December 31, 2016

Last post of 2016

It has been exactly 4 weeks to the day since my last update.  I meant to post sooner, but it has been a tough month.

My mother had arrived the day before my birthday and was at my sister's house...I was going to be a bit evil and call my sister that evening to say that I wanted to bring the little ones over to her house for a play date, but decided that the day of the birthday itself was going to be stressful enough.

I could not fall asleep easily...just like last I ended up on the couch watching documentaries and thinking about my dad.  Had my cry and then ended up falling asleep to a documentary about North Korea.  Dad would have appreciated that.

The birthday surprise dinner went well.  I apparently was convincing enough in my surprise that they bought it. 

My mother's visit went as well as they usually go.  The usual ups and downs, the usual stressors.  Some sadness as we thought about Dad, especially when all of the kids were together.  He loved his army of grandsons and they missed him.  Lots of rain, as it tends to rain out here whenever she comes to visit.

I was able to swing 7 straight days off, so we were able to spend plenty of time together. 

Christmas came and went.  Sent Mom back home, had a day off with just the better half and little ones, then went back to work.  And here I am.

I don't feel like reflecting on 2016; if you want to know my thoughts on the year, read the earlier entries.  I don't have any real resolutions for the new year...maybe curb buying so much yarn and start using up the stash I have.  And of course, to make it to 2018. 

December 3, 2016

Only in psych nursing is playing cards with a patient not only allowed, it's also a therapeutic intervention

Try doing that on a med-surg floor and see what happens.

Anyhow, it was a slow night so I played some Gin Rummy with a patient....well, with a patient and their hallucinations.  It was a fun game.  The patient was a very good player, though every so often, the patient would stop and respond, or start conversing with one of the voices.  Sometimes I wasn't sure if the conversation was directed at myself, the voice(s), or both/all of us.

I lost most of the hands.  It was an uneven match-up if you think about it.

December 1, 2016

Best birthday gift I could have asked for

I don't have anything I want for my birthday...well, other than the classic NES reboot, but I don't want it so much that I want the better half to drop $200 on it.  We'll wait until February and pick it up for a song.

The truth is, I haven't really thought about what I'd like for my birthday because this year, I hadn't really thought of it as something to celebrate this year.  Next year, yes...and I realized that in all seriousness, that's as long as my dad would want us to mope his death.  And to be honest, a year would be pushing it in his books.   He was never one for prolonged mourning, drama or sob-fests.  He'd take a little time to reconcile his loss, then put on 'Allo 'Allo, Benny Hill, or whatever British comedy was on the nearest videotape, and make a sandwich.

"Get over it, Moose," he'd tell me.  "And bring me a donut!"

Got to love Dad.

Realizing that has helped me feel much better.  Things still hurt and I have ups and downs, but I know that debilitating misery is not what my father would have wanted for me, for any of us.

So I get to feel depressed and craptastic this year.  Next year, party in the mountains! 

Anyhow, my mother is planning to fly out West to surprise me on my birthday.   I'm glad that she is given that I was really worried about her spending this day alone.  The plan is my sister has booked a reservation for both of our families at an early time and a kid-friendly restaurant, because my nephews are very excited for this.  I'm guessing that at one point, my mother will appear.

I know this because the better half told me so I would not change my mind and end up going into work that night.   He knows that I'm struggling this year and that, given I'm not drinking alcohol, I would seriously consider drowning my sorrows in psychiatric patients on that night.  So he wanted to insure my attendance.

My sister mentioned the dinner to me already, so that's part is no secret.  

So my mother calls last night to see how I am doing.  She goes on about coming out to visit right before Christmas (I try not to laugh).  Then she mentioned my birthday and what I was planning to do.

"Oh, I don't know," I reply.  "I was thinking that the better half and I take a little trip, maybe an overnight somewhere.  Just to get away since I have two nights off."
She gets flustered and says "I think you sister had made dinner plans for you that day, with the kids."

"Yeah, I thought she mentioned that.  I'm thinking maybe Vegas."

So it goes on for 10 minutes:  she keeps telling me I should talk to my sister and she what she has planned, and my noncommittal replies and musing about where to road trip I laugh hysterically into my pillow.  Eventually, the call ends.  You know she dialed my sister the minute she disconnected to find out what was going on.

And you know my sister is waiting for me to call or text today.  Except I think I'll call tomorrow.  Maybe.  And ask her where she stayed in Vegas.

I told the better half what I had done, and when he stopped laughing, he said that I should have mentioned to my mother that I wanted him to take me to the Bellagio.  I'll give my mother and sister a little bit more of a hard time...not too hard though that they panic or get really upset.  Just enough before I "capitulate" to make them think that they dodged a bullet.

I bet Dad is looking down at this and laughing his ass off.  It's something he would totally have done. He'd be so proud of my performance.

Then he'd ask if I had any more donuts.