First nursing-school related panic attack

While sitting here with the kids (my son had a slumber party), I started spazzing about nursing school:   how hard it's going to be, how much time it will take up, getting childcare for my boy, occupational health hazards...just everything.  It was rather overwheming.  Part of me wanted to say, "maybe I should put this off a bit longer" but I know if I do that, school will never happen because there will always be something that comes up that'll make me say "maybe I should..."

My biggest cause for panic concern is childcare.  It's just me and the Carpetshark until February.  The first half of the semester won't be too bad; it's when clinical start with the late hours that I'm worried about.  I don't really have anyone at home to say, "go pick up Carpetshark, I'm stuck here until 9."  At least the military has childcare resources I can call upon, including providers that offer care at odd hours.  I'm going to get a list of referals on Monday, and hopefully I'll find someone on one of them.  I know, I've got more than a month until school starts and another month or so after that until the first clinicals start...but let me get it squared away now.

They recommend that you spend 3 hours a week studying for each credit hour you're taking.  That will be 27 hours for me.  27 hours a week on top of everything else in my life.  I'm going to have to be very resourceful with my time.  Once those books arrive I'm going to start getting ahead on my reading, since I can't afford to be behind at all.

My graduate pen-pal gave me the advice that as long as you're passing you WILL become a nurse, and that the grades you graduate with don't mean that much in the end.  It is encouraging to know that I don't HAVE to be perfect, that I'll just do fine as long as I pass.  But that doesn't mean I won't let my guard down and stop shooting for the A.  First, I want the 4.0 GPA to live just a little longer.  Second, if I shoot for the A, then I know I'm more likely to get the B as opposed to shooting for the B.  But it's pretty tight to get an A:  you need a 94 or better. 

I debated with myself about keeping this blog to document my experiences, especially with all of these instances in the media of "private" blogs and websites coming to bite people in the ass, I'm hesitant to.  But then again, I would like a record of this to look back on, and yes, I would like to share it with others.  So I'm going to keep it for the time being, but don't expect any pictures or a lot of specific details about who/what/when.  I might be annoyingly vague about things, but at least I'll feel comfortable doing so.