March 21, 2010


They pretty much went along with whatever I checked on the evaluation, rating me a bit higher than I did in a couple of areas (none were lower, thank God).   The feedback was good, so I guess I have a job for another six months. 

 They've hired on several PRN people as permanent staff...they haven't approached me yet, probably since with my current schedule I wouldn't neatly fit into a one-shift position.  Which is just as well as I'd likely turn the offer down:  I like the flexibility and freedom that being PRN offers me.  I'm certainly not lacking for hours:  I do 32 a week now and could easily do 40 (or more) if I wanted, or scale back to 8 and still keep my job.  And I set my own hours--I don't have to work around anyone else's schedule (although coincidentally, what I can work happens to mesh rather well with what days the permanent staff can't work), and can take off on four hour's notice if I had to.  I'd still like to be asked to join know, to get a little stamp of "hey, you're really doing OK, want to sign on?"  And I'd like to think it's my schedule that prevents them from asking, and not my performance. 

Insecure much?  I vacillate, as you can see.

Work has been rough lately due to staffing issues.  There are just not enough techs on our floor.  There's also not enough nurses either, but it's manageable with one nurse as long as there are enough techs.  The problem (I think) is that TPTB don't realize that while we on detox don't have the actively psychotic patients who are throwing things, or the depressives who will try to kill themselves the moment our backs are turned, we have the most medically unstable patients, particularly the new admits who are fresh off of the drugs.   They require frequent reassessment.  Neverminding that as far as therapeutic groups go, we have the most of any other unit with the exception of the kids. 

One evening was so bad that all staff who were there including myself made formal complaints.   We're not miracle workers:  it's hard to do the job without the tools and the necessary staff.  So we shall see if the mass complaints improved things.

Seven months...I hit seven months in a few days, and the end of the magic year is in sight.  As I told my better half this morning, it's not as though I'm going to leave my current job the minute the clock strikes 12, but that having that magic year's experience under my belt is so mentally liberating.  I do have the freedom to leave and be actively competitive for other jobs--I'm no longer limited to applying for "new graduate" positions.   Hospitals will want to talk to me once the new grad slime has worn off.

One of the supervisors--not as part of my evaluation, mind you--strongly recommended I do get med-surg experience. Truth be told, the further along I go in psych, the less I want to go into med-surg. I enjoy psych a lot more: the work environment, what I do, the decreased amount of blood, guts and body fluids, and the fact that 30% of my job isn’t made up of “pillow-fluffing” type duties.   There's definitely psych jobs out there so it's not as though I'm in an impossible-to-find specialty.  Also, given my age (not old, not young), it's not as though I'll be in nursing for the next 50 years.  I'm thinking only 30 or so before I hang it up and retire, so why not enjoy a specialty right out of the gate?

But I could see her wisdom...that year's experience would give me more options.  I do like options:  even if I never use them, I like knowing they are there if I do want them.  So I figure I'll get my year's med-surg after I finish my BSN.   I'll be a new grad twice over.  Until then, for the next couple of years while I'm in school, psych it is.

Speaking of which, that's going well.  Another class starts at the end of the month, so for April and most of May I'll be doing two classes at the same time.   Fun.

I need to get back on the Weight Watchers wagon tomorrow…the fast and loose living has caught up with me, and tomorrow I need to see how bad the damage is.  Some pants aren't fitting properly, and I just feel heavier lately.  But I've no one to blame but myself.  I’ll never lose weight if I don’t be disciplined about it…problem is that it’s hard to maintain that discipline after a few weeks.  I’ve got to find a new approach to this problem…I’ve lost weight before, I know I can do it again.

I also joined up with a local parenting group.  Besides giving my little one an opportunity to do more things, I need to get out more and play with people my own age...particulary ones with little ones of their own and who can relate to me right now.

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