursing classes that I am still required to complete.
So I enrolled in an online public speaking class at the local CC. There was one class open with one seat left, and I grabbed it. I'm a day late since it started on Monday, and I may not have access to the class itself until Thursday, so I'm already going to start off at the rear of the pack. Fortunately it being an online class there is a degree of flexibility, and I'll have the textbook by tomorrow.
I started walking on the treadmill on my days off. Of course, I'm still getting horrible chub rub, but I'm using lots of protectant on my thighs at each walk and hoping for the best. I have also been trying to eat better...I'm trying not to say the word "diet" since that immediately makes me hungry.
The work environment has become more stressful...for whatever reason management is on edge and is taking it out on the workers. So far my struggles have all been with staffing, as in I never get enough to help me out.
As far as myself goes, this week--the whole month, in fact--does promise to be stressful personally. Family seperation. I've been doing my best to keep a stiff upper lip for everyone and save the sadness for when I'm alone. I guess that's the other reason why I jumped at taking another class online: something else to keep me occupied, Also, there is the fact that I don't want to be slammed with classes and clinicals in the upcoming semesters, especially since the one class being moved to the fall killed my plans to take a non-nursing class at that time too.
At the same time, part of me says to just not worry about taking any class now or the extra classes later, and focus on the little one, myself and work for the next few months. And that does sound tempting. But I compromised and took a whole-semester class, not a condensed half-semester one. That way, everything is spread out over several months and I'm not going at breakneck speed through everything. And I have until Monday to decide if I want to drop it and retake it later.
So I enrolled in an online public speaking class at the local CC. There was one class open with one seat left, and I grabbed it. I'm a day late since it started on Monday, and I may not have access to the class itself until Thursday, so I'm already going to start off at the rear of the pack. Fortunately it being an online class there is a degree of flexibility, and I'll have the textbook by tomorrow.
I started walking on the treadmill on my days off. Of course, I'm still getting horrible chub rub, but I'm using lots of protectant on my thighs at each walk and hoping for the best. I have also been trying to eat better...I'm trying not to say the word "diet" since that immediately makes me hungry.
The work environment has become more stressful...for whatever reason management is on edge and is taking it out on the workers. So far my struggles have all been with staffing, as in I never get enough to help me out.
As far as myself goes, this week--the whole month, in fact--does promise to be stressful personally. Family seperation. I've been doing my best to keep a stiff upper lip for everyone and save the sadness for when I'm alone. I guess that's the other reason why I jumped at taking another class online: something else to keep me occupied, Also, there is the fact that I don't want to be slammed with classes and clinicals in the upcoming semesters, especially since the one class being moved to the fall killed my plans to take a non-nursing class at that time too.
At the same time, part of me says to just not worry about taking any class now or the extra classes later, and focus on the little one, myself and work for the next few months. And that does sound tempting. But I compromised and took a whole-semester class, not a condensed half-semester one. That way, everything is spread out over several months and I'm not going at breakneck speed through everything. And I have until Monday to decide if I want to drop it and retake it later.
January 3, 2011
Getting ready to do this student thing again
I just ordered my textbooks and clincal uniforms for the upcoming semester. I got the top in two sizes as I'm not sure which size will fit me, and as much as I am flattered by the website's guestimate of my size based on my measurements, there is no way in hell that I am a Medium. For starters, the guesser only goes by bust sizes--which may be a Medium--and does not consider hip size. And hips I have!
I got a Large and Extra Large tops (I'll trade the loser in), and Large unisex pants (I know from experience purchasing unisex pants that I'm not an XL). Lab coat is supposed to be larger so I went with Women's Extra Large.
The last of my family leaves in two days. A thorough reassessment of my diet and exercise habits will commence in 3 days.
I got a Large and Extra Large tops (I'll trade the loser in), and Large unisex pants (I know from experience purchasing unisex pants that I'm not an XL). Lab coat is supposed to be larger so I went with Women's Extra Large.
The last of my family leaves in two days. A thorough reassessment of my diet and exercise habits will commence in 3 days.
January 2, 2011
Hmm...
Happy new year!
Someone asked me if I might have said anything to my PCP that could have been misconstrued as SI. No, I didn't say anything to my PCP, even in jest, that could be construed as being SI. I was too busy trying to stay warm while fantasizing about a Wawa breakfast sandwich.
Anyhow, followed up with the PCP. More SI interrogation...no, they didn't hand me the Zoloft script, but I was told that if I felt down or needed anything to not hesitate to call them. I'm not sure if they're convinced...I mean, it's nice they are so concerned but I did say I was fine. Several times.
I have to admit that I have a deeper insight into some of my patients now. It's kind of weird being asked these questions, especially when SI was the last thing on my mind...and then feeling like people don't believe me when I tell them I'm fine. Not that I'm going to start taking my patients' word automatically, but I will remember how I was feeling when I was on their end.
Interesting note: they quizzed me on antianxiety medication use (no), psych medication use (no), and sleep aid use (occasionally diphenhydramine but even then, once a month max)...but didn't ask me about alcohol or illegal drug use. An omission that as a psych nurse I couldn't help but pick up on. Mind you, if they asked, I'd have had to answer "yes" (alcohol only) and I'm sure that would have really sent them over the edge. Oy.
Work changes...staffing shakeups. The new year has not gotten off to a smooth start at my facility. Fortunately, I have a schedule that is giving me some nice long stretches off.
Someone asked me if I might have said anything to my PCP that could have been misconstrued as SI. No, I didn't say anything to my PCP, even in jest, that could be construed as being SI. I was too busy trying to stay warm while fantasizing about a Wawa breakfast sandwich.
Anyhow, followed up with the PCP. More SI interrogation...no, they didn't hand me the Zoloft script, but I was told that if I felt down or needed anything to not hesitate to call them. I'm not sure if they're convinced...I mean, it's nice they are so concerned but I did say I was fine. Several times.
I have to admit that I have a deeper insight into some of my patients now. It's kind of weird being asked these questions, especially when SI was the last thing on my mind...and then feeling like people don't believe me when I tell them I'm fine. Not that I'm going to start taking my patients' word automatically, but I will remember how I was feeling when I was on their end.
Interesting note: they quizzed me on antianxiety medication use (no), psych medication use (no), and sleep aid use (occasionally diphenhydramine but even then, once a month max)...but didn't ask me about alcohol or illegal drug use. An omission that as a psych nurse I couldn't help but pick up on. Mind you, if they asked, I'd have had to answer "yes" (alcohol only) and I'm sure that would have really sent them over the edge. Oy.
Work changes...staffing shakeups. The new year has not gotten off to a smooth start at my facility. Fortunately, I have a schedule that is giving me some nice long stretches off.
December 30, 2010
So my PCP thinks I'm suicidal
I went for some follow-up blood work last week and asked my PCP to throw in a thyroid panel since I had been so cold intolerant. Didn't think anything was seriously wrong with me...I was just feeling the cold worse than I usually do. I also was tired, yes, but I had no sleep the night before. And I was a mite hungry since it was a fasting blood test. Maybe I wasn't the most chipper patient, but I certainly wasn't manifesting any signs of SI.
So I get a call on Christmas Day and it's my PCP following up on "my feeling down." I reassure her that I wasn't feeling down; I was cold, tired and hungry that day. I told her that I work as a psych nurse and I do understand her concern, especially since depression and suicide rates go up at this time of year. I also asked how my blood work was, and it was fantastic. The Zocor is working wonders.
Today I get a letter in the mail: please follow up with the PCP re my condition. Now I'm nervous...did the nurse not have my right lab results? So I call and ask what is going on. Turns out that apparently the PCP had wanted me to return in one week to follow-up on my "malaise." Either he didn't tell me, or did tell me but I was too cold, tired and hungry to remember. When I didn't show on that day, the phone call was made (and that nurse who called didn't mention anything about needing a follow-up) and the letter generated.
Meanwhile, this nurse is interrogating me: am I feeling OK? Feeling depressed? Thoughts of hurting myself or anyone else? Can I please return in the next couple of days just to follow up and make sure everything is good.
My first reaction was, "Oh, this is how it sounds when I ask my patients those same questions." It was weird being on the other end of that conversation.
I reassure this nurse that yes, I'm fine, no SI, no HI, will come by in the next two days, cross my heart and hope to...no I didn't say the last part. But I will be spending my New Year's Eve at my PCP's reassuring them that I'm not about to off myself. I'm worried though...they're so serious about it, I'll bet I find myself being handed a script for Zoloft with a "let's just try it out and see what happens."
So I get a call on Christmas Day and it's my PCP following up on "my feeling down." I reassure her that I wasn't feeling down; I was cold, tired and hungry that day. I told her that I work as a psych nurse and I do understand her concern, especially since depression and suicide rates go up at this time of year. I also asked how my blood work was, and it was fantastic. The Zocor is working wonders.
Today I get a letter in the mail: please follow up with the PCP re my condition. Now I'm nervous...did the nurse not have my right lab results? So I call and ask what is going on. Turns out that apparently the PCP had wanted me to return in one week to follow-up on my "malaise." Either he didn't tell me, or did tell me but I was too cold, tired and hungry to remember. When I didn't show on that day, the phone call was made (and that nurse who called didn't mention anything about needing a follow-up) and the letter generated.
Meanwhile, this nurse is interrogating me: am I feeling OK? Feeling depressed? Thoughts of hurting myself or anyone else? Can I please return in the next couple of days just to follow up and make sure everything is good.
My first reaction was, "Oh, this is how it sounds when I ask my patients those same questions." It was weird being on the other end of that conversation.
I reassure this nurse that yes, I'm fine, no SI, no HI, will come by in the next two days, cross my heart and hope to...no I didn't say the last part. But I will be spending my New Year's Eve at my PCP's reassuring them that I'm not about to off myself. I'm worried though...they're so serious about it, I'll bet I find myself being handed a script for Zoloft with a "let's just try it out and see what happens."
December 29, 2010
At least it was a nice thought
I'm always tickled when I go to the doctor's office (any doctor, really) and they plunk me on the scale: without fail, they start out by moving the bottom bar to 100.
"Thanks for the compliment, but start at 150."
At least I haven't hit the point where they have to start with the bottom bar at 200, though I've come close. Today at the gynecologist's office (I know, why are they weighing me there?), I came in at 198. In my defense, this was after breakfast and coffee and while fully dressed, shoes included. And things aren't that bad if I can still fit into Lane Bryant size 14. Seriously, I love that store: it's the only place in the world where I can fit into their smallest size of clothing.
Anyhow, I have no intention of stepping on my own scale until the last of my family leaves on the 4th. Until then, I'm just doing my best to eat sane...which has not been easy. I also started exercising again. I got on the treadmill today and put in 30 minutes of brisk walking. I felt pretty good afterwards...until the chub rub started burning. So much so that I had been planning to walk again tomorrow but now I'm rethinking it.
Oh well. I didn't get like this overnight, and I'm not going to undo it overnight.
The nursing part of the entry: I'm off for a few days, which is nice. My last day in I had to take care of the kiddies: the kids' unit day nurse called off so enter Meriwhen, the hospital's professional floater. It was a nice day. We didn't have a lot of snotty kids, but several newbies for a change...and one frequent flyer who is truly psychotic. The last time we met (during a prior admission) I was administering a shot to him. This time around he was more cooperative...but psychotic enough that working with him was a challenge. Time to bring out the psych textbook and refresh myself on a few topics.
"Thanks for the compliment, but start at 150."
At least I haven't hit the point where they have to start with the bottom bar at 200, though I've come close. Today at the gynecologist's office (I know, why are they weighing me there?), I came in at 198. In my defense, this was after breakfast and coffee and while fully dressed, shoes included. And things aren't that bad if I can still fit into Lane Bryant size 14. Seriously, I love that store: it's the only place in the world where I can fit into their smallest size of clothing.
Anyhow, I have no intention of stepping on my own scale until the last of my family leaves on the 4th. Until then, I'm just doing my best to eat sane...which has not been easy. I also started exercising again. I got on the treadmill today and put in 30 minutes of brisk walking. I felt pretty good afterwards...until the chub rub started burning. So much so that I had been planning to walk again tomorrow but now I'm rethinking it.
Oh well. I didn't get like this overnight, and I'm not going to undo it overnight.
The nursing part of the entry: I'm off for a few days, which is nice. My last day in I had to take care of the kiddies: the kids' unit day nurse called off so enter Meriwhen, the hospital's professional floater. It was a nice day. We didn't have a lot of snotty kids, but several newbies for a change...and one frequent flyer who is truly psychotic. The last time we met (during a prior admission) I was administering a shot to him. This time around he was more cooperative...but psychotic enough that working with him was a challenge. Time to bring out the psych textbook and refresh myself on a few topics.
December 22, 2010
Giving up for now
Decided that I'm just going to be fat and happy until after all the family leaves in early January, instead of trying to starve myself, overexert myself or beat myself up. Doesn't mean I'm going to give myself license to overindulge...but I'm not going to stress over it.
Having said that to myself...I feel better about myself. I'm still overweight but I'm temporarily at peace with it. Being at peace is a nice feeling, one that I haven't felt in a while.
Got my blood work back. My cholesterol is back down to normal range: 184. My thyroid is fine. Waiting to hear from my doc to see if he still wants me on the simvastatin.
Having said that to myself...I feel better about myself. I'm still overweight but I'm temporarily at peace with it. Being at peace is a nice feeling, one that I haven't felt in a while.
Got my blood work back. My cholesterol is back down to normal range: 184. My thyroid is fine. Waiting to hear from my doc to see if he still wants me on the simvastatin.
December 13, 2010
So...
Got my student ID. A very unflattering picture of me...but usually IDs are not meant to flattering. And another visual reminder that I have to lose weight. I'm trying to be good about what I'm eating...starvation isn't going to work, either physically or mentally. I'm aiming for just being sensible.
The school's lab also lost my UDS. Fortunately for me, I have ths slip from the lab verifying that I did take the UDS and that they have accepted my sample as legitimate. Not sure what will happen next...unless they find the sample between now and orientation, I'll probably have to retest. I'm not worried about any test as I know my sample will be clean, except possibly for some alcohol depending on whether I had a glass of wine the night before...and last I checked, I'm well over 21 and alcohol isn't illegal. But I still feel like a criminal whenever I do a UDS. Plus the fact I feel like the school thinks I'm sketchy, especially when they're told that I never showed for my drug screen when I actually did. Oh well, that will get straightened out at orientation.
I guess once I go to orientation this week, I will officially be a nursing student...again. The pre-reqs are over: now it's time to get down and dirty. Well, OK, most of the pre-reqs are over: I still need to take History and Public Speaking. But now the nursing program starts in earnest.
I have to admit I'm slightly apprehensive starting in a BSN program that is still undergoing CCNE review. I'm reassured by a few things: first, their diploma program is/was certified and received glowing reviews (too bad I could not afford to attend it the first time around). Second, I already have a degree from a NLNAC certified school so there will never be a question of me being able to obtain licensure and/or work (as far as certified schools go anyway). Third, once the school is approved it's retroactive, and that would cover me. Fourth, the MSN/CNS program I'm looking at has a RN-MSN option, so even if things entirely go south with this school's accreditation, I can use that to apply instead of the BSN-MSN option. And last, being a graduate of the school will give me some priority when applying for jobs within the organization's hospitals.
So at orientation I will meet the other RN-BSNs. I heard it's a small group: only 12 or so. That'll be nice.
The school's lab also lost my UDS. Fortunately for me, I have ths slip from the lab verifying that I did take the UDS and that they have accepted my sample as legitimate. Not sure what will happen next...unless they find the sample between now and orientation, I'll probably have to retest. I'm not worried about any test as I know my sample will be clean, except possibly for some alcohol depending on whether I had a glass of wine the night before...and last I checked, I'm well over 21 and alcohol isn't illegal. But I still feel like a criminal whenever I do a UDS. Plus the fact I feel like the school thinks I'm sketchy, especially when they're told that I never showed for my drug screen when I actually did. Oh well, that will get straightened out at orientation.
I guess once I go to orientation this week, I will officially be a nursing student...again. The pre-reqs are over: now it's time to get down and dirty. Well, OK, most of the pre-reqs are over: I still need to take History and Public Speaking. But now the nursing program starts in earnest.
I have to admit I'm slightly apprehensive starting in a BSN program that is still undergoing CCNE review. I'm reassured by a few things: first, their diploma program is/was certified and received glowing reviews (too bad I could not afford to attend it the first time around). Second, I already have a degree from a NLNAC certified school so there will never be a question of me being able to obtain licensure and/or work (as far as certified schools go anyway). Third, once the school is approved it's retroactive, and that would cover me. Fourth, the MSN/CNS program I'm looking at has a RN-MSN option, so even if things entirely go south with this school's accreditation, I can use that to apply instead of the BSN-MSN option. And last, being a graduate of the school will give me some priority when applying for jobs within the organization's hospitals.
So at orientation I will meet the other RN-BSNs. I heard it's a small group: only 12 or so. That'll be nice.
December 11, 2010
Yeah, I know
A patient asked me if I was pregnant. I told her No, I was just fat. She apologized and said that based on how my ID was tilted, she thought I was expecting. It didn't bother me...but it did remind me that I need to get serious about losing a little weight. I've fallen into the overweight nurses trap. Actually, I weigh what I did when I graduated a year ago. I guess more of it has shifted to the belly area.
But it's hard to do that in December: the month starts off with my birthday, then leads right in holiday parties, holiday gift baskets from doctors, patients and other facilities, Christmas and home cooking, and New Year's and eating out. Plus the parents, who cook VERY well...and the in-laws, who love their food and drink. It's hard to lose weight under those culinary conditions.
In all fairness, I don't have to just diet. I can exercise...which I haven't been doing as I've been recovering from an injury. But now that the injury is healed...but the problem there is the little one: I spend all day away from my child while at work, that the last thing I want to do is plunk him in childcare while I go exercise. And when he's gone to bed...well, then it's really too late to get any exercise in, not if I want to go to sleep at a decent hour so I can wake up pre-dawn for work.
*sigh*
I do need to be better about both though. I heard Weight Watchers revamped their plan and since I'm still a member, I thought I'd go over and check it out. And I can make an effort to move more...I'm doing that already at work. But at home, I can get on the treadmill for 30 minutes while the little one watches some television or plays a computer game.
But it's hard to do that in December: the month starts off with my birthday, then leads right in holiday parties, holiday gift baskets from doctors, patients and other facilities, Christmas and home cooking, and New Year's and eating out. Plus the parents, who cook VERY well...and the in-laws, who love their food and drink. It's hard to lose weight under those culinary conditions.
In all fairness, I don't have to just diet. I can exercise...which I haven't been doing as I've been recovering from an injury. But now that the injury is healed...but the problem there is the little one: I spend all day away from my child while at work, that the last thing I want to do is plunk him in childcare while I go exercise. And when he's gone to bed...well, then it's really too late to get any exercise in, not if I want to go to sleep at a decent hour so I can wake up pre-dawn for work.
*sigh*
I do need to be better about both though. I heard Weight Watchers revamped their plan and since I'm still a member, I thought I'd go over and check it out. And I can make an effort to move more...I'm doing that already at work. But at home, I can get on the treadmill for 30 minutes while the little one watches some television or plays a computer game.
December 10, 2010
Renewed
Today is my birthday. Celebrate with me by hugging a ball of wool.
This was the week from hell, and yet I thank God for it because it renewed my faith in psychiatric nursing. Because my unit's census was low, I was floated to stepdown at the beginning of the week. There, I got to work with some truly psychotic patients: paranoia, active hallucinations, bizarre thoughts, ideas of reference...stuff that I hardly see on the detox or depressive units unless the patient is admitted while under the influence. It took a little bit to switch from "high-functioning patient" mode to "psychotic patient" mode, but it all came back to me. Those days were tough as hell, but I thoroughly enjoyed it.
I worked one of those days with the director of the stepdown unit. I had told her that I was enjoying my time there because lately I felt the urge to get a med-surg job but being here made me feel better about psych again. She asked me why I wanted a med-surg job and I told her "just because it's expected you do it when you first get out." She said that I didn't need it, especially if I didn't want it. She also told me that she went straight from nursing school to psych 14 years ago, had no problems ever finding work, and never regretted it. So that was a big boost.
Then I got sent to the ICU. Things were really hopping there: it was as though they found the most actively psychotic patients in town and wheeled them in. I actually went there in a tech capacity since I was the extra nurse, so except for a couple of assessments, all I had to do was tech work...so I was really in the trenches. I had to set a lot of boundaries, including telling one to keep his hands off of me, but it was a good challenge.
I finished the week off in the kids' unit. Calmer patient population, except for one very histrionic, paranoid, delusional teenage boy. I have to give it to the techs on the kids' unit: they know their stuff. The kid was violent and screaming (and strong!), yet no code was needed as I gave the shot. It was a little frustrating as for all my therapeutic communicating skills I could not persuade him to take the medication PO...but that's the nature of the psych nursing beast: sometimes you can talk them down, sometimes you have to shoot them down.
Now I have a LONG weekend ahead of me to relax. I treated myself to twelve hours of sleep for my birthday, and it was the best gift I could get after this week. Third best was the week itself. Second best will be whatever I decide to buy myself today.
This was the week from hell, and yet I thank God for it because it renewed my faith in psychiatric nursing. Because my unit's census was low, I was floated to stepdown at the beginning of the week. There, I got to work with some truly psychotic patients: paranoia, active hallucinations, bizarre thoughts, ideas of reference...stuff that I hardly see on the detox or depressive units unless the patient is admitted while under the influence. It took a little bit to switch from "high-functioning patient" mode to "psychotic patient" mode, but it all came back to me. Those days were tough as hell, but I thoroughly enjoyed it.
I worked one of those days with the director of the stepdown unit. I had told her that I was enjoying my time there because lately I felt the urge to get a med-surg job but being here made me feel better about psych again. She asked me why I wanted a med-surg job and I told her "just because it's expected you do it when you first get out." She said that I didn't need it, especially if I didn't want it. She also told me that she went straight from nursing school to psych 14 years ago, had no problems ever finding work, and never regretted it. So that was a big boost.
Then I got sent to the ICU. Things were really hopping there: it was as though they found the most actively psychotic patients in town and wheeled them in. I actually went there in a tech capacity since I was the extra nurse, so except for a couple of assessments, all I had to do was tech work...so I was really in the trenches. I had to set a lot of boundaries, including telling one to keep his hands off of me, but it was a good challenge.
I finished the week off in the kids' unit. Calmer patient population, except for one very histrionic, paranoid, delusional teenage boy. I have to give it to the techs on the kids' unit: they know their stuff. The kid was violent and screaming (and strong!), yet no code was needed as I gave the shot. It was a little frustrating as for all my therapeutic communicating skills I could not persuade him to take the medication PO...but that's the nature of the psych nursing beast: sometimes you can talk them down, sometimes you have to shoot them down.
Now I have a LONG weekend ahead of me to relax. I treated myself to twelve hours of sleep for my birthday, and it was the best gift I could get after this week. Third best was the week itself. Second best will be whatever I decide to buy myself today.
November 30, 2010
Life on the depressive unit
The most recent BSN class is drawing to a close...after the hell that was Informatics, Diversity was a breather: 1/4th the weekly workload and only two main projects. Though I will admit that I didn't get as much out of Diversity as I did the other class...because I didn't have to do as much work. Go fig. The next two semesters will be fun: two classes at the same time for each. Plus at one point, I need to figure out how I'm going to squeeze one of my two remaining liberal arts classes in there.
I'm back to floating. It's not my idea, though I don't mind it. But whenever a nurse is needed somewhere and they look at our unit to provide it, I'm the one who gets sent . It gives me experience and cheers me up, because I get to see different patient populations...which is nice when I'm feeling a bit down on psych nursing and wondering if I should attempt to break into med-surg. The experiences remind me why I like psych in the first place.
Speaking of first places, the first place they always send me: the depressive unit. This is where all of the "sad" people go. It's mostly depression, SI with or without a plan, actual suicide attempts, and the temporarily detained. Lots of drama. Lots of personality disorders. Lots of tears. Lots of medication seekers who are after the benzos and Schedule II/III narcs.
Floating is definitely a good chance to keep the therapeutic communication skills sharp. Whereas in detox I can be blunt, use the word "why", and break half of the rules in the communication book because most of our patient population are frequent flyers and we've been through this dance several times before.
I have to admit it can be hard. I guess that's because sometimes I expect it'll be like the textbook: have a 1:1, talk to them, teach them a bit and boom, patient is 20 times better and no longer depressed/suicidal/crying. It's amazing what can be accomplished in the world of textbook nursing. For the most part, the patients do feel better after the 1:1...but their problems aren't solved and they're not all cured. And I know this. And I know I can't solve all of their problems and say some magic words and boom, all happy. But sometimes I do wish it was that easy.
Even though the depressive unit isn't really a place for psychosis, occasionally some sneaks in. I got to see a couple of psychotic issues I haven't seen in a while. Audio hallucinations (more of the background commentary type than the "kill them!" type), thought blocking, paranoia, and mania. Good opportunity to refresh my skills in dealing with those issues too.
I dug the psych textbooks out, and I'm making it a point to read up on at least one thing a day...both to help me at work and to help me start preparing for the board certification exam. Granted, I have several months to prepare, but with the BSN and everything else going on, best I start some of it now.
I'm back to floating. It's not my idea, though I don't mind it. But whenever a nurse is needed somewhere and they look at our unit to provide it, I'm the one who gets sent . It gives me experience and cheers me up, because I get to see different patient populations...which is nice when I'm feeling a bit down on psych nursing and wondering if I should attempt to break into med-surg. The experiences remind me why I like psych in the first place.
Speaking of first places, the first place they always send me: the depressive unit. This is where all of the "sad" people go. It's mostly depression, SI with or without a plan, actual suicide attempts, and the temporarily detained. Lots of drama. Lots of personality disorders. Lots of tears. Lots of medication seekers who are after the benzos and Schedule II/III narcs.
Floating is definitely a good chance to keep the therapeutic communication skills sharp. Whereas in detox I can be blunt, use the word "why", and break half of the rules in the communication book because most of our patient population are frequent flyers and we've been through this dance several times before.
I have to admit it can be hard. I guess that's because sometimes I expect it'll be like the textbook: have a 1:1, talk to them, teach them a bit and boom, patient is 20 times better and no longer depressed/suicidal/crying. It's amazing what can be accomplished in the world of textbook nursing. For the most part, the patients do feel better after the 1:1...but their problems aren't solved and they're not all cured. And I know this. And I know I can't solve all of their problems and say some magic words and boom, all happy. But sometimes I do wish it was that easy.
Even though the depressive unit isn't really a place for psychosis, occasionally some sneaks in. I got to see a couple of psychotic issues I haven't seen in a while. Audio hallucinations (more of the background commentary type than the "kill them!" type), thought blocking, paranoia, and mania. Good opportunity to refresh my skills in dealing with those issues too.
I dug the psych textbooks out, and I'm making it a point to read up on at least one thing a day...both to help me at work and to help me start preparing for the board certification exam. Granted, I have several months to prepare, but with the BSN and everything else going on, best I start some of it now.
November 19, 2010
Schoolwork doldrums
Have to do a paper over the Thanksgiving day holiday...going to try and see if I can whack most of it out the Wednesday before. Then all I will have to do is proofread and tweak as needed. I hadn't wanted to take schoolwork with me on the holiday trip but life's like that. Oh well. I also need to get my paperwork over to the office before the holiday.
November 18, 2010
CEUs
I need 30 psychiatric CEUs for my certification. I also need to actually be working for two years, but I figure that if I start knocking the CEUs out now, I can test as soon as I cross the big 0-2. Also, I'm starting so soon because I'm trying to find as many free CEUs as possible. The APNA is hooking me up with a few, and I'm sure I can dredge up a few free ones through the ANA and other sources. I have a feeling that even with my best efforts I'll have to pay for a few of them. Oh well.
August 17, 2010
Staffing
As of this month, there's no longer any question about it: I'm no longer a new grad in any way, shape or form. I've got one year's experience...I'm very lightly seasoned. The marinating is far from over though.
I've got a permanent position on my unit, though I circulate to other units as needed. I get lots of compliments on my work, most of the other staff like me, and TPTB are working with me on my schedule in the fall when the little sheep starts school. I've gotten a little resentment from a few people because I ended up with mostly day shifts in my schedule even though I've only been there a year. But in my defense, detox is the unit most other staff DON'T want to go to for whatever reason. I don't understand why...OK, it's shorter-staffed and a lot busier than the other units, but it's a great place to work IMO.
Anyhow...
We've had some staff turnover lately (some voluntarily, some not) so there seems to be a lot of staff trying to shift shifts lately. Several of the night people have gone to evenings or 12s. A few evening people have tried to go to more days but with less success, since every unit has a pretty much solid day shift staff. A few staff were willing to cross over to other units for better shifts but found that though they may have had more years' seniority working in the place, that seniority didn't cross over when it came to the units--the unit's original staff got preference even if they were there as long. This is one reason why I was able to keep mostly days.
Overall, staffing still needs work. I saw in the papers that they're massively recruiting again. I'm less insecure about being bumped than I used to be, partially because I am permanent staff now. But I always fear that some other nurse is going to come along and wow them so much that I'll find myself eased out of my days on my unit and relegated to a unit or shift I dislike...or worse, just cut free. I know the odds of that happening are slim to none. I'm just paranoid.
There's been crop of new grads that were hired. Some are good. Some...hopefully they'll come up to speed.
I've got a permanent position on my unit, though I circulate to other units as needed. I get lots of compliments on my work, most of the other staff like me, and TPTB are working with me on my schedule in the fall when the little sheep starts school. I've gotten a little resentment from a few people because I ended up with mostly day shifts in my schedule even though I've only been there a year. But in my defense, detox is the unit most other staff DON'T want to go to for whatever reason. I don't understand why...OK, it's shorter-staffed and a lot busier than the other units, but it's a great place to work IMO.
Anyhow...
We've had some staff turnover lately (some voluntarily, some not) so there seems to be a lot of staff trying to shift shifts lately. Several of the night people have gone to evenings or 12s. A few evening people have tried to go to more days but with less success, since every unit has a pretty much solid day shift staff. A few staff were willing to cross over to other units for better shifts but found that though they may have had more years' seniority working in the place, that seniority didn't cross over when it came to the units--the unit's original staff got preference even if they were there as long. This is one reason why I was able to keep mostly days.
Overall, staffing still needs work. I saw in the papers that they're massively recruiting again. I'm less insecure about being bumped than I used to be, partially because I am permanent staff now. But I always fear that some other nurse is going to come along and wow them so much that I'll find myself eased out of my days on my unit and relegated to a unit or shift I dislike...or worse, just cut free. I know the odds of that happening are slim to none. I'm just paranoid.
There's been crop of new grads that were hired. Some are good. Some...hopefully they'll come up to speed.
July 14, 2010
Feeling a little abandoned
Off today, and I was feeling a little lonely, despite having a 5 year old in the house with me. Most people I know work so I can't call them to see if they want to do anything. I tried texting a couple of non-employed friends to see if they wanted to hang out, but the day wasn't good for one and the other never responded. I wallowed in self-pity for a bit, then picked myself up and moved forward with my day. Got some errands done, got a little exercise in, and if I'm intelligent, I'll get a little schoolwork done later. I'll also touch base with my friends later...though lately my work schedule and their free time isn't quite syncing up.
I admit, I've always been a bit of a loner. I grew up that way. I was very shy and not too popular (and living in the shadow of a popular sister as well as mother didn't help). I adjusted: I developed my own interests, became very independent, didn't have to rely on others for happiness. I do get out and join social groups and mingle with others. I take a lot of time in making IRL friends, so while I may not have tons of friends and am not a social butterfly, the ones I have are top-notch and I'm very close to them. And for the most part, I've lived a pretty happy life.
Still doesn't mean that I don't miss the company of others though. The fact that it's a grey rainy day (perfect for hanging out at someone's house) isn't helping. But oh well.
I admit, I've always been a bit of a loner. I grew up that way. I was very shy and not too popular (and living in the shadow of a popular sister as well as mother didn't help). I adjusted: I developed my own interests, became very independent, didn't have to rely on others for happiness. I do get out and join social groups and mingle with others. I take a lot of time in making IRL friends, so while I may not have tons of friends and am not a social butterfly, the ones I have are top-notch and I'm very close to them. And for the most part, I've lived a pretty happy life.
Still doesn't mean that I don't miss the company of others though. The fact that it's a grey rainy day (perfect for hanging out at someone's house) isn't helping. But oh well.
July 12, 2010
I'm not a new grad anymore
I bounced back on my second assessment test with a 100%. I took it seriously this time around, and it showed. My overall grade is back in the 90s, and an A may still even be possible provided I can pull off a couple of small miracles. I've still got one more test and the Head-to-Toe assessment to get through. Having taken assessment once before during the ADN has helped me, but I'm learning a lot of additional stuff this time around that I didn't pick up on the first time, probably from lack of time, experience and (sorry, Former Instructor X) teaching expertise. Even though it's been a struggle at times, I'm thoroughly enjoying the class.
And as the title says, oh yeah: I'm officially not a new grad anymore. One year ago this month I was licensed and started volunteering. I suppose if you want to be technical, you could argue that next month is my anniversary because that's when I became meaningfully employed (read: paid) as a nurse. But I count from this month as I wasn't sitting around the city clinic handing out magazines or checking people in--I was doing actual nursing.
For a moment, I thought I should do as every other person who finishes their first year does on blogs and forums and write some long, introspective post about everything I learned. I’d go on about how I excelled during the first year, glossing over the bad stuff and basically making myself look like Supergrad who everyone loves, then proselytize to the next generation about what to do and not do, and last bask in all of the "Congratulations!" postings to follow.
Nah.
I'm far from Supergrad. I'm just a regular person who hasn't fucked-up...at least, not on a major scale. Growth made, lessons learned, sailing not always smooth (still isn't always, actually), doctors do listen to me when I say something, and I do teach the new grads at my place what I know and offer guidance (which is ultimately up to them to use or disregard). I've come a long way since day 1 and I know it--that's all the congratulations I need. Still have a long way to go...as it should be.
To be honest, I think less about what I’ve done over the past year and more about the next year...as in what my goals and plans for the next year are. Now that I have that magic year's experience, I'm probably not going to jump ship at my current place of employment. For the grief it can give me, it's a good place overall and they do treat me well. I'll be there for a while...though I may pick up a per diem job one day a week at another facility just to get more exposure. I'll keep chugging along in school--I won't have the BSN for a couple of years, but I'll be making progress. I'm looking at getting certification at the end of year 2, so I'll be aiming for that: working on CEUs, floating to other units for more experiences, and studying for that test. And since I survived one year in psychiatric nursing and still love it, I'll probably go join the APNA.
I will even admit that the thought of school past the BSN has crossed my mind. Originally I was going to stop at the ADN and do the BSN a few years later. That didn't happen. But then I was going to stop at the BSN that was it on being a student. Now I'm wondering about whether a masters' or NP is something I want to pursue. Go fig.
And as the title says, oh yeah: I'm officially not a new grad anymore. One year ago this month I was licensed and started volunteering. I suppose if you want to be technical, you could argue that next month is my anniversary because that's when I became meaningfully employed (read: paid) as a nurse. But I count from this month as I wasn't sitting around the city clinic handing out magazines or checking people in--I was doing actual nursing.
For a moment, I thought I should do as every other person who finishes their first year does on blogs and forums and write some long, introspective post about everything I learned. I’d go on about how I excelled during the first year, glossing over the bad stuff and basically making myself look like Supergrad who everyone loves, then proselytize to the next generation about what to do and not do, and last bask in all of the "Congratulations!" postings to follow.
Nah.
I'm far from Supergrad. I'm just a regular person who hasn't fucked-up...at least, not on a major scale. Growth made, lessons learned, sailing not always smooth (still isn't always, actually), doctors do listen to me when I say something, and I do teach the new grads at my place what I know and offer guidance (which is ultimately up to them to use or disregard). I've come a long way since day 1 and I know it--that's all the congratulations I need. Still have a long way to go...as it should be.
To be honest, I think less about what I’ve done over the past year and more about the next year...as in what my goals and plans for the next year are. Now that I have that magic year's experience, I'm probably not going to jump ship at my current place of employment. For the grief it can give me, it's a good place overall and they do treat me well. I'll be there for a while...though I may pick up a per diem job one day a week at another facility just to get more exposure. I'll keep chugging along in school--I won't have the BSN for a couple of years, but I'll be making progress. I'm looking at getting certification at the end of year 2, so I'll be aiming for that: working on CEUs, floating to other units for more experiences, and studying for that test. And since I survived one year in psychiatric nursing and still love it, I'll probably go join the APNA.
I will even admit that the thought of school past the BSN has crossed my mind. Originally I was going to stop at the ADN and do the BSN a few years later. That didn't happen. But then I was going to stop at the BSN that was it on being a student. Now I'm wondering about whether a masters' or NP is something I want to pursue. Go fig.
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