July 23, 2007

Wisdom from an old kitchen sign

Went to a friend's house last night, where we proceeded to kill a couple of bottles of wine, some Indian food and brownies.  We also vented about the stressful weeks we had...I let all of that stress over nursing school out.  It felt good to do it, especially to an audience that will just listen.  Whereas venting to the husband, while also good, is also frustrating because he falls into the "I need to fix it for her" mentality and gets upset when he can't come up with a solution.

Often, all I want is someone to listen, that's all.  Not necessarily to solve the problem or give me the magic answer.  Just to listen.  Anyhow I felt a lot better after last night.  Still worried about everything, of course.

One thing I will have to work on over the next month:  I tend to internalize my stress, always have.  This results in me having a long fuse (since I don't express it) but an explosive temper (when I do let it out, it's like a dam breaking), as well as getting myself physically ill from it,  And the stress just keeps on magnifying in my mind and gets out of control, that pretty soon I'm stressing over things that I have no control over, things that don't concern me, things that haven't even happened yet but I'm convinced will with the way my life is going.

I realized last night, as I was venting to my friend, that I really need to find better ways to manage stress, because for all the stress I'm undergoing now, it's only going to grow exponentially once classes start.  I need to find a better outlet for releasing it, and to release it a lot sooner.  I also need to learn sort things into categories just like in that saying/prayer:  the things I can do something about (change) and the things I can't (accept)...and then learn how to tell which is which. 

Kitchen Wisdom 101.

A few years ago, I had bought some books on meditation and zen that I never got around to reading...after last night, I thought about them and decided to dig them out.   It couldn't hurt to give them a look-see.

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