Health woes

Tuesday and Wednesday's dental work has meant a world of pain on Thursday and Friday.  I must have looked like I was in a black mood the last two nights at work, but that was I was waiting for the Motrin to kick in.

Well, I also was--am--in a black mood as of late for another reason, but that's a story for another post.    

Today, the pain is much better.  The rest of the dental work is next week, then I'm off the hook for six months.  

Meanwhile, the vision field exam went...weird.  I have ptosis in one eye.  Most days it's manageable, other days it's like someone's trying to keep my eye shut for me.  I finally got fed up with it, and now that I have decent medical insurance, I decided to see what could be done for it.  

I had to go for a preliminary vision exam so they can see how it's affecting me.  I drive up 45 minutes--in the rain, of course--to the vision tech.  For some reason, all the specialists I need to see for whatever reason are located at this specific office 45 minutes away from me, and they are all scheduled on days that it's raining or about to rain.  Then I spend another 45 minutes staring at little lights, either trying to keep the eyelid just so or having to have the eyelid taped in various positions to keep my eye open.

You know the movie A Clockwork Orange?  Kind of like that, but without the aversion therapy.

I don't know how I did, other than the fact that it was a lot harder for my affected eye to do what they wanted, than for my normal eye to do the same.  I'll find out Tuesday when I meet the eye doctor...in that same location 45 minutes away from me.  Any guesses as to what Tuesday's weather will be?

I did a little preliminary Dr. Googling on ptosis.  It's not always a medical problem in itself, but usually a symptom of another underlying medical problem.  So the best cure is to determine what that underlying medical problem is and fix it.  Or they can do surgery, but that would depend on what the underlying medical problem is.  Or I can just learn to live with it if it's determined that there's no major underlying medical problem.

As of late, the eyelid hasn't been too bad, so I'm hopeful that whatever is causing it is minor.  I'd rather not have surgery if I can help it.

Of course, between the dental work, the eye issues and the unspecified cause of my black mood, I'm not sleeping well at all.  It's come to the point that I've had to blow the dust off my bottle of alprazolam and take 1-2 tabs of that in addition to my regular HS meds, just so I could fall asleep.  Staying asleep isn't happening either, but when that happens I don't take any more meds:  I just do my best to doze off again.  That doesn't always work.

If this doesn't improve, I think a call to my psych NP is in order, as I don't want to be relying on alprazolam in this way.

On the brighter side, I'm down 17 lbs.  I finally broke the 180 barrier this afternoon.  20-30 lb more to go.

I thought I had a relaxing few days off ahead of me. Nope. Two dental appointments, one eye appointment, the final day of work at job #3 and most importantly, the littler one's birthday.

First, dental appointment #1. It was there that it was determined I needed a second and third. Nothing critical; mostly maintenance work and fixing a few minor problems.

 The birthday was early in the week. I can't believe where the time has gone. He was a tiny little baby; now he's a hulking toddler.

 Today is the second (of three!) dental and the eye appointment, back-to-back. The eye appointment is first, thank God, so at least I don't have to go through it with sore gums. However, the appointments are not in the same part of town: I have to drive 45 minutes--in the rain, no less--to the place where the eye appointment is. That's at 0900. Then afterwards, I have to drive back to my hometown for the dental appointment at 1100. If everything runs on time at the eye doctor, I should make it back to the dentist with time to spare.

There will be needles involved in this second appointment. Fortunately, I have a supply of ramen on hand, thanks to some recent ramen cravings. I haven't had ramen in years, but last week I felt compelled to have large quantities (no, not pregnant. I'm out of the gene pool, remember?) so I went to the Asian section of the market and stocked up.

Then the final day at job #3 tomorrow. I'm both sad and relieved.  Sad because I will miss a lot of people there, and even the job itself--it's not what I'd want to do forever, but I did learn a lot from it. Relieved because I no longer have to stress about my schedule and meeting the scheduling requirement.

Two weeks' notice (official) and adventures in reading

I officially submitted my notice at Job #3.  My department head was understanding, thanked me for my service and wished me well.  The nurses at the site I was at were rather upset that I was going.  They made me lay down on their new therapeutic cot (I guess one too many patients have come over all faint in there) and I basically told them the details while lying on my back and with my shoes off.  First time I ever resigned from a job while in the supine position.

Truth be told, I'm kind of upset about leaving these nurses.  Actually, of all the locations I have to go to on Job #3, the one I was at today is by far my favorite.  I'm really going to miss the nurses, doctors, staff, pretty much everyone there, really.  They are some of the most laid-back people in psych nursing that I know.  Unfortunately, I have no more shifts scheduled at that site...but I told them they can always stalk me on social media. 

So I left the site with sadness...though not before hitting the pharmacy on the way out the door and taking advantage of my 25% employee discount one last time.  Don't knock these perks--they add up in the long run.

Anyhow...

Regular readers know I have a habit of randomly requesting books from the library, usually because I get interested in something and want to read all I can about it.  Often, the holds take some time to make it to my tiny (really, it's only one room) branch of the public library, so when I go to pick them up, I'm often surprised at what I had requested.  The librarians are no longer shocked at what I get.  They are also tolerant of my requests, especially since I tend to forget to return books on time and have to pay fines.  I'm good for a couple of dollars a month, at least.

These requests usually occur late at night, when I'm in bed reading and/or surfing on my Kindle.  When I used to do this after a glass or two of wine, I'd apparently request the most random stuff.  Now that I am not drinking...I still apparently request the most random stuff. 

So I go to pick up the latest haul.  In it, there is:

• A collection of novels by Richard Bachman, a.k.a. Stephen King.  I didn't remember why I wanted this one until I saw that The Running Man was one of the stories.  Yes, the book that the movie is based on.  Seriously, did you know that Stephen King of all people wrote that?  I certainly didn't...though now that I know, it makes sense.
• A book on borderline personality disorder.  Given my area of nursing, that is no surprise.
• A book on North Korea.  Also not surprising.  North Korea fascinates me.  I have no desire to visit there though as I'd probably never be let out, but I'll read all I can about it.
• A biography of one of the Ramones.  I think that was due to a discussion that I had with a coworker--we're both fans.  I don't remember which Ramone it was offhand.  Joey?
• And five (!) books on the Vestal Virgins.  Now THIS one, I'm trying to figure out.

Five books on the Vestal Virgins...really.  I should check my Kindle's browsing history to see where I was surfing that got me so intrigued to get my virgin knowledge on.

So yeah, I have a lot of literature to keep me occupied for the next 6 weeks. 

Two weeks' notice...almost

Tomorrow, I officially give notice at Job #3.  My friend/manager took my e-mail well and was understanding.  She reassured me that I would always be welcome back whenever I wanted to, which was nice.  I have two more assignments there:  tomorrow and in two weeks.  After that, it is finished, and I am down to only one job.  That's going to take some getting used to.

High anxiety, you win...

I'm a Mel Brooks fan.  I couldn't find History of the World Part I to watch, but I did find High Anxiety, so I put that on instead.  It's a fun way to spend the night when you can't sleep.

My father actually took me and my sister to see that movie when it first came out in the theaters in the 1980s.  I'm sure the theater staff thought he was crazy, but our family has always has a warped sense of humor.  We didn't get all the jokes but we never asked Dad to explain them....and I don't think he would have anyway.  It wasn't until many, many years later, that I fully understood every single thing in the movie.

I do remember my sister and I spent the rest of the day singing "The Inquisition."  I still do sing it at times.

My father also took us to see Monty Python's The Meaning of Life in the theaters.  But singing "Every Sperm is Sacred" doesn't go over well when you're in Catholic school.

Moving on to nursing news...

I'm still working on that Job #3 resignation plan.  The letter is pretty much done.  I've stop accepting any work requests using a variety of creative but true excuses.  I'm back there next week so that's when I can make the resignation official.  The immediate next step is the hardest:  calling my friend/manager to let her know I'm leaving before I actually do it.  I know she's going to try to talk me into staying...again:  she was successful in doing that once before.  She's going to be disappointed.  But I need to let this job go, for my own sanity.  I need to think about that first and foremost and resist.

Maybe I'll do it by e-mail instead.  I know, I'm a non-confrontational wuss.

Whatever way I decide to do it, I need to do it really soon because I swore to myself come Hell or high water, I was resigning the next time I went in.

Work anxiety, you win...

In which Meriwhen shrinks, and crafts a resignation to boot

Since November, I've lost about 15 lb.  I decided to try intermittent fasting...well, the Leangains method, since the idea of going 24 hours without any sort of food is inconceivable to me.  Well, except that time I had my tonsils removed:  I lived on ginger ale for a whole month because it was too painful to eat anything at all.  I lost 30 lb. that month, but I don't recommend tonsillectomies as a weight loss method.

The all-the-ice-cream-you-can-eat thing is a myth, BTW.  And if you can, get the tonsils out when you're a kid.  I was 21 when I had mine removed.  I'm still traumatized from the experience.

So Leangains....you fast 16 hours, eat 8 hours.  So I don't eat at work and go right to sleep when I get home.  I wake up and then I have 8 hours to eat what I want.  I still try to eat sensibly though, but I do feel less deprived doing it this way than I would if I was counting calories and looking at forbidden foods.

So 15 lb done.  20+ to go.  I'll be happy if I hit the low 160s.  I'm tall, so I can carry 160s well.

Anyhow...

I officially decided to resign from Job #3.  You know I've been on the fence about it for a while, and I was going to do it in November until my new supervisor happened to be a former coworker/friend who didn't want to see me go.  So I held off and held on.  I wasn't scheduled there at all in December, which made me realize how much I've been missing my days off.  And the better half and little ones loved having me around more instead of hauling off to the day job after a full week of working nights.

Then I was a no-call/no-show at Job #3 in January.

I'm very meticulous with my work schedules, and often know them better than the schedulers.   For some reason, the day I was scheduled for this month escaped me and my calendar.  I didn't realize what happened until the scheduler called me to make sure I was alive (that's how meticulous I am--if I don't show up for work without calling off, they automatically assume I'm dead or on the way to death).  I reassured her that I still had a pulse (74 bpm), then checked my e-mails...and found the one where I agreed to work that specific day.  Still don't know how it got away from me.

But you know what?  After finding out I was a no-call/no-show...I was strangely apathetic.  I didn't seem bothered about missing work itself.  I was more bothered that I didn't keep the calendar up.  But as for not being there...I sometimes feel guilty calling off when sick and holding a doctor's note in hand.  But I didn't feel guilty about this.

And so I realized that perhaps, it's time to let Job #3 go.

The problem is that I actually have to resign in person...well, via company intranet.  So I have to wait until my next scheduled day in February (and yes, the calendar was triple-checked), and then go resign.  I'm working on my letter that I'll fax over with the computer resignation explaining why I'm going.  The official reason--and actually, the honest reason--will be that I am taking on more responsibilities at Job #1 and that I will no longer have the extra time to meet the PRN requirements.  That is a story for another post.

I called Human Resources at Job #3.  I only have to give 72 hours notice (really!).  I plan give 3 weeks and work all the days I have scheduled in February.  I will talk to my friend/supervisor first, to give her a heads-up so she's not blind-sided.

Happy 2017

New Year's Eve at work was calm.  We got to see the ball drop on television, and we all enjoyed our pot luck and complementary sparkling cider.  Then I had to go give multiple IMs to a patient who decided to get undressed and completely lose it...right after we had finally gotten all the manic patients to fall asleep.  Of course, that woke them up.

The following night, same unit, but much better.  Only one IM needed, and it was requested by the same patient before things got out of control.

It wouldn't be a holiday without some excitement, now would it?