October 27, 2011

A little rant about trying to have it all ways

My better half can be very annoying at times.

He's in the service, going on 15 years. We've been together for nearly 17 years so I know the drill of how it works: basically I can't rely on his schedule for anything. I've known this for 15 years and accepted it, hence the going on 17 years.

However, he is convinced that even after all these years, I don't understand this concept, as any time I many any remark about his work hours I get the whole speech of how they're unreliable and can be longer and there's no promises and he has no say in them, etc., etc., etc., inc. I tell him that I understand that, and he continues to lecture me on and on...the man's a pro at beating dead horses.

So I look for childcare arrangements so I don't have to rely on him and his schedule...and I get resistance there too. Then it's the speech of how our son shouldn't be in childcare so much, he's there so late, he's with someone he doesn't really know, etc., etc., etc., inc. Again, dead horses beaten to death.

To add insult to injury, over the last several years I've seen lots of active-duty parents able to drop off/ and pick up their kids from school or daycare, as well as see them make arrangements to cover childcare in emergencies. Mine can't seem to be able (read: willing) to do it...yet if he needs to take his car to the garage or pick up something for himself, he has no problem is being able to get out early. Right now he's on shore duty so the hours are generally better, but yet he continues to throw up his hands in protest.

What my better half doesn't get is that nursing is not 9-5...at least not the nursing job I want. I could sit in some doctor's office--if I can find one that will hire a RN over a LVN or MA--but I wouldn't be happy. Nor does the better half understand that the plum shifts are not automatically handed out to new hires...guess he's forgotten all of the evenings and weekends I had to work at my last job before I was able to move to straight days with no weekends. If I want to be hired full-time evenings or nights, no problem: I can do that instantly...but he won't like what I have to do to make it happen, nor will he step up to plate to help out.

There's a history behind my drive to work that I won't go into here...suffice it to say that I decided a long time ago that not working is not an option for my well-being. So I'm deciding that I am going to make that happen and if I need to engage childcare to do it, then so be it. I won't go out of my way to get the world's worst hours, but if that's all I can get then that's what I'm going for.

And my better half will have to make a choice: if he doesn't like the idea of childcare than he needs to make changes to be there. If he is unwilling/unable to make that effort, he'll just have to accept it.

If that sounds selfish on my part...well, as a military spouse I've made a lot of sacrifices for him over the years. I have not asked for much over the years. A little support right now would be nice though.

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