December 3, 2011

So today is the day

1:30pm. 4 hours. Instant notification of passing or failure. What a way to spend a Saturday.

Hindsight being what it is, I would really have waited to schedule this exam until we were more settled out in CA and I would be able to craft and really adhere to a good study plan. But my excitement to get it done got the better of me: after all, I was a great student in nursing school, I did very well on the sample/practice tests, so this should be a no-brainer, or so I thought. Plus I thought it would really help with the job search out here: I know the market in CA is tight and I really didn't expect to have a job within a couple of months. I knew it'd be easier than the new grad job search but I also heard how experienced nurses were having a hard time.

And I will be entirely honest and admit this: I wanted to be the first one in my graduating class that had gotten certification. Or at least one of the first ones...OK, I really wanted to be the first one, so I could put that accomplishment up there with graduating summa cum laude. Then I looked in those review books and realized how much I don't know...or know I learned in school but don't remember. Heh. So much for book smarts.

Pride goeth before a fall. Or act in haste and repent in leisure. Both apply here: the former because I feel like I should live up to being the top student even though I've graduated; the latter because of insecurity and anxiety.

I'm not nervous though. I'm going to go in and do my best. If I pass, yay yay yay, and I'll be celebrating with some fine Mexican food. If I fail, they'll tell me what areas I need to work on, and then after the 60-day time-out period I'll reschedule it for the spring/summer. I'll probably still be eating the fine Mexican food, as I'm not the type of person who goes anorexic when they're upset.

I talked with my better half about this, and he felt I should take the exam even if I don't feel ready--at the least I'll get an idea of what it's like. And I have to agree: personally, I'd rather take it, fail and reschedule it than to lose a ridiculous amount of money on a cancellation fee--even though canceling and rescheduling would cost less in the long run--because I feel like I'd be wasting my money if I cancelled.

So here goes nothing. Wish me luck and that I learn from this experience, pass or fail.

No comments: