April 24, 2010

Completely non-nursing post

I wish my mother would understand that I would call her a lot more if I wasn't beaten down and berated every time I called her about all the things I'm supposedly doing wrong in life, all the things my sister is doing wrong in hers, everything my father is doing wrong with his.  A bitch-fest from start to finish and she takes it all out on me.  And there's always an excuse why she's stressed..."it's your father/your sister/my job/your family/life/etc.". 

Nothing I ever do is good enough either--if I say something, it's not the response she's looking for. 

Then it's all capped off with ranting about how "my children never call me."  Neverminding that we last spoke less than 72 hours ago.  I'm sorry, but if that tactic is supposed to get me to call her, it hasn't worked:  I'm not that masochistic. 

Once she started in on me, I pretty much shut down and just said "OK" to everything she said, to the point that she got aggrivated and said that she'd let me go.  And I damn well hung up that phone fast.

I'd like to say, "well, she is stressed, etc."...but this has been going on for far too long.

I bought the Mother's Day cards today, and it was the hardest thing I had to do in my life.  I read the cards and not one of them I could apply to my mother.  I finally settled on a basic one...which I know won't be good enough, nor will what I write in it be good enough.  Nor will the flowers I send her be good enough.  So why do I bother?

Sorry for venting.  Her phone call and subsequent torture ruined a perfectly good Saturday for me, and my mood has been black ever since.

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