The most recent BSN class is drawing to a close...after the hell that was Informatics, Diversity was a breather: 1/4th the weekly workload and only two main projects. Though I will admit that I didn't get as much out of Diversity as I did the other class...because I didn't have to do as much work. Go fig. The next two semesters will be fun: two classes at the same time for each. Plus at one point, I need to figure out how I'm going to squeeze one of my two remaining liberal arts classes in there.
I'm back to floating. It's not my idea, though I don't mind it. But whenever a nurse is needed somewhere and they look at our unit to provide it, I'm the one who gets sent . It gives me experience and cheers me up, because I get to see different patient populations...which is nice when I'm feeling a bit down on psych nursing and wondering if I should attempt to break into med-surg. The experiences remind me why I like psych in the first place.
Speaking of first places, the first place they always send me: the depressive unit. This is where all of the "sad" people go. It's mostly depression, SI with or without a plan, actual suicide attempts, and the temporarily detained. Lots of drama. Lots of personality disorders. Lots of tears. Lots of medication seekers who are after the benzos and Schedule II/III narcs.
Floating is definitely a good chance to keep the therapeutic communication skills sharp. Whereas in detox I can be blunt, use the word "why", and break half of the rules in the communication book because most of our patient population are frequent flyers and we've been through this dance several times before.
I have to admit it can be hard. I guess that's because sometimes I expect it'll be like the textbook: have a 1:1, talk to them, teach them a bit and boom, patient is 20 times better and no longer depressed/suicidal/crying. It's amazing what can be accomplished in the world of textbook nursing. For the most part, the patients do feel better after the 1:1...but their problems aren't solved and they're not all cured. And I know this. And I know I can't solve all of their problems and say some magic words and boom, all happy. But sometimes I do wish it was that easy.
Even though the depressive unit isn't really a place for psychosis, occasionally some sneaks in. I got to see a couple of psychotic issues I haven't seen in a while. Audio hallucinations (more of the background commentary type than the "kill them!" type), thought blocking, paranoia, and mania. Good opportunity to refresh my skills in dealing with those issues too.
I dug the psych textbooks out, and I'm making it a point to read up on at least one thing a day...both to help me at work and to help me start preparing for the board certification exam. Granted, I have several months to prepare, but with the BSN and everything else going on, best I start some of it now.
November 30, 2010
November 19, 2010
Schoolwork doldrums
Have to do a paper over the Thanksgiving day holiday...going to try and see if I can whack most of it out the Wednesday before. Then all I will have to do is proofread and tweak as needed. I hadn't wanted to take schoolwork with me on the holiday trip but life's like that. Oh well. I also need to get my paperwork over to the office before the holiday.
November 18, 2010
CEUs
I need 30 psychiatric CEUs for my certification. I also need to actually be working for two years, but I figure that if I start knocking the CEUs out now, I can test as soon as I cross the big 0-2. Also, I'm starting so soon because I'm trying to find as many free CEUs as possible. The APNA is hooking me up with a few, and I'm sure I can dredge up a few free ones through the ANA and other sources. I have a feeling that even with my best efforts I'll have to pay for a few of them. Oh well.
November 16, 2010
Hmm...
Being a nurse and BSN student keeps one rather busy. These last few months had me up to my neck in classwork. What really gets me is that the fewer credits the course is, the more demands the instructor puts on us and the more work I have to do. One of my courses was only a 2 credit course, and we needed to make 9 posts a week, with the final project being a term paper and accompanying slideshow. The 3 credit course I'm in now seems like an absolute break.
I occasionally get twinges whenever I hear from classmates that went into med-surg. While I'm loving pysch and have no regrets, for that brief second I feel like a failure. Not that I am a failure in any way: med-surg is not the only area of nursing, and there's many nurses that have successful careers without even going anywhere near the area. I guess it's because that everyone pushed (pushes) it as the area that you must start off in to have any measure of nursing success. Yet I seem to be doing rather well as a nurse without it. Plus my unit gives me enough medical issues to keep it exciting.
Maybe I feel like that because of all of the rejections I got when I was hunting in med-surg. I think that's the case, because if I was truly unhappy then I'd have kept looking for the med-surg job and not carved out a full-time niche.
Or maybe it's an occasional resentful twinge, since I chose the psych job over the PCU because of the hours. I knew I couldn't be away from my child for 14-16 hour days. It's hard enough that my better half's days are at least that long, neverminding all of the underways and deployments. But you know what? I didn't want to put my child through that. We're fortunate enough in that if I didn't want to, I didn't have to work and we'd be OK financially. Not great, but we'd make it. I don't have to take a job with hellacious hours just to make ends meet. And frankly, when I look at his face, I don't want to work those hours.
And I definitely don't miss the blood, guts and demanding patients. If my patients come at me saying they need new sheets on their bed, I get to say "I'll get you clean ones so you can change them" and I won't get into trouble. Hell, I'm expected to say that :)
Oh well.
Work is going well. Still have staffing issues but since no amount of yelling and screaming will change it, I've pretty much adopted a zen attitude. I'm trying to get my supervisor to do the same. She gets so worked up over them and it's really stressing her out.
I occasionally get twinges whenever I hear from classmates that went into med-surg. While I'm loving pysch and have no regrets, for that brief second I feel like a failure. Not that I am a failure in any way: med-surg is not the only area of nursing, and there's many nurses that have successful careers without even going anywhere near the area. I guess it's because that everyone pushed (pushes) it as the area that you must start off in to have any measure of nursing success. Yet I seem to be doing rather well as a nurse without it. Plus my unit gives me enough medical issues to keep it exciting.
Maybe I feel like that because of all of the rejections I got when I was hunting in med-surg. I think that's the case, because if I was truly unhappy then I'd have kept looking for the med-surg job and not carved out a full-time niche.
Or maybe it's an occasional resentful twinge, since I chose the psych job over the PCU because of the hours. I knew I couldn't be away from my child for 14-16 hour days. It's hard enough that my better half's days are at least that long, neverminding all of the underways and deployments. But you know what? I didn't want to put my child through that. We're fortunate enough in that if I didn't want to, I didn't have to work and we'd be OK financially. Not great, but we'd make it. I don't have to take a job with hellacious hours just to make ends meet. And frankly, when I look at his face, I don't want to work those hours.
And I definitely don't miss the blood, guts and demanding patients. If my patients come at me saying they need new sheets on their bed, I get to say "I'll get you clean ones so you can change them" and I won't get into trouble. Hell, I'm expected to say that :)
Oh well.
Work is going well. Still have staffing issues but since no amount of yelling and screaming will change it, I've pretty much adopted a zen attitude. I'm trying to get my supervisor to do the same. She gets so worked up over them and it's really stressing her out.
August 17, 2010
Staffing
As of this month, there's no longer any question about it: I'm no longer a new grad in any way, shape or form. I've got one year's experience...I'm very lightly seasoned. The marinating is far from over though.
I've got a permanent position on my unit, though I circulate to other units as needed. I get lots of compliments on my work, most of the other staff like me, and TPTB are working with me on my schedule in the fall when the little sheep starts school. I've gotten a little resentment from a few people because I ended up with mostly day shifts in my schedule even though I've only been there a year. But in my defense, detox is the unit most other staff DON'T want to go to for whatever reason. I don't understand why...OK, it's shorter-staffed and a lot busier than the other units, but it's a great place to work IMO.
Anyhow...
We've had some staff turnover lately (some voluntarily, some not) so there seems to be a lot of staff trying to shift shifts lately. Several of the night people have gone to evenings or 12s. A few evening people have tried to go to more days but with less success, since every unit has a pretty much solid day shift staff. A few staff were willing to cross over to other units for better shifts but found that though they may have had more years' seniority working in the place, that seniority didn't cross over when it came to the units--the unit's original staff got preference even if they were there as long. This is one reason why I was able to keep mostly days.
Overall, staffing still needs work. I saw in the papers that they're massively recruiting again. I'm less insecure about being bumped than I used to be, partially because I am permanent staff now. But I always fear that some other nurse is going to come along and wow them so much that I'll find myself eased out of my days on my unit and relegated to a unit or shift I dislike...or worse, just cut free. I know the odds of that happening are slim to none. I'm just paranoid.
There's been crop of new grads that were hired. Some are good. Some...hopefully they'll come up to speed.
I've got a permanent position on my unit, though I circulate to other units as needed. I get lots of compliments on my work, most of the other staff like me, and TPTB are working with me on my schedule in the fall when the little sheep starts school. I've gotten a little resentment from a few people because I ended up with mostly day shifts in my schedule even though I've only been there a year. But in my defense, detox is the unit most other staff DON'T want to go to for whatever reason. I don't understand why...OK, it's shorter-staffed and a lot busier than the other units, but it's a great place to work IMO.
Anyhow...
We've had some staff turnover lately (some voluntarily, some not) so there seems to be a lot of staff trying to shift shifts lately. Several of the night people have gone to evenings or 12s. A few evening people have tried to go to more days but with less success, since every unit has a pretty much solid day shift staff. A few staff were willing to cross over to other units for better shifts but found that though they may have had more years' seniority working in the place, that seniority didn't cross over when it came to the units--the unit's original staff got preference even if they were there as long. This is one reason why I was able to keep mostly days.
Overall, staffing still needs work. I saw in the papers that they're massively recruiting again. I'm less insecure about being bumped than I used to be, partially because I am permanent staff now. But I always fear that some other nurse is going to come along and wow them so much that I'll find myself eased out of my days on my unit and relegated to a unit or shift I dislike...or worse, just cut free. I know the odds of that happening are slim to none. I'm just paranoid.
There's been crop of new grads that were hired. Some are good. Some...hopefully they'll come up to speed.
July 14, 2010
Feeling a little abandoned
Off today, and I was feeling a little lonely, despite having a 5 year old in the house with me. Most people I know work so I can't call them to see if they want to do anything. I tried texting a couple of non-employed friends to see if they wanted to hang out, but the day wasn't good for one and the other never responded. I wallowed in self-pity for a bit, then picked myself up and moved forward with my day. Got some errands done, got a little exercise in, and if I'm intelligent, I'll get a little schoolwork done later. I'll also touch base with my friends later...though lately my work schedule and their free time isn't quite syncing up.
I admit, I've always been a bit of a loner. I grew up that way. I was very shy and not too popular (and living in the shadow of a popular sister as well as mother didn't help). I adjusted: I developed my own interests, became very independent, didn't have to rely on others for happiness. I do get out and join social groups and mingle with others. I take a lot of time in making IRL friends, so while I may not have tons of friends and am not a social butterfly, the ones I have are top-notch and I'm very close to them. And for the most part, I've lived a pretty happy life.
Still doesn't mean that I don't miss the company of others though. The fact that it's a grey rainy day (perfect for hanging out at someone's house) isn't helping. But oh well.
I admit, I've always been a bit of a loner. I grew up that way. I was very shy and not too popular (and living in the shadow of a popular sister as well as mother didn't help). I adjusted: I developed my own interests, became very independent, didn't have to rely on others for happiness. I do get out and join social groups and mingle with others. I take a lot of time in making IRL friends, so while I may not have tons of friends and am not a social butterfly, the ones I have are top-notch and I'm very close to them. And for the most part, I've lived a pretty happy life.
Still doesn't mean that I don't miss the company of others though. The fact that it's a grey rainy day (perfect for hanging out at someone's house) isn't helping. But oh well.
July 12, 2010
I'm not a new grad anymore
I bounced back on my second assessment test with a 100%. I took it seriously this time around, and it showed. My overall grade is back in the 90s, and an A may still even be possible provided I can pull off a couple of small miracles. I've still got one more test and the Head-to-Toe assessment to get through. Having taken assessment once before during the ADN has helped me, but I'm learning a lot of additional stuff this time around that I didn't pick up on the first time, probably from lack of time, experience and (sorry, Former Instructor X) teaching expertise. Even though it's been a struggle at times, I'm thoroughly enjoying the class.
And as the title says, oh yeah: I'm officially not a new grad anymore. One year ago this month I was licensed and started volunteering. I suppose if you want to be technical, you could argue that next month is my anniversary because that's when I became meaningfully employed (read: paid) as a nurse. But I count from this month as I wasn't sitting around the city clinic handing out magazines or checking people in--I was doing actual nursing.
For a moment, I thought I should do as every other person who finishes their first year does on blogs and forums and write some long, introspective post about everything I learned. I’d go on about how I excelled during the first year, glossing over the bad stuff and basically making myself look like Supergrad who everyone loves, then proselytize to the next generation about what to do and not do, and last bask in all of the "Congratulations!" postings to follow.
Nah.
I'm far from Supergrad. I'm just a regular person who hasn't fucked-up...at least, not on a major scale. Growth made, lessons learned, sailing not always smooth (still isn't always, actually), doctors do listen to me when I say something, and I do teach the new grads at my place what I know and offer guidance (which is ultimately up to them to use or disregard). I've come a long way since day 1 and I know it--that's all the congratulations I need. Still have a long way to go...as it should be.
To be honest, I think less about what I’ve done over the past year and more about the next year...as in what my goals and plans for the next year are. Now that I have that magic year's experience, I'm probably not going to jump ship at my current place of employment. For the grief it can give me, it's a good place overall and they do treat me well. I'll be there for a while...though I may pick up a per diem job one day a week at another facility just to get more exposure. I'll keep chugging along in school--I won't have the BSN for a couple of years, but I'll be making progress. I'm looking at getting certification at the end of year 2, so I'll be aiming for that: working on CEUs, floating to other units for more experiences, and studying for that test. And since I survived one year in psychiatric nursing and still love it, I'll probably go join the APNA.
I will even admit that the thought of school past the BSN has crossed my mind. Originally I was going to stop at the ADN and do the BSN a few years later. That didn't happen. But then I was going to stop at the BSN that was it on being a student. Now I'm wondering about whether a masters' or NP is something I want to pursue. Go fig.
And as the title says, oh yeah: I'm officially not a new grad anymore. One year ago this month I was licensed and started volunteering. I suppose if you want to be technical, you could argue that next month is my anniversary because that's when I became meaningfully employed (read: paid) as a nurse. But I count from this month as I wasn't sitting around the city clinic handing out magazines or checking people in--I was doing actual nursing.
For a moment, I thought I should do as every other person who finishes their first year does on blogs and forums and write some long, introspective post about everything I learned. I’d go on about how I excelled during the first year, glossing over the bad stuff and basically making myself look like Supergrad who everyone loves, then proselytize to the next generation about what to do and not do, and last bask in all of the "Congratulations!" postings to follow.
Nah.
I'm far from Supergrad. I'm just a regular person who hasn't fucked-up...at least, not on a major scale. Growth made, lessons learned, sailing not always smooth (still isn't always, actually), doctors do listen to me when I say something, and I do teach the new grads at my place what I know and offer guidance (which is ultimately up to them to use or disregard). I've come a long way since day 1 and I know it--that's all the congratulations I need. Still have a long way to go...as it should be.
To be honest, I think less about what I’ve done over the past year and more about the next year...as in what my goals and plans for the next year are. Now that I have that magic year's experience, I'm probably not going to jump ship at my current place of employment. For the grief it can give me, it's a good place overall and they do treat me well. I'll be there for a while...though I may pick up a per diem job one day a week at another facility just to get more exposure. I'll keep chugging along in school--I won't have the BSN for a couple of years, but I'll be making progress. I'm looking at getting certification at the end of year 2, so I'll be aiming for that: working on CEUs, floating to other units for more experiences, and studying for that test. And since I survived one year in psychiatric nursing and still love it, I'll probably go join the APNA.
I will even admit that the thought of school past the BSN has crossed my mind. Originally I was going to stop at the ADN and do the BSN a few years later. That didn't happen. But then I was going to stop at the BSN that was it on being a student. Now I'm wondering about whether a masters' or NP is something I want to pursue. Go fig.
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