September 16, 2012

As much as I hate to do this, I've come to the realization that something has to give.  The pregnancy is knocking me out.  School is knocking me out.  Two jobs are knocking me out.  So it basically comes down to this:  either give up the inpatient job, or postpone school.  Either one I cut I'd resume after the baby's birth.  I decided that of the two, I can handle school more easily than the second job.  So I've haven't given the agency any hours...actually, haven't done so in over a month.   I've only been working outpatient, which has been busy enough that I bring home a decent paycheck.

It turned out to be the better decision:  taking history and a nursing class together has been brutal.  My days off of work are spent chained to my computer.  Plus, I'm far less likely to be caught up in a violent code at the outpatient job, so there's less risk of danger to myself and the baby.

Plus, I'm so close to finishing this degree that I could almost taste it.  After this semester ends, there will be just two more classes left, and I have to take them separately so there will be no masochistic doubling-up on my part.  The thought of having to extend school any more than I have is painful.  I'm tired of not having the BSN.  I'm tired of being in school.  I'm tired of having my job options limited.

And I'm tired of feeling like the odd one out at nursing association meetings where everyone is either an APN or in school to be one.  Meanwhile here I am with my little ADN (of which I am not ashamed of), as well as being one of the few bedside nurses with any degree...and while I'm learning a lot from these meetings, I also feel terribly out of place.  It's funny:  at the meetings they talk about how they can get more bedside nurses to attend, but during these meetings they talk mostly about advanced practice nursing issues.  I see very few bedside nurses with repeat attendance at meetings. Go fig.

Anyhow...since stopping the second job, I am feeling a lot better.  I'm not as tired as I used to be, though I do sleep a lot more than usual.

I've had to adjust my diet so I can still control the weight gain.  I'm in my fifth month now and have gained 5 pounds to date...which may not seem like a lot but considering I was overweight to begin with, is actually par for my OB's plans for me.  I asked all my dietitians what I should do to keep pregnancy weight gain reasonable--a perk of working in eating disorders is easy access to dietitians--and they said to just eat normally.  So I'm not running out supersizing things or indulging in extra food because I'm eating for two.  I pay vague attention to calories but don't count them.  I just follow my doctor's (and the dietitians') recommendations.

I have to find a way to work in more exercise though.  Since I spend my days off chained to the computer, I am not as active as I have been.  And with the heat wave we've been experiencing, when I can be out for walks is limited.   But I'm going to try.  Maybe I'll start taking the dog for evening walks around the block.

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