You are cordially invited to feel guilty

I'm sitting here, watching ID and drinking iced tea while little one #2 is asleep across my arms and abdomen.  I can't put him in his crib as he will wake up.  He's not a napper so this is rare, and I want it to last.  Considering that at 1830, I can put this child in his crib, say "good night" and walk out of the room with nary a protest, I'll take the lack of napping skills and remain pinned to the couch for now.

Still waiting on that final grade.  I feel like I can't relax and accept that it's truly over until that grade is posted.

I received an invitation for Sigma Theta Tau.  I'm not surprised--I knew that I was going to be invited.  But still...it's rather nice to be acknowledged by a professional organization.  It'll be good on the resume  and it will be a great networking opportunity, especially since I can have a dual membership with my local chapter.  There are two local chapters I can join, and I've chosen the one that I'll affiliate with once I'm inducted because I'm familiar with who this chapter's leader is.  I'm looking forward to taking part in STT.

Of course, such an invite doesn't come for free...like any Greek organization, there's initiation and membership fees.  Fortunately, I worked enough in October to more than cover it.

Speaking of work...

I turned down guaranteed hours on Thursday.  I'm on call for Friday so that's 50/50 as to whether I'll be going in.  But I received an offer for Thursday and said no.  I figured that as it was Halloween, I'd take the day off to get little one #1 and his costume ready, and then be fresh for walking around the neighborhood while I hold little one #2.

I worked a lot in October, and I felt like little one #2 needed some quality time with me.  I have enough guaranteed hours in November to cover my childcare costs.  Actually, the way my paychecks fall as well as the extra hours I got in October, I'll have paid for December's childcare on November 1st.  So technically I could take November off and December will still be covered.

The better half told me to enjoy the down time.  He's thrilled that school is finally over and that I have free time again.  He felt (and I'll admit to this) that sometimes little one #1 got lost in the shuffle because I spent a lot of my free time doing homework--he'd get shortchanged.  So he was supportive when I told him I opted out of work Thursday to be there for little one #1.  And of course, little one #1 is ecstatic.

So why do I feel guilty for turning down the hours?

*sigh*

I should just relax and enjoy the time off, but I can't.   I should enjoy the little lump of love that is unconscious in my lap because he won't be a little lump forever.  I should enjoy the time with the older lump because he's going to be grown up before I know it.  And I just keep thinking that I should have signed on for Thursday.

But I'm not going to.  I'm going to focus on the kids.  To help myself resist, I already told my babysitter that I had plans on Thursday and would not be needing her services.  It's going to be tough...and if I get cancelled on Friday, I'll feel even guiltier.  But I need to prioritize.   Kids first.

Sometimes, I wonder why I'm so hard-wired to work.

It's a proven fact that the more un-toy like something is, the more a baby will want to play with it.  Case in point:  little one #2 is sitting here on the bed with me.  He has all the toys he could want at his fingertips, but he's chewing on the better half's belt and letting out the Happy Baby Squeal.

So the feast eased up a bit:  I was cancelled by the agency this week.  I've learned that they agency has placed a full-time agency person in there, so they're going to get priority when it comes to scheduling.  Fortunately, my main job wanted me on short notice, so I didn't lose any hours this week.  We'll see if the agency will pick me back up at the end of the month--I'm taking some time off to have the follow-up to an earlier medical procedure done.

But going back to the full-time agency thing...I have to wonder why someone would sign on for that.  They're getting the standard agency rate--which is actually less than what the equivalent permanent employee gets--and no benefits.  Plus if there's enough permanent staff there, they can get cancelled.  The only perks that I see are priority in scheduling, some flexibility (though they are being forced to pick up every other weekend), and the ability to walk tomorrow.

Still, I guess it worked enough for someone to take it.   Who knows?

I have the day off, which is nice as it's grey out.  It's a good day to put something benign on the television for background noise, sit with little one #2 and work on the shawl I cast on last night.  Grey days are rare out here...what would make it perfect is if it rained.  But that may be asking for too much.

I'm alive

I'm waiting for a sleeping baby to wake up.  One rule of parenting that you learn really fast:  never wake a sleeping baby unless the house is on fire.  As long as they're breathing, that's all that matters.

The second rule is to never try to make a happy baby happier.  If they're happy staring at a toy in the corner, let them stare.  

So, Vulnerable Populations was such a mixed bag.  A lot of hard work and research.  Very interesting and fun to learn about this little community I live in.  Not as much fun turning in 30-50 page papers each week.  I want to go plant a tree in honor of the ones I've killed during the course of this class.   

The course was straightforward, though it felt like I had to teach myself most of it.  And like Research and History part 2, it is not without some drama.  I commented on it--and probably pissed off a few classmates in the process--but I'm largely staying out of it, as I think the school's in the right on this one.  It's expected that even if students aren't pros at APA yet, they should know the need to cite your sources.  Ideally, cite it correctly...but even if you have to cite it incorrectly, at least cite it.

The two history classes and Research pounded that well enough into my head.  I may get dinged--and often--for craptastic APA and Turabian, but I've never been dinged for plagiarism.

It's interesting watching people argue about how they shouldn't be penalized because they didn't cite as they should have.  Oh well.

Anyhow, I got an A.  I haven't taken the last quiz yet, but even if I don't, I still have the A.  So I may actually end up with that elusive 4.0...we shall see.  One week off and then it's Capstone.  The final class.   I'm already registered for it, and the tuition is paid for.  I'm ready for this to end.

I've been working 2-3 days a week.  Once again, it's gone from famine to feast in my world.  I wasn't cancelled from the agency three days in a row, which is unusual.  Someone must have gotten fired.

Plus my main job has offered me the chance to cover one of their sites 3 days a week starting in late September through October, and possibly beyond.  Of course I said Yes.  So they're going to check their staffing, confirm the dates and let me know.  In the meantime, I'm holding off on canceling with the agency for that month, just in case.

In other news, an opening for psych medical opened up...but full-time nights.  It was all I could do not to cry.  *sigh*  My time will come one day.

Resisting temptation

So almost all of my patients were paranoid and delusional.  Some of the delusions were so outrageous that it was hard for me to keep a straight face, but keep it I did.  These delusions are very real to each patient and me showing visible amusement would be both untherapeutic and insulting.  So I take them seriously.  I can decompress after hours.

I seem to be doing well with the agency work so far.  It's all coming back to me.  I go back next week provided I'm not cancelled.  I may not be given how few agency nurses I'm seeing on the scene, but we shall see.

I was offered hours today at my main job.  As tempting as it was, I declined.  First of all, I have some appointments today that I'm tending to.  I could have rescheduled them but I need to get them done with before we go on vacation.

Second...I've worked one day this week, and I will be working Friday.  I didn't want to take a third day.   I really want to keep working to two days a week so I can be there for little one #2, as well as little one #1 during the summer so he doesn't have to go into summer care every day.  I may make occasional exceptions, but I don't want to routinely take a third day because before I know it, I'm working three days a week, then four days a week.  Then soon I'm working full-time when I don't really want to be. 

So I said No, even though it would have been easy money.  But I'm glad I did.  I had my first appointment over and done with.  Now I'm hanging out with little one #2 and catching up on a few things at home.  It's nice.

I'm supposed to restart at the agency this week, but my primary employer keeps giving me hours.  As my primary employer pays 1.5 times the hourly rate than the agency, guess who wins in the heads-up battle.  It's hard to say no to working 6 hours at one place and making more money than working 8 at the other.

Especially since now I'm paying more childcare costs.  I figured out that I have to work 4 shifts a month at either place to cover the monthly cost of little one #2's childcare--anything after that is profit.  And that I definitely need as July is the month that everything needs to be renewed:  ACLS, PALS, BLS, CPI, malpractice insurance and two professional organization memberships.  And I need a 90,000 mile tuneup on my truck.  And we're going on vacation next month for a few days.  And I have to pay childcare in advance.

Of course, some of these I can live without:  I can scratch PALS and the memberships and still be able to work.  In fact, I am thinking of ditching PALS as I'm not working in environments in which  children are my patients.  But everything else is a must-have.

Why the ACLS for a psych nurse?  For working in the psych ER.  As it is technically an ER, ACLS certification is needed.

Anyhow, so in my first couple of weeks back at work, I have made enough to cover June's childcare expenses and have leftover profit, which is good.  I'll see exactly how much when I get paid this week.

I'm also trying to keep it to two days a week total.  I figure if I do need to pull an extra day, it will be on a weekend so the better half can keep the little ones with him.  Ever since the better half figured out how to defrost breastmilk, my presence really isn't always needed.  As long as I keep doing the moo-cow thing and filling the bags.

Speaking of which, I'm glad I spent a couple of months practicing with the pump.  I've got it down to a 10 minute science with no stress or problem.  Plus, I hooked up with a doctor at my primary workplace who is also pumping, and she's offered me the use of her office fridge to store my stash.  Nice.

My maternity leave ends in 8 days.  Well, the official ending date was last week, but I go back to work next week on a part-time basis.

*sigh*

Happy and sad about this.  Happy to be back in the action; sad because I have to be away from little one #2.  But I can't have it both ways.

The Research Roller Coaster continues...

We got the assignment grades back.  We did pretty well on one of them and not so well--but passing--on the other.   The pretty-well one was a serious chunk of our final grade, so that's good news.  The not-so-well one still has one more part to complete before that becomes the largest part of our grade.  I think we can pull off something in the 80s, which will be nice.

Then I took the quiz...no, I didn't take it at 0300 as I feared I would have to.  I was going to wait until the better half came home to tend to little one #2, but I decided that I didn't want to lose a whole day doing nothing.  I wasn't studying because I felt if I didn't know it by now I wasn't going to know it, and I certainly wasn't getting any other work done because I was focused on the quiz...and trying not to throw up.

When I'm anxious, I get nauseous.  When I'm really anxious, I actually vomit.

Little one #2 seemed placid this morning, and I figured we may as well give it a try.  So I moved everything--baby, laptop, cable modem--into the nursery, set him in his crib, set myself up in the corner, said a prayer, and went at it.  Worst case scenario:  he flips out, I attach him to a boob while still answering questions.  It wouldn't be the first time I've taken a test with a nursing child.

He did a lot better than I thought.  I did a lot better than I thought...so well that I'm actually kind of shell-shocked.  No, not a 100%--I think I would have had a MI if that happened--but very close.

THEN I threw up.

So now things are looking up again.

Off to tackle the next assignment, which is the last part that I mentioned above.

Dilemma resolved

So I had my appointment with provider #2.  The director was nice.  All of my questions were answered to my satisfaction.  The facility was OK.  The infant room was kind of blah but then again, it's not as though infants do a whole lot.  The setup for the older kids looks a lot better.  Plenty of staff available there though.  And the scheduling is uber-flexible.

No bad gut feelings about the place.  Little one #2 would be taken care of.

But yet, I didn't get the warm and fuzzy feelings that I get with provider #1.   I felt more like little one #2 would be just one in a sea of babies.  I wasn't expecting 1:1 care all the time--if that's what I wanted I'd hire a nanny--but I felt like he'd be a little lost in the shuffle.

I talked to my sister to get her opinion, and then I thought about everything as I was stuck in freeway traffic.  I'm only planning to work two days a week, and I really don't need that much short-notice flexibility.   The main job will have to accept that I can't do same-day requests as much (if at all) anymore.  The agency will get a set two days a week and if they can't use me on those days they can't use me.  And if the main job has booked me that week, the agency will have to do without as I really don't want to go over two days a week.

I felt more comfortable with provider #1's environment.  Little one #2 wouldn't be lost in the shuffle here.  No, he wouldn't be 1:1 but as I said, I don't expect that.  But I feel like he'd get more attention here.  He's only one of three infants there.  He'll have a playmate who is a month older than him.  There aren't that many other kids either, and the staffing is 1:3 regardless of the kids' ages.

More importantly, I felt more comfortable with provider #1.  They remind me of the provider I had for my first little one when I was in nursing school.  I feel better with them.  Warmer, fuzzier.  Worried, but I'd be worried if I was leaving little one #2 with his grandparents.  But less worried than I would with provider #2.

So I went ahead and enrolled him with provider #1.   I'll decline provider #2 on Monday.  See, I follow my own advice:  I didn't turn down one until I signed on with the other.  In this case, it wasn't jobs but childcare providers.

In other news, the textbooks for my class arrived.  I went with Research first.  I was tempted--and still am--to double up and get Vulnerable Populations over with as well.  But overall, I think it'll be better for me to take them separately.  I don't need the stress of two classes, especially as I'll be resuming work during that time.  

In which Meriwhen has a dilemma

So I had lined up an excellent childcare provider for little one #2.  The dilemma is that there is another provider who has an opening and who may work out better for me.  Both providers are licensed and insured.

The pros of provider #2:  childcare center as opposed to in-house, hours are a better fit, more flexible regarding rotating schedules, very close to where I live, reasonable cost for two days a week, decent reviews online.

The cons:  childcare center as opposed to in-house (let's face it, each has advantages and disadvantages), don't have prior experience with them, available start date is not my desired start date (and because they are licensed they can't go over ratio), drop-in care availability questionable and if available, cost may go up drastically on weeks I need more than two days.

Meanwhile, pros of provider #1:  in-house as opposed to larger center, have used them before with the older little one and all were happy, definitely know what the cost will be each week, decent flexibility, can start anytime, drop-in care available as I'd be reserving a full-time spot with them, better half likes them.

Cons of provider #1:  may not be as flexible as I need them to be because their start hours don't coincide with my work hours (they are opening early for me for the days I need them)...and because of that, rotating schedules may not go over well.

I have an appointment this week to tour provider #2.  I plan to pepper them with many questions.

Meanwhile, I still have provider #1 so unless provider #2 can answer my questions to my satisfaction, I'll be signing with her.  I was going to do that this week, but little one #2 got sick.  I don't want to risk spreading it to any other kids, so I reschedules my date with provider #1.  This will give me a chance to talk to provider #2 as well as to my employers so I get an idea of what hours I will really be needing.

Figuring the whole milkmaid thing out

I've been practicing with the pump so when I return to work, I'll be confident and know what I'm doing.  The pump is easy to set up and break down.  It's a double-pump, so I can do it in about 10 minutes, which is good.  I'm figuring on two pumping sessions while at work:  one at lunch and one during my 15 minute break.

State law (and Federal law as well, I think) provides for me to take breaks to pump, as well as designating an area that is not a restroom for me to do it in.  Granted, the breaks may be unpaid, and the area set aside may not necessarily be the Ritz-Carlton.  An outlet present would be nice but not necessary:  the pump does have a backup battery, and I have a stack of rechargable AAs.  

I'm not worried about my main job.  The schedule is flexible enough that I can pump when I need to, there's several unofficial areas that are used for pumping, and the staff is supportive...heck, a few of them are even pumping themselves, not just nurses but doctors too.  It's also a unionized facility, so should my pumping ever be a problem, I can call the union to go all Gangbusters on them.

But to be honest, I don't ever see my pumping as becoming that bad of an issue.  It's a really awesome organization. 

It's the agency job I'm concerned about.  The site they usually send me to has a lactation room, so the "where" is not a problem.  It's the "when" at the agency job that I'm worried about.

The patient flow at the site is unpredictable, so I can't say with certainty that I can pump at 1000 and 1300 every day.  If things are slow and no one else is at lunch/break, I can take time to do these things...and to be perfectly fair, the site does make every effort for us to get our break and lunch, especially as if we miss them, they have to pay us at least time and a half under state law.  If things are hectic...well, to be honest, there are days where even with the best efforts made by the site, I've had to miss my break or lunch.  Rarely, I've had to miss both.  So there may be times when only one session is all I can get in.  If that.

I'm not sure how my pumping would be treated by both the agency and the site, but I'm not planning to ask for special favors:  I'll just use my break and lunch to do what I have to do.  Heck, I may not even tell either of them that I'm pumping, lest it be used against me and I'm suddenly not scheduled as often.  Well, I may tell a couple of people who I think could point me to dark corners that I can use in a pinch.

*sigh*

I guess all I can do is prepare the best that I can, and we'll see what happens.  At least these laws are an improvement over what it was like several years ago.  They're not bulletproof protection, but they do help somewhat.

Prepping for the return to work

I've completed a whole bunch of review tests with the agency...I surprised myself with how much info I retained about general as well as psych nursing.  I also passed the med/med dose calculation exam.  Sweet.  All that's left to do to be able to return to work there is getting a physical exam.

Meanwhile, back at my main job, I've already been hit with requests to pick up shifts all summer...and that's just my core unit.  I've been warned to expect more requests, as things are not good in per-diem land.  One per-diem is only working 2 days a week (sounds like me) and then not even consistently.  Another per-diem is out for several weeks due to an injury.  And they haven't hired any other per-diems.  So I've been told that they're desperate.

My core unit wanted to be sure to get first dibs on me.  I reminded them that I do belong to them so of course they will get scheduling priority.

Childcare is squared away.  My usual provider agreed to the deal.

I have the electric breastmilk pump ready.  I'm not worried so much about that as I have state law on my side.  I know a few good nooks where I can do it at my main job, and the other job has a specific lactation room.  I do need to figure out how to use the pump, though.  It's supposed to be able to run off of either the battery or AC current.

I also need to figure out how much little one #2 eats over 10 hours so I can prepare accordingly.  The problem is that I have no idea how many ounces he takes in at a feed, as my breasts don't come with gauges that can measure how empty the tanks are.  So for that, I may have to seek some guidance from La Leche as well as from a couple of pumping mothers that I know.

Of work and brassieres

I went in for my post-partum checkup/return to work physical.  I'm recovering nicely from the c-section and have the all-clear to exercise once I hit 8 weeks postpartum...basically, by the weekend.  I'm also cleared to return to work.  So I talked with the hospital HR rep, and we've set a return to work date of June 1.  Which is good as I've already been asked if I can start picking up shifts in June.

In other news, I am having a hard time finding brassieres.  As we all know, breastfeeding causes a chest expansion, both in general as well as on an hourly basis.  Now that I'm cleared to resume normal activities, I went to the maternity store to get a measurement to see what size I need.

40F.  Technically, I'm, in the words of the sales assistant who measured me, "38 to 40 and a E to a F."

I read that as a 39 E/F, which does not exist.  I thought that the 38DD was the black hole of brassiere sizes.

When between sizes move up to the next size...hence 40F.

The good news is that in a maternity store, 38DD is a very common bra size.  The bad news is that 40F is not.  For that size you are referred to the "plus-size" section...which not all maternity stores have.

*sigh*

The first maternity store referred me to another in their chain that did have larger bra sizes.  Even there, 40F was the limit.  They had a 42G and a 46G on the rack, but basically, the sizes topped off at 40F.  And there weren't a whole lot of 40Fs either.  I did manage to find four...not my favorite style though, but comfortable enough.

7 weeks on: tying up non-clinical ends and working on my health

I found out that the next testing date for the CARN (Certified Addictions Registered Nurse) is in October.  Registration deadline is September.  I need 30 addiction-related CEUs...I already have some thanks to all of the grunt work needed for both the ANCC certification and to keep the CA BON happy.  The problem is that addictions-related CEUs aren't easily found, and if they are found they aren't free.  So I have to stalk them.  Fortunately, my psych journals will give me a few leads, and the Journal of Addictions Nursing is full of them.  But to help mitigate the costs of all of these CEUs, I'm trying to find an inservice or seminar where I can get a batch of them (6-10 units) at one go.

Oh well, it is what it is.

I'm also trying to find out what I need to do to finish this BSN.  I have two more nursing classes to complete before I can take Capstone.  Both of these nursing classes are offered in May, so the options are:

a.  Take both classes at once, then Capstone in July.
b.  Take one class in May, one in July (if they offer it, that is!) and Capstone in September.

I'm trying to see if they offer either of the nursing courses in July...if they do, I may take option B.  If they don't, I think I'll suck it up and take option A.  I really don't want to drag out this BSN any longer...it's been nearly four fecking years.

Fortunately, I am on maternity leave until June 15th, so having to juggle work will not be an issue should I decide on option A.  However, the two classes are both (so the rumor mill says) tough ones, and taking them together may be insane.  Then again, it couldn't be as bad as having to take U.S. History with any class while working full-time.  I'm still recovering from THAT experience.

We'll see.

I followed up with my PCP re my HTN.  Blood pressure is beautiful, at least at the office:  110/76.  I have also been monitoring it at home and those numbers haven't been as beautiful...not scary, but not beautiful.  The weight is down a few pounds since last month, which isn't bad considering it's mostly been diet changes and cutting out the salt.  The PCP and I reviewed all the numbers and decided to stick with the current labetalol dose and follow up in two months.  I'm still to work on the weight loss...this week I go for my 6 week post-partum follow-up and I should be cleared for exercising.

He also ordered an ECG, X-ray and lab work just so we have a baseline.  ECG done (sinus rhythm and normal).  Blood drawn and urine donated (results in a week).   I have to go back later for the X-ray.

In other news, little one #2 is good.  He's much more alert.  He's put on weight like a champ.  He's gotten the breastfeeding bit down perfectly.  He's also lost most of his hair.

I'm incredibly lucky in that he has no problems going to sleep at night:  I put him in his bassinet, tell him it's bedtime, and he entertains himself to sleep.  He wakes 2-4 times a night to nurse, but that's cool:  I just accept that I will not be getting a full night's sleep for the next two years.

We are not as lucky when it comes to daytime napping, however.  But I'm told that takes some time.

In the next week, we're going to try introducing a bottle.  No, I'm not giving up on breastfeeding--I don't plan to do that until he's two.   But if I go back to work my breasts have to go with me while little one #2 can't...so enter the breast pump and bottle.  My sister warned me not to wait too long on introducing the occasional bottle of pumped milk.  She didn't offer it to her younger son until he was 6 months old.  He's now 11 months old and only now is finally willing to take it...sometimes.

3 weeks on...

Newborns don't really do much at this age other than eat, sleep, nurse, cry, pee and poop.  Occasionally I'll get a quiet alert moment where we stare at each other, but for the most part it's the above list.  He was awake when we watched the new Pope take office so he got to see history being made.

Yet I can't seem to get much done around here.  The fact that he is doing most of these activities in my arms may have something to do with that.  Though truth be told, that's probably a good thing because apparently I'm pushing myself too hard re activity--my incision has been killing me, among other S&Sx--and so I need to go back to sitting on the couch imitating a vegetable for a few days.

I did scale back on my Investigation Discovery so my mood has been lighter.  I'm now catching up on all sorts of classic movies, as well as watching my fill of Duck Dynasty.   I also started reading my addiction book, so I don't feel as guilty for not working and slacking on school.

I did fire up MyFitnessPal and start tackling the weight gain.  Little one #2 likes to cry and be fussy at dinnertime, so he may be my greatest weight-loss aid yet.  As soon as I sit down to eat, he lets it go...so I have to get up and take care of him.  By the time I've settled him down (or not) and go back to my dinner, I'm not that hungry anymore.  He's also a snuggler...as in, if he's got a choice between being in the crib and in someone's arms, he wants the arms hands down and will let you know that.    Hence why he's in my arms all the time...what can I say?  I come down on the side of attachment parenting.

All the grandparents will be arriving shortly, though not at the same time, thank God.  My parents are coming out in less than 10 days (eek!) so I better start cleaning now, especially since I can't strain myself.  Better half's parents follow a few days after mine leave.

The burn is healing, I think

I had one burn blister that kept refilling and draining and refilling...well, today, I think it finally stopped refilling.  The burn looks marginally better.  I'm not expecting return to the original skin tone anytime soon.  I'll just be happy if there's no more broken skin.

Secondary casualty of the burn:  one pair of shorts.  Burn blister serous fluid plus Neosporin equals a grease stain that gauze can't fully contain.  

*sigh*

I did make an appointment with my PCP for him to evaluate the burn, as well as for my blood pressure.  The headache returned a couple of days ago and finally broke today.  I think what wasn't helping either headache or blood pressure issues was the fact that because of the various pains I've been having (incision, headache, burn) I've been taking ibuprofen nonstop (800mg q6h) for the last two weeks:  I think my kidneys finally said "no mas."  So I'm now on only APAP for any pain.

In other news, I'm getting TV-ed out.  I spent the last week on the couch with little one #2, healing and imitating a vegetable.  It's worked--my abdomen feels much better.  But I've watched so much Investigation Discovery that I'm delirious with conspiracy theories.  I think that this week, I really need to start working on some of those addiction CEUs--I can read my journals while breastfeeding.  I should also start getting myself and little one #2 out for walks, or at least sitting in the backyard.

So....

This is kind of TMI in parts, so you've been warned.

OK?

OK.

My fears over not knowing when I should go to the hospital turned out to be unfounded:  I woke up in the middle of the night and knew these contractions were different.  I called L&D after the 1st hour and the nurse said give it another hour before I came in to make sure I'm close to 4cm dilated.  Anyhow, two hours later, we go in...and I'm already at 7cm and nearly fully effaced.  Gee, I could have gone after hour 1 and had the epidural that much sooner.

By the way, the nurse I spoke to also told me to take some Tylenol to help with the pain, so we suspect she has never actually given birth.

Of course, finding the anesthesiologist always takes forever.  He finally arrived but my sister didn't realize it was him.  She thought it was a nurse and was about to give him grief for taking forever with the consent process.  I had to explain it to her when he left to get his supplies.

Epidural went in and my labor went fast except for the littler-one-to-be's heart rate dropping to danger levels during contractions, as well as his failure to turn to LOA (the desired position) and descend.  So it ended in an emergency c-section after only 8.5 hours--the time I woke up to the point he emerged.

My sister photographed it all.  I have pictures of the baby, the c-section, the littler-one's emerging, the uterus, the placenta, the fibroids that they suspect were not helping things, the blood on the floor...yeah, my family is warped like that.  

Meanwhile, my better half had gone home to get the little one to school, and when he returned to the hospital he had no idea what was going on--they just brought him to the OR.  We had no time to text him and let him know.  He handled the blood and guts fairly well considering his squeamishness.  He didn't pass out upon seeing a real placenta.  Though he did ask, upon seeing the blood on the floor, "Is that normal?"  Sister and OR staff were all made aware of his squeamishness, so they kept telling him, "Don't look at it, keep moving, keep walking."  

Only two complications during the whole hospital stay.  The first was the fibroids:  apparently they got stuck to something and had to be cut free.  They weren't removed, so I'll have to address then down the road.  The other one was that they gave me Demerol.  I was shaking pretty bad from the epidural, to the point that I couldn't even hold the littler one.  Demerol apparently fixes this problem and in this case it was the lesser of the two evils, so...I said Yes.  I know, but you have no idea how violent the shakes were.  I was scaring everyone, especially myself.

So I got two syringes of Demerol, stopped shaking within 15 minutes, then spent the next 18 hours vomiting bile.

I was fine the next day, discharged the day after.  And yes, I had nursing students...I swear I was a magnet for them.  One of them was really nice though, so I consented to letting him call to follow-up on me for his class.

Went through the baby blues early in the week but I'm over them now.  

Littler one passed his first checkup with no problem.  Me, on the other hand...

I had to go to the OB because my headache was going on two days with no relief.  My blood pressure was up and my feet were very swollen, so labwork and another 24 hour urine test was ordered.  I'm a pro at these now, so I did that with ease and dropped that off on Friday.  The headache finally broke on Friday (thank God), the feet shrunk, and I felt fine all weekend.  At my follow-up today, my pressure was down to nearly normal levels and the bloodwork was normal.  The 24 hour urine came back over 300, but the doctor isn't concerned.  He said that if he had seen these results on Friday and I still had the headache, he would have talked about admitting me to the hospital.  But he feels that as it's been a couple of days since the test, the pain has stopped and my pressure is now normal, it has likely resolved itself.  So as long as I don't have a reemergence of any signs/symptoms of trouble, I can follow-up at my 6 week checkup.

Then there's the tea incident.

I burned myself with boiling water while making tea.  The glass shattered, water splashed my leg, I stumbled backwards and fell on my rear.  No cuts from the glass.  No injury from the fall.  A hand-sized burn on my front thigh which I thought was first degree, but it formed scattered blisters overnight.   Whee.

When I went for the follow-up today, the doctor checked out the burn and gave me some supplies to dress it.  I also dredged up everything I remembered about burns so I know what to do and not do when caring for it.  It's in a bad spot...that's the most annoying thing about it.  I can't quite tape the gauze on comfortably.

Anyhow, here I am.  I've lost about 25 lb of the pregnancy weight gain.  I no longer look 6 months pregnant--I'm down to about 3 months.  Pain from the C-section is manageable with Motrin/APAP.  I'm getting decent sleep considering I wake up three times a night for the littler one.   Overall, I can't complain.  Life is good.

My sudden absence from here can only mean one thing...

Boy (no surprise there), 7 lbs, born via emergency c-section last week.  I went into labor the night of my last post and he was born the following day.  Labor itself was easy, but he was in fetal distress so he needed to get out ASAP.

We are both doing very well.  More when I can tolerate sitting at a computer for more than a few minutes at a time.