December 30, 2010

So my PCP thinks I'm suicidal

I went for some follow-up blood work last week and asked my PCP to throw in a thyroid panel since I had been so cold intolerant. Didn't think anything was seriously wrong with me...I was just feeling the cold worse than I usually do. I also was tired, yes, but I had no sleep the night before. And I was a mite hungry since it was a fasting blood test. Maybe I wasn't the most chipper patient, but I certainly wasn't manifesting any signs of SI.

So I get a call on Christmas Day and it's my PCP following up on "my feeling down." I reassure her that I wasn't feeling down; I was cold, tired and hungry that day. I told her that I work as a psych nurse and I do understand her concern, especially since depression and suicide rates go up at this time of year. I also asked how my blood work was, and it was fantastic. The Zocor is working wonders.

Today I get a letter in the mail: please follow up with the PCP re my condition. Now I'm nervous...did the nurse not have my right lab results? So I call and ask what is going on. Turns out that apparently the PCP had wanted me to return in one week to follow-up on my "malaise." Either he didn't tell me, or did tell me but I was too cold, tired and hungry to remember. When I didn't show on that day, the phone call was made (and that nurse who called didn't mention anything about needing a follow-up) and the letter generated.

Meanwhile, this nurse is interrogating me: am I feeling OK? Feeling depressed? Thoughts of hurting myself or anyone else? Can I please return in the next couple of days just to follow up and make sure everything is good.

My first reaction was, "Oh, this is how it sounds when I ask my patients those same questions." It was weird being on the other end of that conversation.

I reassure this nurse that yes, I'm fine, no SI, no HI, will come by in the next two days, cross my heart and hope to...no I didn't say the last part. But I will be spending my New Year's Eve at my PCP's reassuring them that I'm not about to off myself. I'm worried though...they're so serious about it, I'll bet I find myself being handed a script for Zoloft with a "let's just try it out and see what happens."

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